The Grump: A Pessimist’s Last Request
I don’t pander to the drug merchants. My pleasures are not herbal.
I don’t believe in drinking and I don’t get off on verbal.
Gossip is innocuous and I have no affection
for reading mystery novels. I am bored by their detection.
I do not seek adventure in movies or in travel.
I don’t see what folks see in Judge Judy’s pounding gavel.
I don’t have any hobbies, for I find all pastimes boring.
I got rid of my wife for I can’t abide her snoring.
I don’t see what folks see in life so when time comes to end it,
please do not resuscitate. I don’t wish to extend it!
A disclaimer: this poem is preceded by a favorite photo I once took but in no way illustrates the person depicted. He’s a good sport and has let me use this photo three different times to illustrate humorous poems.
Prompt words are adventure, innocuous, herbal, pander and affection. And. . .this poem is purely fiction. Go ahead and resuscitate me!!!!
So delicious! To think it might not have been written without those prompts! I’m reblogging.
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How strange~! I posted a poem of bad manners and when it was posted yours popped up. But I did use a photo of a person unknown to make my point – Ha~!
On Wed, Jul 28, 2021 at 9:42 AM lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown wrote:
> lifelessons posted: ” The Grump: A Pessimist’s Last Request I don’t pander > to the drug merchants. My pleasures are not herbal. I don’t believe in > drinking and I don’t get off on verbal. Gossip is innocuous and I have no > affection for reading mystery novels. I am bore” >
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When I post it usually attaches two earlier poems that have similar themes, plus below them two posts by other people on the same theme. Is that what happened to you?
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Well as they would say in the Dakotas, or in an that advertisement, this photo is definitely not: “A buck well spent on a Springmaid sheet”.
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Good one Judy.
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Lol! Thanks for the chuckle.
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