These were the only photos of family meals that I could find. I think we were always too busy eating to take photos! Click on photos to enlarge and read captions.
For Cave Wall’s Throwback Thursday, here are some more nosy questions about family meal rituals. I couldn’t pass up this one. This was my favorite Throwback Thursday ever. Such fun answering these questions.
Let’s start at the top of the day, breakfast! Did your family have a sit down breakfast or were you more grab and go? What beverages were served at breakfast? What was your favorite (and/or least favorite) breakfast meal? Our most frequent hot breakfast was corn meal muffins with butter and light Karo corn syrup or honey from the beehives on my dad’s land. Sometimes we had bacon to go with them and we always had orange juice. We had one of those old black castiron round waffle makers that had a star shape in the middle. It was used on top of one of the burners of the stove and you had to move it really fast back and forth to keep the waffle from burning. It took some time to make waffles for a family of five, though, so waffles were usually reserved for supper. My favorite meal. We sometimes had dollar-sized buttermilk pancakes with syrup or honey or scrambled eggs and bacon and toast for breakfast as well..or, it’s all coming back to me …Cream of Wheat or Coco Wheats!!! We never had oatmeal but always had boxes of dried cereal in the cupboard as well. Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes and Bran Flakes. I don’t remember eating them that often, but probably my dad did as he got up hours before we did to go out to the ranch so rarely had breakfast with us except on Sundays. He also loved to crumble the leftover corn meal muffins from our breakfast into a tall glass of milk and eat them with a spoon.
Did you snack before the mid-day meal? No because we were in school for most of the year and in the summer we were usually outside playing. Snacking was reserved for night time.
Lunch for most children was eaten at school with the exception of weekends, holidays, or summer vacation. At school, did you buy your lunch from the cafeteria, or did you pack lunch? In high school, were you allowed to leave school grounds during the lunch period? Everyone except farm kids whose parents had to drive them in to school in the morning went home for lunch. We lived directly across the street from the grade school and one block from the high school (two blocks when we built our new house) so walking home for lunch was no problem. Farm kids brought their own lunch. There was no school lunch program.
For times when you had lunch at home, was it sandwiches, leftovers, or a newly prepared meal? Lunch was called dinner in our little town and it was the main meal of the day since most of our dads were ranchers. It consisted of salad, vegetable, potatoes, meat and dessert.
The evening meal is usually the most formal meal in many homes. Did your family sit down together and enjoy the evening meal or were you more of a TV dinner in front of the TV family? We all sat down together for the noon meal and sometimes did at night, but we usually had leftovers or sandwiches–once we got TV, often in front of the TV.
How did your weekend meals differ from your weekdays? They didn’t. My dad worked so hard in the fields and on the ranch every day that he needed a big meal at noon. Sundays varied a bit as he usually didn’t have to go out to the ranch. We usually had chicken on Sunday. A big treat as beef was our daily fare. We never had fish.
Who did most of the cooking in your household? Did that person also do the meal planning and grocery shopping? Were you taught to cook or were you shoo’d out of the kitchen? My mother did all of the cooking and meal planning. My dad kept beef on the table as he was a cattle rancher and we had a huge freezer in the basement that was completely filled every time they butchered a cow. I loved to cook with my mother and knew how to make everything she made. When I got older, my friend Rita and I would bake cakes and cook–especially fried potatoes!!!! I did help my mother in the kitchen a lot.
Did you have dessert served at your meals? If so, what types? We had dessert every meal except for breakfast. My mother made the best cherry pie I’ve ever had out of the cherries from the 9 or so cherry trees we had in our backyard. Summers, my sister Patti and I were in charge of pitting the cherries and my mom filled what space was left in our huge freezer in the basement with cherry pies, so we had them until they ran out. She also made apple crisp and the best chocolate sheet cakes with boiled fudge frosting glaze that I’ve ever had. That frosting soaked into the cake, making it so moist, then formed a thin dark chocolate glaze on top. They were made from a Duncan Hines cake mix but were incredible!! She also made pineapple cookies that she frosted while hot so the frosting formed a glaze and ran down the sides. When she hadn’t baked, we had ice cream or ice cream cake rolls from the grocery store. Or Jelly rolls.
