Tag Archives: silly poem

Headline News

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Headline News

I think for a week or two that I will remain
tucked away within the walls of my own domain.
That I made the headlines was flattering, more or less,
but the fact that I’ve turned sexy was a misprint, you might guess.
Still, so many have indulged their need for jokes at my expense
that I have had to seize this means to come to my defense.
Though my physical condition is healthy, fit and agile,
I find my sense of humor is becoming rather fragile.

It is “sixty” I turned yesterday, not “sexy” as reported.
Years have passed since I was so venereally comported.
My past generosity in spreading love around
I left back in the sixties and since then I have found
that piety becomes me, so I’ve trod another path,
thus, you’ll understand my embarrassment and wrath
at what some find as funny and so I took the action
of insisting that the paper issue a retraction.

But the form of their retraction, I must say, I found unkind.
The headline I’m not sexy was not what I had in mind.

Prompts today are.: domain,  indulge, agile, misprint and  generous,   Image by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash.

Fleeced and Avenged

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Fleeced and Avenged

When first my antagonist burst upon the scene,
he was an enterprising human sales machine.
I was his favorite client, an accomplishment for sure—
innocent and gullible and open to the lure.
I had little experience foreshadowing the end.
No idea at all what lay waiting ’round the bend.
But I fear his achievement was unduly brief,
because Daddy called the sheriff, declaring him a thief.
Now he’s living in the jailhouse and his board and room is free.
He’s living on the county now—not on little old me!

 

Today’s prompts are achievement, foreshadow, antagonist, enterprise, burst and accomplishment.  Image from Pinterest.

Kangaroo Coup

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Kangaroo Coup

I scored a knockout in Kentucky against a kangaroo.
Before he aimed his kick at me, I simply staged a coup.
I could have killed with kindness, but  I chose not to do it
because I knew that if I did, I’d very likely rue it.

 

For A Letter A Week: The Letter “K”
Image by Graham Holshausen on Unsplash.

Place – kentucky

Emotion – kindness

Adjective – knockout

Verb – kick

My animal – kangaroo

“To Do”

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My real “To Do” pile!!!
See this ‘to do” list? Does it happen to have feeding time on it?

Click on photos to enlarge and read commentary.

“To Do”

My networking agenda is getting rather full,
and I feel much-encumbered by its towering pull.
File after file lined up row on row,
I encounter my “to do” pile everywhere I go.

If I were more resourceful, I would have got them done,
Instead I follow other paths and thus accomplish none.
My list grows longer by the day, yet I ignore its flow
streaming off my desktop onto the floor below.

If I allow defection and follow unplanned whims,
wasting time in tidepools and swinging off of limbs,
what do I care if niftier friends do as their lists insist.
There’s more to life than what I’ve written up on any list.

 

Prompt words for today are : nifty, resourceful, network, list, encumbered, flow.

Cattails

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Click on photos to enlarge.


Dogs and Cats

My dogs are fun and gnarly and love to leap and play.
Often their wild antics are the climax of my day.
They love to solve dilemmas such as who is passing by
by raising choruses of barks and howls up to the sky.
But when it comes to relaxation, my kitties take the cake.
Their main activity, the patterns that their cattails make.

For Zoe’s response to this subject, go here: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/illgm2yxMfg

Prompts today are cattail, climax, dilemma, cake, gnarly .

Family Heirlooms

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Family Heirlooms

It’s apparent I’m replaceable. At least it is the shout
that you moved in my replacement as soon as I moved out.
I hope that you remember as you stroll down your new path
that your former roadway contains an aftermath.

The heirlooms of our marriage include three children who
don’t share my intention of divorcing you.
They need a proper father and you’re the only one
licensed to address them as daughter and as son.

On the heirloom ring you gave me on our wedding night,
the chimera of your family crest really wasn’t quite
appropriate, though made of gold polished shiny bright,
An ass head on a serpent’s body would have got it right!

 

Prompt words today are apparent, replaceable, aftermath, chimera, proper and heirloom.

Mr. Universe in the Old Age Home

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Mr. Universe in the Old Age Home

His life was lovely and bucolic
prior to his anabolic
stage wherein he played the game
of dosing up to gain a name

and a media barrage
descended on the small garage
where he went to lift more weight
than once he could anticipate.

His life became a mad mirage
of barbells, steroids —a barrage
of contests wherein he competed,
going largely undefeated—

a staircase leading to that time
when he, unchallenged and sublime,
ruled without apology,
a miracle of morphology.

Everybody knew his name.
A survivor, fit, top of his game,
in time his will began to flag
and everything began to sag.

His muscles gone to atrophy,
he is not what he used to be.
His bod of steel reduced to puddle,
he is more comfy now to cuddle,

and so he finds at an old age
that happily, he’s still the rage,
for the old ladies that he hustles
still want to feel his former muscles.

 

Prompts today are game, apology, survivor, bucolic, staircase and mirage.

Winter Adventure Tour, for the Sunday Whirl Wordle 555

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Winter Adventure Tour

That first chilling sound of the ice’s warning crack
and that slithery pinprick feeling of ice water down your back
are sure to leave you feeling disturbingly distraught.
This is more of an adventure than the one you sought.

It’s the sort of trip you’d like to banish from your thoughts,
one devoid of “wants “and stuffed full of the “nots,”
yet it plays against your eyelids with a frequency you’d like
to round up in your head and tell to take a hike.

Your tour guide? He’s a rascal and they ought to string him up.
He’s a weasel, he’s a rat and he’s a mangy low-down pup.
They should brand him as a felon, this king of thoughtless vice
for selling you an outing to skate on such thin ice!!!!

The prompt words are pinprick slithery chilling distraught felon string yet banish lid trip with miss   For Sunday Whirl Wordle 555  Image by Hans Isaacson on Unsplash.

Evening Rush Hour Bus Ride

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Evening Rush Hour Bus Ride

Only one seat left, so I thrust myself within it,
beating out another boarding passenger to win it.
Adjusting all my packages, I didn’t chance to look
at my seat mate, for her face was buried in a book.

I used a lull in traffic to begin a conversation,
but was cut off by the bite of her brutal tongue’s serration.
She sputtered without compromise or mercy or a pause
about what she surmised were my weaknesses and flaws.

Her words sprayed out in spittle, unceasing in their venom.
She criticized my hairdo and my shoe size and my denim.
Not a thing about me pleased her. She was brutal in her spiel.
Had I considered a diet? Was my hair color for real?

At the very next bus stop, I finally took flight.
Miles from where I sought to go, I fled into the night.
It must have been a curse or bad Karma or a hex
that I would end up in a seat next to my boyfriend’s ex!!!

 

Prompts for today are traffic, compromise, flight, serration, spray and please. Image by Annie Spratt on Unsplash.

Implausible Proposal

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Implausible Proposal

You know, that ring that you were hurling
that landed in the sink,

set the water swirling
 as it landed with a clink,

then elected to go curling
into inky depths below,

its extemporaneous whirling
too fast to see it go?

I admit it was just sterling,
and yes, the diamond fake.

It’s zirconium or pearling
for the money that I make,

because more expensive girling
is not a piece of cake.

So, if you want me for my money,
better find another guy.

What I offer to my honey
is not something I can buy!

Prompts for today are ink, extemporaneous, sterling, nigh, elect and yes.