The questions for this week are:

1. What is rubella?  It is what Bella’s husband learned to do too late in the game, after he’d already married her. 

2. What is Winter Fever more commonly known as?  Cold sweats.

3. What is Scrofula? ‘S Count Dracula’s pet Crow.

4. What is Grippe? The present tense of Groppe.

5. What is Quinsy? A state of whimsy brought on by the consumption of too much quince wine.

6. What is St Vitus Dance? It is what they renamed the road that ran along the edge of the San Andreas fault after the last big earthquake.

7. What is Dropsy? The eighth dwarf, seldom seen in public.

8. What is Croup? The inedible remnants of a bowl of soup consisting mainly of soggy  croutons.

9. What is Ague?  A gue is one-half of two gues.

10. What is Apoplexy?   Consternation  brought on by the constant updating and altering of computer applications. (Or, if you were from South Dakota, seizures brought on by an over-indulgence in Coca-Cola, but otherwise you might not understand this one.)

For Fibbing Friday, June 23, 2023

Here are this week’s questions:

What can you make with saw dust and snow?

Dusty the Snowman

2. What did the mole say to the wart?

Want to meet me at Wolemart?

3. Why is Atlantis lost?

GPS hadn’t been invented yet.

4. Why have Earthlings not returned to the moon?

No McDonalds

5. Why is the Earth round?

Because it’s not cool to be square.

6. Why are potato chip bags always half-full?

Because husbands are sent out to buy them.

7. What happens to lost socks?

They go to singles bars and pair up with somesock new.

8. Why do people stub their toes on furniture?

Because they walk on their feet. If they walked on their hands, they’d stub their fingers.

9. Who will be the next President?

Whoever can promise the biggest tax cuts to the nation’s multibillionaires.

10. Where did Trump come from?

The gods were playing bridge for high stakes and no one bid no Trump!!!

11. How will Trump’s administration end?

In Hell, hopefully.

12. How do clouds suddenly appear in the sky?

Because they long to be close to you.

13. Why does the universe revolve?

It’s on vacation–just taking a spin around its block.

14. If Time Lords are real, then why haven’t we met any yet?

It isn’t time yet.

15. What is a zombie’s favorite food?

Zombilaya.

For Fibbing Friday, June 16

For Fibbing Friday, the Questions (and my answers) are:

1. You wanted to book a trip to Athens, but the agent misunderstood you…where did they send you?   There was a bit of a spacing error in my request, so they sent me to a poultry farm to look at hens!

2. What will customs agents find in your luggage? My misplaced breakfast sandwich. It was a very early flight!

3. What do you sneak aboard the flight, and what do you sneak it in? My pet snake. I sedated it,  wound it around my waist, gently closed its teeth round its tail and wore it as a snakeskin belt.

4. The plane crashes — everyone survives — where did you crash? In my in-flight dream. 

5. What are three things you find at your crash site? The drink the stewardess delivered to my tray table as I slept, the end of the movie I was watching when I fell asleep and that we had arrived at our destination.

6. What is the first thing you do when you get back home? Check to see if my house sitter ate all of my Costco Vanilla ice cream!!!!

7. The airline offers you money, but you turn it down…what do you get instead? My head examined.

8. You decide that a cruise is safer. Where do you go? Along the Ukraine coast via the Bermuda Triangle.

9. Sadly, you get marooned on a deserted island but find huts and scientific equipment made out of coconuts…what do you do? Look for the trees the scientific equipment came from. I’m hungry.

10. A fishing boat rescues you, but you have to pay Poseidon for safe passage…how do you pay? Trident gum.

11. He rejects your fare and throws you across the world…you land safely, but where do you end up?  I Fallon Nevada. 

12. How does your story end? THE END!!!!

The assignment: Here are some familiar words but can you make up new definitions for them?

1.   Silicone–a dunce cap
2.   Fluff–a polite word for a gentle fart
3.   Loofah–Scandinavian exclamation or interjection used to express dismay over having to clean the bathroom
4.   Caddy–An eight-year-old rude man in training
5.   Pedantic–funny foot movements while dancing
6.   Tangent–A polite male tourist on a bus back from the beach who gave up his seat to an elderly woman.
7.   Muffler–The mother of a crying baby.
8.   Calamity–Aphids in the Calla lilies
9.   Archive–A cat about to assume its most threatening (and threatened) hump-backed position.
10. Fortify–a poorly-constructed (iffy) structure of defense.

For Fibbing Friday Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

Put the cloves individually into the roller

Here are the Fibbing Friday questions for this week:

1. What is rolling stock? Cattle after they’ve been loaded onto train cars and the train is in motion.
2.  What is a rolling deck ?  A convenient place for rolling doobies on your lap during a poker game.
3.  What is role play ? When actors mess around instead of learning their lines.
4.  What is ‘on a roll? Caraway or sesame seeds, unless it’s a cinnamon roll, in which case it would be frosting.
5.  What does a rolling stone gather?  Carsick groupies.
6.  What is a rolling boil? Whole crab served on a train.
7.  What is a rolling pin? A really bad bowling score.
8.  What is a steam roller? A passé method of curling one’s hair.
9.  What is a roller coaster? A round disk meant to be placed under your drink that has been positioned vertically rather than horizontally.
10. What is a roller skate? A beached fish.