Who cleaned up after meals? Was it a shared responsibility between men/women, girls/boys or was it delegated based on gender? My mom would rest up after the noon meal with a book or take a little nap with our dog Scamp beside her on the couch and then come in and do the dishes later on after we all went back to school, but when I was 11, I started clearing the table and said, “Come on Mom, let’s do the dishes now so you don’t have to do them later.” After that , that was the tradition. My mother mentioned this years later long after I’d forgotten it. At night and for family dinners, we girls always did the cleaning up and dishes. One time I railed at my dad saying, “Dad, I have never seen you once wash a dish. I bet you don’t even know how, do you? He calmly put down his newspaper, got up out of his chair, walked into the kitchen, took a fork out of the sink, wiped it off with the sponge, rinsed it off, dried it and put in in the drawer. Then went back to his easy chair and resumed his perusal of the paper.
How about late night snacks? Okay or discouraged? Okay. We were always free to eat anything we wanted from the fridge or kitchen cupboards. A favorite was popcorn cooked in an old black metal square popcorn popper with a long neck with a wooden handle. We’d put in vegetable oil and popcorn and run it back and forth over the burner of the stove until it stopped popping. Then, into a big bowl and melted butter was poured over it, it was salted and dug into. Another late night snack was the ever-present vanilla or butter brickle or chocolate ice cream or orange sherbet. And.. with the entire cow and stacks of frozen cherry pies in the freezer in the basement, there was bound to be an entire big carton of ice cream sandwiches that my dad bought at the locker.
Were dining manners stressed in your household? No elbows on the table, no hats at the table, no belching, please, thank you, and may I be excused? The only rigid rule a meals was no singing at the table!!! It was my dad’s rule and I don’t know why. We were not forced to clean our plates and I only remember my mother once telling us we had to finish our vegetables. We ended up throwing them between the solid bench my sister and I sat on and the kitchen wall. For some reason my mother chose that day to move the bench out and clean behind it. We had run up to a friend’s house after lunch and my mother called up and told us to come home. Actually, though, we didn’t get in trouble. She thought it was funny and never made us clean our plates again. She did later tell us that she couldn’t figure out why she kept finding dried vegetables on the wall or floor behind our bench, so come to think of it that must not have been our first time pulling that trick.
Did you have occasions where you had large family gatherings for meals? What occasions? Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. My Aunt Stella, Uncle Ed, Grandma Jane, my two sisters and me, my mom and dad and Aunt Stella’s kids when they were still home, then my Cousin Jim, his wife Sharon and their three kids. Dad and Stella and Grandma would speak Dutch. I had a huge crush on my cousin Jim who was 12 or more years older than me and so I hung on his every word. When it came time for dessert, there would usually be at least three kinds: my Aunt Stella’s incredible lemon meringue pie, my mom’s pumpkin pie and either apple or cherry pie. When my Grandma was asked what kind she wanted, she’d always say, “A little of each” and so she, of course, always had the most pie of all.
Did you say grace or have a blessing before meals? Always, “We thank you Lord for this food that we are about to eat, and bless it to its intended use.” And at family dinners, my Uncle Ed would always gasp, “Ahhhhhh-men!” at the end. When I was a little girl, my parents finally figured out that I was saying “We thank you Lord for this food that we are about to eat and bless it in potatoes and juice!”
