When it comes to a crunch, you’ll find he’s not there,
for he’s sleekit and stealthy and silent as air.
Indignation won’t faze him. If you say he’s to blame,
he’ll suggest you mature and get back in the game.
He won’t give you a hand when you’re down on your luck.
He’ll just say you lack courage, endurance and pluck.
If you peel back his surface, there’s not a next layer.
All out for himself, he’s not a team player.
When it comes to friendship, he hasn’t a clue.
He’ll ask for a favor, but will he help you?
It’s not likely for when it is time to repay you,
you’ll usually find he was just out to play you.
So get rid of this fellow—this slick opportunist.
It’s best if done quickly, in fact at the soonest.
How to get shed of this ultimate jerk?
Just produce a shovel and ask him to work.