Tag Archives: unsolicited advice

Unsolicited Advice

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Unsolicited Advice

With buckets of advice and a blizzard of suggestions,
and prolific answers to all of life’s great questions,
he blusters and pontificates and tells us how to live
with advice he never follows, but which, nonetheless, he gives.

He imparts his wisdom to everyone he meets:
from how to run your business to your life between the sheets.
Advice on morals, love and sex (all in his domain)
make even brief encounters such a royal pain.

You know he’ll scratch his whiskers and open up his yap
and once again you will be caught in his vocal trap.
And so you’ve found that at first sight, you must avoid detection
by altering your footsteps to an alternate direction.

Prompt words today are whiskers, sheet, prolific, bluster, bucket and blizzard. Image by Roberto Quezada on Unsplash.

Unsolicited Advice

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Unsolicited Advice

I don’t like to criticize,
but, darling, do you think it wise
to wear those pants that emphasize
your long life of no exercise
and those big Macs with extra fries?

It is a choice I don’t advise,
for though you have such pretty eyes,
and face like poets eulogise,
your tucked-in blouse does not disguise
a figure Rubenesque in size.

It’s true Kim K. was aggrandised
by buttocks that were super-sized,
augmented and eroticized,
without a doubt romanticized
and surely over-publicized.

But still, dear, must you advertise
that derriere to all the guys?
Unless you’re set to capitalize
on spreading butt and super-thighs,
might I suggest a larger size?

The prompt today was criticize.