Tag Archives: humorous poem

Dinner Party Snafu–a Sonnet for NaPoWriMo 2019, Day 27

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Dinner Party Snafu

That tiny jar of olives on the shelf
called out to me to add them to my list
carefully planned by no one but myself
and yet, it’s true that I could not resist.

To add to salad, plotted from the first
to blend so perfectly into the meal
to whet the appetite and prompt the thirst
for my perfect wine-soaked succulent veal.

Who knew that bottle would be so well sealed
that it would remain steadfast to my grip?
meanwhile, the veal course cooled and congealed
as I used armpit, hand and tooth and lip

to try to budge those olives from their jar,
to spill them onto salad quickly wilting.
My guests called out for dinner from afar,
their hunger-weakened voices softly lilting.

Thus do dinner plans oft turn out Hellish
due to starter courses we can’t relish!


http://www.napowrimo.net/day-twenty-seven-5/

Premature Departure

Premature Departure

In this lackluster party,
even the guacamole’s gray!
It’s not the proper ending
to an equally dull day.

The secret of good parties
lies within their zing.
Who enjoys a party
that never quite takes wing?

The soda pop has all gone flat,
The wine being decanted?
Everyone who tasted it
thereafter soon recanted.

From this dreadful party,
we all beg prompt respite.
What could possibly happen
to address our stressful plight?

I’ve wasted this new outfit
that makes me look so thin,
for it’s identical to one
 our party giver’s in!!

The music is all polkas
and the orchestra’s off-key.
What will be the next disaster?
I cannot bear to see.

I see that last thought’s irony
as I flick off the light,
grab my coat, slip out the door,
and vanish in the night.


The prompt words today are identical, respite, lies and lackluster. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/rdp-saturday-identical/
FOWC with Fandango — Respite
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/your-daily-word-prompt-lies-april-27-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/lacklustre/

New Girl

New Girl

Her turnover in boyfriends is no subject for debate.
They stand outside her classroom door or by her locker wait.
An entire roster of males stands by, perchance to win a date.
There seems to be not one young man loathe to participate.
And though less pretty classmates tend to excoriate,
secretly, each schoolgirl longs to share her fate.

The world is full of femmes fatales: Naomi, Audrey, Kate.
By their very presence they seem to addlepate
every male within their sight, to stir and titillate.
Seemingly unknowingly, they dangle the right bait
that sets the most attractive men into a frenzied state.
It is as though they’re put on earth just to procreate!

There is no power on this earth to which I can equate
the power of these ladies to attract a mate.
If they knew the secret, they perhaps could educate
other women to allure so every man could sate
his passion for a lover at a faster rate,
so the world’s supply of spinsters could more rapidly abate!

 

 

The word prompts today are wait, turnover, participate and world. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/rdp-monday-wait/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/15/fowc-with-fandango-turnover/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/your-daily-word-prompt-participate-april-15-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/world/

Tweeting Kim Kardashian

Tweeting Kim Kardashian

I recall that picture, but you’ve modified it some.
I fear it’s rather naughty to photoshop your bum!!!

Prompt words are recall, picture, modify and naughty. Here are the links:

https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/14/fowc-with-fandango-recall/
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/rdp-sunday-picture/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/your-daily-word-prompt-modify-april-14-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/naughty/

“The Fix”

“The Fix”

–a difficult or awkward situation from which it is hard to
extricate oneself; a predicament.
“how on earth did you get
into such a fix?”
predicamentplightdifficult a, difficult situation, awkward
situation, spot of trouble, bit of bother, corner,
ticklish/tricky situation, tight spot
–a dose of a narcotic drug to which one is addicted.
   “he hadn’t had his fix.”

Although you assure me you are strictly on the level,
your very need to do so makes me think you are the devil.
I find your ethics tenuous, they’re there and then they vanish.
Your motives start out lily white but end up rather tannish.
You’re fine at razzle-dazzle. You expertly shoot the breeze.
You flatter and finagle, you smile and flirt and tease,
but have you really done the job or were you merely acting?
Is your expertise for real or merely reenacting
what you saw in movies or surveyed on the TV?
Has fiction finally managed to replace reality?

Did you get your medical knowhow from college texts you’ve read,
or learn your bedside manner viewing Chicago Med?
Do you really know the way to set a joist or beam?
Can you really hem a skirt or sew an even seam?
Do you know how to fix my brakes, change oil and do a lube
or did you merely look it up last night on You Tube?
TV is our Bible and whatever we may view
becomes the thing it is okay to become or do.
We put our idols in office, be they hero, fool or rogue.
What is most entertaining becomes what is in vogue.

Why has the world fallen into this state of dereliction?
Simply because we cannot—distinguish fact from fiction!!!

The words of the day are dazzle, tenuous, breeze and level. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/rdp-monday-dazzle/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/08/fowc-with-fandango-tenuous/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/your-daily-word-prompt-breeze-april-8-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/level/

The NaPoWriMo prompt today was to write a poem based on a slang word or phrase or acronym specific to a certain job. Hmmm. That’s a corker!!! Mine seems to work on so many different levels lately, but particularly when it comes to politics.

Why Me? NaPoWriMo 2019 Day 2

 

Why Me?

Today I have the doldrums. My smile is upside down.
I cannot go to meet my cronies in the town.
My misery is absolute, I’m coughing and I’m sneezing,
and all this blowing of the nose is definitely unpleasing.

My bones could use some stretching, but I fear this will not be,
and Sandy, Harriet and Glen today I will not see.
I’ll try to talk to Gloria on the telephone
explaining why it’s best today that I am alone.

Why in fifteen minutes, as they shoot the  breeze.
will I be forced to lie abed, to blow my nose and sneeze?
Almond croissants and coffee and congeniality
are theirs while I am sentenced to echinacea tea!

The world just isn’t fair, my friend. I’m such a sorrowful wretch.
The only pleasure left in life to lie here and to kvetch!
It is life’s  idiosyncrasy that nine times out of ten
when I most want to paint the town, instead I must stay in.

What master of the universe sees that such a function
turns out to be a flop as a method of conjunction
with busy friends  that for two months I haven’t seen together
and in the one time we can meet, keeps me on such short tether?

 

The prompt words today are stretch, idiosyncrasy, absolute and upside. In addition, the NaPoWriMo prompt for today is to write a poem that ends in a question. Here are links to all:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/rdp-tuesday-stretch/
FOWC with Fandango — Idiosyncrasy
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/your-daily-word-prompt-absolute-april-2-
2019/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/upside/
NaPoWriMo 

Green Cuisine

 

Christine Goodnough knows me so well. When she issued this challenge, she probably knew I’d not only do her bidding, but exceed it.  Here is her challenge:

I enjoyed your poem very much. However, it did set my mind to whirling, especially the part about ugly words having a charm of their own. So here are a few…er…unique words. And since it’s April, they’re green. I challenge you to whip up a poem with three of them. 😉

chlorophyll
fettuccine
poison ivy
rosemary
parakeet

Greenland

Yes, of course I used not only three but all of them.  Overachievers never grow up, after all.

Green Cuisine

Since my parakeet moved to Greenland, green things are all he’ll eat,
so cuisine without much chlorophyll is sure to meet defeat.
He’ll eat poison ivy and rosemary and dill.
Basil with fettuccine is welcome in his bill.

But just plain yellow birdseed is a taste he’d never pick.
He prefers green tea ice cream even though he cannot lick.
His speed devouring veggies is the fastest I have seen
so long as I remember that those veggies must be GREEN!!