Once I was a candidate for gourmet school flunky,
sporting the dubious honor of number one food junkie.
But now I’m basically looking for a way to curb
my appetite for junk food in favor of superb
cuisine that suits the palates of gourmands and gourmets.
I’ll impress headwaiters with my knowledge of patés,
place orders for obscure foods that will startle and amaze.
Then I can claim my trashy choice in food was just a phase.