Tag Archives: Yolanda Stories

A Simple Solution for SOCS Aug 16, 2025

DSC08473I found five old passports and an international driving permit from 1986.
Why, oh why can I not find my current passport?


A Simple Solution

An extra hour would be nice. A day’s not long enough.
I know I’d use the extra hour looking for lost stuff!
My passport has gone missing and it’s been a major pain.
I would give most anything to have it back again.
I’ve looked in all my files, my drawers and every purse.
I have too many places. It couldn’t get much worse.
If I ever find it, I’ve made myself a vow to
make my life much simpler, if I just could figure how to!

 

I actually lost my passport a few years ago. I looked for it for  4 or 5 hours without finding it, but  my housekeeper found it in 5 minutes when she came the next day––in a place where I’d looked twice!!! She lit a candle and said whenever I lost things I should do the same. She says her friend has a Virgin and Child statue, and whenever she loses anything, she takes the baby out of the mother’s arms and says she’ll return it when she has helped her to find whatever she has lost!! Talk about blackmail in high places! Ha. A simple solution.

The prompt for SOCS is “Simple.”

for RDP, Sept 17, 2024


“Why Don’t You Let Me Iron That for You?”

When there is a wrinkle, she works fast to smooth it out.
She loves to plug the iron in and move it all about.
Steam wafting all around her, she executes arm action.
She finds it scintillating dealing with each new infraction
of the rule that each garment should hang seamless and true,
without a single furrow dividing it from you.
She feels no reluctance in relieving clothes of wrinkles—
no puckers and no creases. No scrunches and no crinkles.
Because of her I’m faultless. My wardrobe is sublime,
for in Yolanda’s view, a wrinkled garment is a crime!

Yolanda has been my housekeeper, accomplice and friend for twenty years now. She rearranges my belongings, leaving little jokes, removes dust and fingerprints and generally rules the roost when it comes to the state of my house. In addition, neither I nor any houseguest can leave the house without meeting with her discerning eye. and if she spots a wrinkle, you can be sure she’ll whip the iron out and insist that it be dealt with. I’ve never yet won an argument to the contrary.

The Ragtag Daily Prompt today is Iron

Car Meets Wall: Fibs for Friday: July 21, 2023

Here are my answers to the words to define for Fibbing Friday, July 21, 2023:

  1. Fo-shizzle: The un-fo-tunate end to my housekeeper Yolanda’s first (and last) driving lesson—driving my car with me in the passenger seat.

  2. Crunk: Parking sound effect made during  Yolanda’s first/last driving lesson. (Said car having been parked head-on against a brick wall at a very rapid speed.)

  3. Booyah: My response once we had exited the car and saw that the car had in fact been totaled!!!

  4. Gnarly: Sound of an epithet expressed through gritted teeth.

  5. Outtie: How one could describe my wall  with a car (mine) jutting through it .

  6. Phat: Magnified one thousand times, the sound of a car hitting a brick wall.

  7. What’s Crackalackin? The sound of a shattered windshield as it releases and falls to the ground.

  8. Cowabunga: What I should have said instead of my actual statement as the car hit the wall.

  9. Ankle biters: A description of my teeth upon impact, before withdrawing them from where they’d come in contact with my lower leg.

  10. All that and a bag of chips. How I explained what was left of my wall after they’d removed the corpse of my car.

(No sympathy posts, please. This actually happened 3 years ago, so both the wall and I have recovered enough for me to laugh about it and be grateful neither of us was seriously injured, as you can see from the response above.)

Everybody Knows I: ‘The Night the Vet Died” for One-liner Wednesday

 

 

Although I live up on the mountain above the small town of San Juan Cosala, on Lake Chapala in Mexico, Yolanda, my housekeeper, is my information line to happenings in the pueblo. Lately, I’ve been going through a lifetime of journals–thoughts scribbled down in bound books small enough to carry in my pocket or purse, and this is what I discovered today, told to me by Yolanda  four years ago :  

“The night the veterinarian in the pueblo died, the dogs, they all howled, and the cats scratched in the dirt and on the wooden door frames with their claws—every cat and every dog in town—two days ago when his car crashed and he died.”

 

For Linda Hill’s “One-LIner Wednesday.Second photo of dog by Justinas Teselis on Unsplash. All other photos by me.

I am adding this story to my group of tales about San Juan Cosala told to me by various people. I am titling this group of stories told by word of mouth, “Everybody Knows”

“Why Don’t You Let Me Iron That for You?”


“Why Don’t You Let Me Iron That for You?”

When there is a wrinkle, she works fast to smooth it out.
She loves to plug the iron in and move it all about.
Steam wafting all around her, she executes arm action.
She finds it scintillating dealing with each new infraction
of the rule that each garment should hang seamless and true,
without a single furrow dividing it from you.
She feels no reluctance in relieving clothes of wrinkles—
no puckers and no creases. No scrunches and no crinkles.
Because of her I’m faultless. My wardrobe is sublime,
for in Yolanda’s view, a wrinkled garment is a crime!

