Southern Exposure

Although my north end’s fully cloaked,
when rain clouds come,  my south gets soaked.
I guess the fault is really mine.
The raincoat that I bought, size nine,
that I insisted would fit fine,
combined with excess when I dine
means that though it swathes my seat,
the buttons in the front don’t meet
the holes they’re meant to go into
no matter what my fingers do.
That’s why my front side’s sorta soggy
when the weather ends up foggy.
If you approach me from the back,
I swear, you won’t see any lack.
You’ll only see my dripping clothes
If we meet up nose-to-nose
I just can’t get myself together
to protect myself in stormy weather.

The prompt word today is “exposure.”