Now for the fun part. What dishes are you glad disappeared over the years? What dishes have you carried forward into your own home? I do not miss salmon patties or oyster stew (which only my dad ate, from a can, while the rest of us had canned chili.). We didn’t eat it out of cans, understand. We actually took it out of the cans, cooked it and ate it in bowl. One of our staples was ham and cabbage with boiled potatoes. I made it just last week and it was tasteless. I’m still adding ingredients trying to instill it with the flavor of my mother’s. I also use her recipe for meatloaf and she made the best steamed steak with onions and potatoes which neither my sister have been able to duplicate.
BONUS: Care to share any favorite family recipes? I wish I had the recipe for my mother’s ice cream custard. It was really flan cooked in a big rectangular cake pan with miniature marshmallows baked over the top but it was sooooo good. It was served cold with vanilla ice cream but we’d also have a dish served hot out of the oven and the ice cream would melt over it. It was so good. Sometimes with raisins, but we girls liked it better without. Maybe my sister Patti will read this and put the recipe in comments? Hint, hint.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
Ahhh – the memories – short form share, Breakfast always – biggest meal – lunch was as we could and supper together another big meal – lunch was served in cafeteria at school and we had to eat, cuz early days of being offered and mom remembered walking home/back or eating cold sack lunch on winter days (to far to walk home for lunch) and said, “it’s offered, we will support) – school lunch hamburger gravy over mashed taters/biscuits was never as good as hers – 😀 Grace said, usually, for supper, unless everyone so tired we just ate and cleaned up to go to bed – grace ‘bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies and bless the hands who provided/prepared it for us’ – …will stop – before I share, via ‘blogging’ in your comments section! 😀
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Probably many in larger towns couldn’t go home for lunch from school but my town was tiny. Around 800 people back then I believe. Now it is down to under 500 I believe.
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Population and # of businesses in my childhood town is different – population may have grown (within town limits) but not as big of biz district/call to those from outlying farm/ranch communities – as businesses quietly shut down and weren’t re-opened – so many things available to me/my parent’s children were in such stark contrast to their school days less than 20 years earlier – most I had to ever walk to get to bus was down our lane (5/8ths of a mile long) while my mother remembered being worn out walking to school (cuz no busses) for over a mile or more – all weather –
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No school buses in our county, at least. Folks had to drive their kids to school or in town everyone walked to school.
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It was such a pleasure to read your responses. So many of the things you wrote about were very familiar to me. Our popcorn was popped in a huge cast iron skillet with an ill fitting lid from another pot. I can still hear the sound the skillet sliding across the burner. Our cakes were iced with what we called “candy icing”. It was rich and luscious and would harden like fudge. I am so glad you took the time to respond. I feel like I just had a chat with an old friend.
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I can’t remember a “formal” breakfast growing up. Each of us stopped and got what was on the table. A common evening meal might have be LIVER and onions on grits. You (uplanders) may now know about grits. but it is is dried and cracked hominy, completely tastless so it must have something else to give it flavor.. Thus a strong meat, or some other. But it congeals over night and in the morning is more or less a solid, so is cut in slices and you soak it in egg much like french toast and fry it.. WOW something that you hated the night before, is a great breakfast next to what we called Pan Pedrue: “Lost Bread” and you know as “French Toast”. I’m getting hungry, will put this on the recipe for next week when a friend will be a house guest~!
A side note, when our crew moved into Plentywood Montana in the 60’s every Texas wife went into the only store in town and asked why they did not have GRITS. That poor store owner ordered a huge supply of grits and it arrived about the time that our crew moved on to another town. I often thought that the grits stayed on the shelf until the bugs got it.
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We used to have hominy. My mom was a southern girl. Not grits,though.
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There is something that I must add to my reply on Breakfast . We often do not give credit to the father of a family. He is off to work and puts food on the table. The raising of the children was the responsibility of the mother, only with his support. In my growing up years a man was not as likely to show as strong an emotion, even to the kids. That was just the way it was. But the great love was there in a different way, and it is too bad that we may only see it after it is too late. That is one thing that may have improved through the years, I know that my grandfather was even less of an emotional person when it came to hugs and showing affection, especially in public..
