I am not too fond of this peculiar guy
who seeks an invitation to see my latest buy.
He barely fits the envelope of people I can bear,
for he is always scouting out possessions that are rare.
So it is with priceless antiques that he says are just old
and so he makes these propositions that are brash and bold.
When I replace this table with one brand spanking new,
he could haul off this old one for me (for a buck or two.)
He thinks I do not know the value of all that I buy
and so he reconnoiters with a greedy eye,
and when he sees an object that has seen a bit of wear,
he’ll focus on the object with his greedy stare
and say that when I’m done with it and go to buy another,
he could take my old one and give it to his mother.
Friends like this, I’m sure you’ll say, come a dime a dozen,
and I’d agree and shun him if he weren’t my only cousin!