Category Archives: humorous poem

Tall Tales: The Rest of the Story

Tall Tales: The Rest of the Story

It is my conjecture that you’re given to embellish
all of your old stories that you recite with such relish.
Your lyrical relation at such volume and such length
has informed us of your valor, your virility and strength.

Your life stories, meant to guide us, seem to form a primer for
how to conduct a perfect life behavior but what’s more,
should tell us about settlements and suits that might occur
because in spite of all the truths you proclaim and aver,

folks with all the answers can be a pain to bear—
the sort that former comrades want to get out of their hair.
So former wives and partners might seek to find surcease
by divorce or severance of contract or of lease.

So, after you have told your tales of glory at your leisure,
will you tell your tales of suit, foreclosure and of seizure?
If there’s a moral to the story, I have to say that it’s
that those who tell the longest stories tend to leave out the best bits.

Prompt words for today are: guide, conjecture, lyrical, relish and settlement. Image by Camila Quintero on Unsplash.

Poor Sport

 

Poor Sport

From the Rockies to the Tetons, I’ve avoided climbing rocks.
They crumble as I climb them and wind up in my socks.
I do not like their labyrinths that make you find a way
to snake up on their surface without a game of play.
Don’t expect me to climb mountains. Don’t even think to ask.
I’ll sit here in the shade and watch and sip upon my flask!

 

Prompts for today are labyrinth, snake, flask and Tetons.

That’s me back in 1973. I didn’t climb mountains then, either. You can tell by the shoes. This was taken in Lalibela, Ethiopia, a very mountainous place. Didn’t make any difference. I flew in on a tiny plane  and  rode a mule up one or two. That’s as far as I went.

Mr. “Do It Myself”

Mr. “Do It Myself”

The manifold reasons I love you are these.
Though you puff and you pant and you groan and you wheeze,
recruiting much help from your back and your knees,
nonetheless, my piano you managed to squeeze
up the stairs to the tower, saying it was a breeze.
So as I snap a photo, be sure to say, “Cheese,”
then promise me, dear, for I’m down on my knees.
If we move it again, hire a moving crew, please!!!!

 

 

 

Prompt words today are recruit, piano, manifold and tower.

A Tyke Named Stormy

A Tyke Named Stormy

He’s not your standard toddler. He’s a variant of the norm.
On rainy days he’d rather be out in the raging storm,
splashing through the mud puddles on his trusty trike
or trudging through small rivulets on a block-long hike.

When standard kids all huddle inside beside the fire,
he loves to face the bracing wind and plod through muddy mire.
I’d say he’s climate versatile. He’s game for any weather.
He likes to be out in the wild, free from any tether.

Most kids aren’t predictable, but this one surely is.
At dealing with bad weather, he surely is a whizz.
If any person can predict, I think for sure I can.
Some years hence, I think he’d make a perfect weatherman!

Prompt words today are versatile, standard, hike, hence and variant.

Innovation Blues: Same But Different, Mar 19, 2022

 

Innovation Blues

Every  new thing I attempt
is met with all the world’s contempt.

I rush about, but still I tend
to fall back down as I ascend.

The lake of tears leaked from my eyes,
my arid life cannot revise.

I never seem to have the knack
to learn what skills I seem to lack.

So woe is me, though well-rehearsed,
each new attempt is promptly cursed.

 

For the Same but Different prompt, Christine wants us to use not the following words,

  1. try
  2. dash
  3. climb
  4. pool
  5. change

but synonyms for them. Fun prompt!.

Forgotten Words

 

Forgotten Words

Sometimes a certain word just doesn’t clink.
It doesn’t fit in in the place where we think.
It’s not in our lexicon. We can’t remember.
Not only won’t spark. There’s not even an ember
of inspiration to trigger a thought.
We only remember what it is not.

What could be therapeutic at bringing it in
from where it’s been ostracized. What about gin?
A good stiff martini might loosen our brain
and help us remember what it means again.

It hangs somewhere in back like a not-much-worn pendant,
covered up by more popular, less independent
words more ubiquitous, used every day.
More popular, funny and modern and gay.

But somewhere in the shadows, in the back of our mind
are words we’ve forgotten of the long-ago kind,
ready to pop out in most unlikely times
when we’ll use them in novels and stories and rhymes.

Then they’ll shake out their wrinkles and rub off their rust
And rejoin the world, leaving footprints of dust
in the minds of all readers, who for sure when they read them
will use them again when they happen to need them.

Prompts today are clink, lexiconostracize, independent and  therapeutic,

The Comforts of Age

Click on photos to enlarge.

The Comforts of Age

My Donnybrook days of parties and fairs,
of baltering frolics in passionate pairs,
are primarily over. Instead of wild rioting,
I spend my weekends just grousing and dieting.
What has replaced my past jubilation?
I hate to admit it is blessed hibernation.

Prompts today are Donnybrook, balter, grouse, primary and  hibernate,

A Too-Modest Proposal


A Too-Modest Proposal

Even though your offer is accompanied by a gift,
I think it’s fairly certain an acceptance won’t be swift.
Your statement is made bluntly without obvious affection,
as though you’re in a restaurant ordering a confection.

You’ve made a conscious effort to be proper and polite,
yet there’s naught in your proposal calculated to excite.
If you have hopes for any love affair to start,
it’s clear you need a lesson in opening your heart.

Prompt words today are acceptance, swift, statement, conscious and offer. Image by Ospan Ali on Unsplash.

Cruel Fate


Cruel Fate

If you want aggravation, she’s a candidate for giving it.
If you have a seat picked out, it’s sure to be the place she’ll sit.
Encroaching on your comfort is how she gets her kicks.
Any plans that you suggest, for sure are ones she’ll nix.

She’ll likely raise your dander, whatever choice of topic.
Her taste in politics and art? Impossibly myopic!
And if you harbor any hopes that you won’t have to see her,
you can blame cruel fate that your next blind date will be her!

 

Prompt words today are harbor, raise, aggravation, encroach and candidate. Image by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash.

Zoe the Despoiler

Zoe the Despoiler

My little canine daughter is inimitably bold.
She cannot be deterred by a censure or a scold.
When her goal is purloined plastic bags or Yolanda’s mop,
it does no good to tell her that it’s time for her to stop.
She browses for the perfect thing for her to steal,
then if it seems it will not make a satisfying meal,
it might be good for chewing, so she’ll add it to her stash.
Not one of us is equal to her thirty meter dash.
She thrives on such purloining. Can we blame it on her age?
With luck, it’s a preliminary temporary stage!!!

Prompts today are inimitable, little, browse, thrive and daughter. Just like any toys that make their way out of her bed, Zoe was intent on dragging her new mop toy back to her favorite place of repose.

 

 Click on photos to enlarge.