Mismatched
By what draconian measures might you cure your spouse of snoring?
No amount of pushing, shoving, poking, shouting, roaring
will rouse him from his sleep, and it does no good to smudge him.
No pungent fumes from spruce or sage can do a thing to budge him.
As maddening as a girl might find a husband who is boring,
there is no match more irritating than one prone to snoring.
Prompt words today are it, spouse, draconian, spruce, push and pungent.
We’ll Be Having S’mores!
He’ll rid the cupboards of food he abhors
and refurbish them with the makings for s’mores:
marshmallows, Hershey bars and then for backers,
he’ll purchase a surplus of packs of graham crackers.
A triple pleasure, this snack is the star
of any snack found in packet or jar.
Let the unimaginative shop in stores
for pre-made snacks. He’ll be serving us s’mores!
Prompt words today are triple, unimaginative, marshmallow, refurbish, star, surplus. Photos by Autumn Mott and Jessica Rusce on Unsplash.
Cantankerous
Grandpa is displaying his usual disposition,
expressing all his anger with excessive exposition.
He’s feeling most litigious and says that all the dang
liberals and Democrats should be sentenced to hang!
To Hell with all the secrecy. Sound the fire sirens
and lynch all left wing voters found in our environs.
If it were up to him they’d draw and quarter, limb-from-limb
every gol-durn voter who does not vote like him!
Prompt words today are hang, litigious, secrecy, disposition, sound. Image by Charles Buchler on Unsplash.
Fiction, Dolly!!!!
Parting Manifesto
All the reasons you have vetted
(reasons I should feel indebted)
are reasons that I question, so,
I can’t accept your tales of woe.
Those monstrous acts you say I’ve done?
It is a fact that I’ve done none.
And all the things you say you’ve bought?
The fact is that I bought the lot!
Your bags are packed and by the door.
Load up that sports car you adore
and take yourself right down the road.
I’m closing up the mother lode!
For, though I’ll miss our hugs and smooching,
I won’t miss your constant mooching.
It’s time you joined the teeming mob,
got off your keister and got a job!!!!
Prompt words today are question, indebted, monstrous, like.
Christmas: A New Rendition
That the papers had a field day is totally explicable,
“Santa Stuck in the Chimney and for Hours Inextricable!”
So now he’s on a diet. No more cookies, no more milk.
He’s restricted to mere salads and others of their ilk.
He’s feeling way less boisterous. No more “Ho ho ho’s!”
So there’ll be fewer miracles in our stockings’ toes.
That year the Grinch stole Christmas just might be repeated
and socks hung on the mantel might have to be re-feeted.
Prompt words today are field day, inextricable, fireplace, boisterous, miracle and rendition.
Mosquito Bump Blues
This strain of mosquito is so sanctimonious
because it claims its droning is indeed harmonious.
According to their drone master, they drone in harmony
depending on their sting site: ear or arm or knee!
They’re trying to get a copyright on harmonies they’ve written
according to locations simultaneously bitten,
but alas they don’t write music so they cannot win the rights
to music just recorded by the pattern of their bites!
Prompt words today are mosquito, strain, sanctimonious, according, copyright. Image by Jimmy Chan on Pexel.
Avant Garde
I fear that this designer puts good taste to the test.
I’m flabbergasted at his color scheme and all the rest.
He is my boss, so if you will, kindly do not quote me.
The last thing that I need is for the fool to demote me.
In spite of any influence that I might have exerted,
It seems that in the end, the plans have all reverted
to the plans he started out with, so the building has been skirted
in lattice and in felt. Alas, it has been yurted!!!!
Prompts today are: rest, flabbergasted, designer, poise, quote and inserted.
Disgruntled
When I try to crack the whip and get the world in line,
somehow it turns fractious and starts to buck and whine.
Electrons turn to protons and refuse to whirl about.
The sun refuses to come out and stays inside to pout.
Berries stain my shirt front and seeds stick in my teeth.
Feral felines storm my bed and find solace beneath.
Friends offer consolation that is but a token.
There is little impact in the words that they have spoken.
If only things would go the way I’ve formed them in my mind,
there would be fewer problems in his daily grind;
but the world won’t listen and goes about its day
with very little interest in what I have to say.
No one will believe me when I say that I’ve evolved
to the point where the world’s problems I have mainly solved.
They go about their business like before I came along,
doing things without me and doing most things wrong.
They prefer those idiots who have run the Earth
slowly bleeding all of us as they increased their girth.
So until the world at large decides to meet my terms
and decide to love me, I guess I’ll go eat worms!!!!
Prompt words today are electron, token, fractious, impact, stain. I know I need a new disgruntled photo as I’ve maybe overused this one, but it’s a busy day and this one just seems to work, so….
Seasonal Bribery
Santa’s elves are in the workshop wrapping caramel kisses
to put in the stockings of little boys and misses
whose lofty thoughts are centered on baseball gloves and dolls—
hopes whispered into Santa’s ear in numerous city malls.
But my premonition is that though your needs are captivating,
there’s a likely chance that Santa’s been equivocating
about giving you the puppy that you’ve been asking for
every day and every night for a year or more.
I’ve heard Santa’s considering the possibility
that you might be lacking in responsibility.
Would you fill his food bowl and pick up puppy poop?
Would you train him not to raid the chicken coop?
Everything about a puppy is not cute and nice.
He might bring you baby birds or even wiggling mice!
Tear up favorite clothes you leave upon the floor,
chew up all your Barbie dolls and Teddy bears and more.
You’d have to learn to clean your room and put your things on shelves—
all the things observed by Santa and his elves.
Do your chores the first time requested by your mother.
If you can’t do your present chores, could you handle another?
It’s not too late to change your ways. Come help to dry the dishes.
Santa might be watching and decide to meet your wishes.
You have another month or two in which you could grow up
enough so you can handle caring for a pup!!!
Prompts today are caramel, workshop, premonition, lofty, responsibility, captivating.
Monolingual
Your language is not plain enough.
I do not get this “jibbing” stuff.
It angers me to have to look
these sailing terms up in a book.
Perhaps you are too lofty for
a small town landlocked jungle girl?
Prompt words today are jib, plain, anger, lofty, jungle.
Just for the fun of it, I wrote this poem line-by-line as I looked up the new prompt word without knowing what the next one was. I sort of got led down the proverbial password path!
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 