 

Yolanda has been my housekeeper, accomplice and friend for twenty years now. She rearranges my belongings, leaving little jokes, removes dust and fingerprints and generally rules the roost when it comes to the state of my house. In addition, neither I nor any houseguest can leave the house without meeting with her discerning eye. and if she spots a wrinkle, you can be sure she’ll whip the iron out and insist that it be dealt with. I’ve never yet won an argument to the contrary.

Prompt words today are scintillate, smooth, waft, reluctant and fast.

Spirits in Mexico

Matt wants us to tell him a personal ghost story, and since I have a few of them, this is going to be a bonanza. Two (including the one below) I’ve told before in years past, but the third and upcoming one will be new to this blog.

Spirits in Mexico

Yolanda claims Grimmer’s ghost was here the morning she died and that it rang the bell over the door and when she and Pasiano went to see who it was, there was no one there.  Yolanda said her spirit rang the bell and walked out the door to go for a walk… That is what spirits do in Mexico.

Then I remembered 15 years ago when my neighbor Celia said she had seen my husband’s ghost walk up the steps to her house in a blue flame. Why didn’t she tell me at the time, I asked, and she replied that she hadn’t wanted to upset me.

I asked Yolanda if she remembered the time she stood with her arms out and wouldn’t let Grimmer go out the door until she let her press her very wrinkled shorts. We decided maybe this time Grimmer had escaped Yolanda’s exacting standards

Later on Monday, when I had spent hours looking for my credit card, Yolanda suggested I light a candle for the little triptych of San Antonio that I bought at the feria this year. (San Antonio is the finder of lost objects.)  I did so and the candle burned away completely to nothing, yet I never found my credit card.

If not the spirits themselves, at least the thoughts of spirits have been with us this week.

https://normalhappenings.com/2018/10/26/i-know-a-ghost-daily-inkling/

Lighting a Candle for San Antonio: Five Days, Five Photos, Five stories, Day 1

Five Days, Five Photos, Five Stories, Day 1

Lighting a Candle for San Antonio

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When I arrived home and found the candle burning next to the virgin of Guadalupe on the counter between my kitchen and dining room, I took a fast survey.  It wasn’t mother’s day as there was no photo of my mother next to it.  The celebration of the Virgin of Guadalupe was months away.  It wasn’t Dia de los Muertos.  What could this new conflagration represent?

I had left soon after Yolanda arrived in the morning. She had run out to the car with coffee in my go mug and a bottle of water.  Sweet Yolanda, who was half mother, half sister.  She had been helping me since I moved to Mexico fourteen years before: cleaning my house, bringing a local healer to my house when I was ill to “cure” me via massage, now and then bringing her babies for me to dance around my house as she cleaned or ironed or washed clothes.

We had a wonderful symbiotic relationship.  She made my house a home and relieved me from tedious tasks so I could write.  I was her chief bank and no-interest loan officer…loaning the money for their new house, more land, a new used car when theirs was totaled by a drunk with no insurance. She always paid me back, either via installments deducted from her salary or in lump sums sometime down the line.

Yolanda, Pasiano my gardener, their families and I went on short vacations together to the Guadalajara zoo or to see the wildflowers in Tapalpa, loading up my full-sized van to capacity. This happens in Mexico.  Your gardener and housekeeper become your extended family and you become theirs.

So it is that Yolanda occasionally sets me right in the world as well.  The first year I didn’t build a Day of the Dead altar for my husband, she queried.  “Oh, so you no longer miss your husband?”  I built a shrine.  On mother’s day, she was the one who moved my mother’s picture from the guest bedroom onto the counter next to the virgin and lit a candle.

What was the candle for this time?  I asked her on Wednesday, when she arrived for one of her three-times-weekly three hour sessions.  This time, Senora, it was for San Antonio.  He was the finder of lost things, and we had been searching in vain for weeks for the lost cord and microphone for my amplifier.  The bowl of water under the glass with the candle in it was to cool the glass so it didn’t shatter.

I had let the candle burn all day until I went to bed.  When Yolanda arrived two days later, she lit it again.  Then hours after her arrival as I still sat at my computer blogging my blog, she came into the room carrying a large Ziploc plastic bag.  It was the cord and mike!

“Where did you find it?”  I asked.

“It was in with the sheets,” she answered.

“We’ve been losing a lot of things lately,” I said.  “Remember when we looked for weeks for my bag of lost keys and I found them in the drawer with the light bulbs?”

“Yes,” she answered.  “And do you remember that I lit a candle that day as well?”

Let me say right now that I am not a religious person.  I don’t pray, although now and then in a really stressful situation, I will address the God of my youth.  But, I am coming to have faith in Yolanda.  When she tells me to light a candle, I do so. And I’ve never missed a Day of the Dead Shrine since her last reminder.

I was nominated by Irene Waters for this challenge.  You can see her first day’s submission HERE.

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