My dad got up first, before anyone else was awake, in the morning, he would build a fire in the stove, and may fix toasted biscuits or some other bread, but always the first thing was a large pot of strong Louisiana coffee.. He then fixed a small sweet cup of coffee au lait for each of us and went into where each of us were sleeping with a soft whistle which awoke us, handing us that hot cup of coffee. (even as a six year old). It was years later that I remembered what a fantastic way of starting our day as we all did.. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.. I wish I would have appreciated this and him more while he was still living. SAM
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I always remember my mom being home or taking us kids with her, other than medical emergencies (when she was sick) and she got up with Dad -Dad worked, out and about or at home, every day – I often went to work with him until I was old enough to start taking on my own work – (age 12).
If Dad fixed breakfast, lunch or packed lunches, when mom was sick/taking care of sick baby or up all night with the ill – eggs, bacon, fried egg sandwich, cheese with mustard sandwich, cheese and crackers or pork and beans that was spiced up and none of those ‘damn sweet beans’ 😀 as well as some kind of pork/beef fixed over the campfire ring outdoors –
If he had a long day planned that needed early start – he packed his lunch and ate breakfast at the cafe – My mom worked her entire life – but during the years the ‘kids’ were young, she didn’t work outside of the home for others – except in community/neighbor support places –
But always, always, I hear my Dad saying to me, over the years – and especially when he showed up for my surgeries, after care/ride home, when mom was working her ‘after the kids raised’ career and was off to training, conferences, etc., or when I struggled with the overwhelm of being a single parent, or working mom, or working mom/wife to one who’s career/scheduling/income took precedence over my work/daily schedule – –
“I could never have done what all I did, if your mom hadn’t been holding down the home front”
“ahh – sis – it is sad, but when ya keep a nice home/put nice meals on the table, folks just get used to it – and forget to say thank you – never say anything at all, except when it isn’t as they expect – then they say something – I confess, I never noticed the house at all – until it wasn’t as expected, then I wanted to know what was wrong – sad, but true – we all take each other for granted here and there – not fair, not right – we just get loved/taken care of so well, we forget just how that all gets done….”
“Well – I wasn’t there for you kids, or changing diapers or walking the floor in the middle of the night as much as your mom did – I just figured the best I could do was work as hard as I could so your mom could be home, take a nap during the day when the baby/sick child did – ”
Everyone in a family has their part to play – including pets/kids – no matter their age, to me – and yet – when a ‘family/home’ is working at full steam – and everyone at their best? So easy to forget, exactly, what the other folks are doing to make it happen – to forget to say thank you – to show appreciation for the daily routines that just ‘get taken care of’ without a thought – freeing each person up to go do ‘their job’ for today – best as they can –
Sorry so long – but I SOOO was impacted by your comment – I remember this too – always did – just because – it was demonstrated and verbalized early on, and often – by those who raised me – Dad & Mom, both – even in the hard times when they didnt see eye to eye – ❤
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On your x flower I tried three times to post x-factored xerophytes – WP wouldn’t have it
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You tried as a comment and WP x’d it out????
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They just wouldn’t post it – as is happening quite a lot
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It is on my blog as a comment, Derrick, so it worked. Look on my blog and you will see it.
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Great pics, wonderful memories.
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You answer this prompt in every blog!!
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Thank you, kind lady!
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I got the rest of the ingredients for vinegared meat balls.. I think. Some I won’t find here such as the prune butter, but I do have the prunes. Yolanda cut up the onions for me. Is that cheating??
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I’ll tell you what real cheating is. You can make prune butter, but it is both time- and labor-consuming. That’s why I buy it, but when it’s nowhere to be found, I simply substitute blueberry or blackberry jam. Good luck!
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Thanks for joining in Judy. I think it’s sweet and the kids decided to help out Mom as an act of kindness. Ranching sounds like a difficult job for the man of the house.
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