Bar Stool Bozos and the Predictable Come-on Line


Bar Stool Bozos and the Predictable Come-on Line

A new potential conquest is seen falling from her stool
in bodily protection from contact with this fool.
He’s a denizen of single bars, a problem to avoid,
for he’s sure to leave you listless, if not, in fact, annoyed.

How many boring platitudes can one bromide spout?
How may time-worn come-on lines are vying to get out
of lips that move unceasingly, spilling into the night
all the obvious clichés that he’s driven to cite?

Of all the gin joints in the world, why did he enter in
into the one where you came to have a quiet gin?
There should be a law passed that you get to vote on who
gets to wander into bars and saunter up to you.

They should have to pass an I.Q. test, then be sorted and tagged,
from “interesting” to “boring,” and the worst should then be gagged
with a small hole for a soda straw so they could go on drinking
without the ones around them having to know what they’re thinking.

 

Notable come-on lines that are grounds for gagging:

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”
“We gotta get you outa that wet dress and into a dry martini.”

 

Prompt words today are bromide, falling, denizen and problem.

Note: Bromide in literary usage means a phrase, cliché, or platitude that is trite or unoriginal. It can be intended to soothe or placate; it can suggest insincerity or a lack of originality in the speaker. Bromide can also mean a commonplace or tiresome person, a bore (a person who speaks in bromides).

8 thoughts on “Bar Stool Bozos and the Predictable Come-on Line

        1. lifelessons Post author

          When I lived in Cheyenne I had a good deal of barroom experience. There was a large group of teachers in their 20’s, unmarried, and it was our usual entertainment venue at least three nights a week. We also traveled together to Vegas, Reno, and once even to New Orleans. We perhaps even frequented the same bar there on that occasion, although it was probably long after you had abandoned N.O. for more exotic climes.

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          1. SAM VOELKER

            Actually I was never much of a “bar hopper”, not that I felt it wrong, just found my entertainment elsewhere like night school in all the subjects that interested me. Now as a young expat in a foreign land, I tried out everything and found the places there superior for having a friendly drink much more to my liking. When I speak of B-girls,, that is the status quo in Louisiana, as you must have seen.. Just not to my liking.. As now, I preferred a good intelligent conversation, hopefully one to one, not the loud tipsy parties, though I would be lying if I said that I never did that too~! I am not a prude, just stubborn in my likes and dislikes, as you must have seen in me by now.
            Speaking of that, our little lost person down your way has started corresponded but it is not going very well as untrue angry things have been said and I called her on it..because it was about my mother, her mother and my sister. I can’t understand complete families that can’t get along. We will see, if she is telling the truth, she is supposed to be very sick.

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  1. Marion Couvillion

    TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY~!

    On Sun, Aug 29, 2021 at 6:35 AM lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown wrote:

    > lifelessons posted: ” Bar Stool Bozos and the Predictable Come-on Line A > new potential conquest is seen falling from her stool in bodily protection > from contact with this fool. He’s a denizen of single bars, a problem to > avoid, for he’s sure to leave you listless, if n” >

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  2. Marion Couvillion

    *TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY *

    Well my Latin looks was my drawing straw and my coonass accent was another way but keeping away B-girls almost in the raw from attacking my young body on that day.

    All I wanted to do was to have a cool drink but they just would not leave me alone only wanted to free load, makes me think and knowing it would never end up at my home.

    So I did not waste that “voudriez-vous” stuff on her willing ears; I just kept my silence because I knew she was well worn by her fluff making passes at this same bar for money reliance.

    But if I wanted to silence her, I would only say : « devons-nous a chez moi et allons au let » if she understood that, she would be on her way. Else she would be the one, buying the drinks that day.

    But now I am growing old and my looks are gone I did not come here for that, I am not an old fool just a cool drink and then I’ll be on my way home while trying not be the one to fall off that bar stool.

    *SAM “OLD BOZO” VOELKER*

    On Sun, Aug 29, 2021 at 8:32 AM Marion Couvillion wrote:

    > TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY~! > > On Sun, Aug 29, 2021 at 6:35 AM lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown > wrote: > >> lifelessons posted: ” Bar Stool Bozos and the Predictable Come-on Line A >> new potential conquest is seen falling from her stool in bodily protection >> from contact with this fool. He’s a denizen of single bars, a problem to >> avoid, for he’s sure to leave you listless, if n” >>

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