Tag Archives: reblog of my earlier post

Should I or Shouldn’t I? for Lets Hit Rewind, Sept 26

Should I or Shouldn’t I ?!

 

The word prompts today are inspire, surmount, enthralling, mistrust and today I’m adding Matt’s new prompt site to my inspiration list.  His command is that we invent a new punctuation mark and write a post inspired by it. What would you do if you were given four words and a situation and told to use them in a poem or story? You’d probably wind up with a poem as ridiculous as this one is!!

Should I or Shouldn’t I?!

I am plagued by indecision.
Should I choose that vain incision
leading to the skin division
that might lead to the derision
of those who might choose nature’s pace
written on their neck and face?

I must admit I do mistrust
those who deal with jowls and bust
by removing parts of them,
and so I hem and haw and hem.
As enthralling as it would be
to be confronted with less of me,

I can’t surmount the fear that I
would be the first face lift to die!
Or,  lovely as other ladies look,
I fear I’d end up in a book
of great disasters and that mine
would be a face most leonine!

Or if I had a chest reduction,
all the cutting and the suction
would lead to results most distressing.
What would happen, I am guessing,
is that the surgeon would have the gall
to leave me with no breasts at all!

If I had need to punctuate
a sentence that concerns my fate,
I think that it would culminate
with a mark that had a mate.
Although I am inspired to do it,
another part seems to eschew it,

?! would be the punctuation
designating consternation.
It’s what  I’d have to use until
I decide if I won’t or will.
Half of it anticipation,
the other half, my hesitation!

Cracking Open the Time Capsule: Sept. 14, 2016

This was my blog ten years ago on this date:

Absentee Ballot

For the past fifteen years, I’ve voted by absentee ballot in Mexico. This year I had particular problems with getting registered and thought I’d failed when suddenly, as if by magic, I received my absentee ballot via e-mail.  My good fortune, as I’m presently visiting in the states and I can just mail it in this year and it will get there in time!  So, I connected my laptop to my friend’s printer and pressed the “print” button.  This, truthfully, was the result.

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Absentee Ballot

When I  went to print the ballot out,
minutes later I had to shout
“Stop!!!!” when minute after minute
the printer always had more in it!
It printed out ream after ream
no end in sight—so it would seem.

To vote for president was simple,
but that just seemed to be a pimple
on the ass of all the choices
for which they sought to hear our voices.
Senators for state and nation,
congressmen, then more frustration:

water boards and State Assembly,
then measures ’til my hands grew trembly.
Statements by  candidates to rate,
endorsements, ballot measure debate,
instructions, warnings, declarations
occasioning more perturbations.

School bonds, statutes, legislation,
reeled out with no hesitation.
Tax extensions,cigarette tax,
laws that we were asked to axe.
School laws that were multilingual,
laws prophylactic, cunnilingual.

Initiatives on marijuana,
and fire protection made me wanna
rip my hair and cuss and scream.
Still out they rolled, ream after ream.
When I got to number sixty-seven,
it made me want to pray to heaven,

“Please, dear God, not one measure more
or I’ll soon be at heaven’s door!”
I gave the ballot one more poke
as with one sure determined stroke,
I banned the plastic bag, then broke
my pen over my knee–a joke,

for then another page popped out
as victory smirk turned into pout.
District initiatives, then county
made me rue this voting bounty.
For when I thought that I was done,
I discovered I had just begun.

Pages? Thirty-seven in all
are printed out, before they  fall
fluttering, onto my floor.
The printer burps, pops out one more.
“Oath of Voter” said this one.
And so I cussed.  And I was done!!!

 

 

Classic Material from Aug 11, 2018 Breaking Her Diet

Breaking Her Diet

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Breaking Her Diet

I measure her cat food with care from the vat,
but she has such an aptitude, my little cat
for flushing out lizards and others like that.
With delicate paw thrusts, she gives them a bat
’til they barely know where it is that they’re at,
then unleashes her claws for a more severe pat.

Be it lizard or bird or scorpion or rat,
she defeats it as though it were merely a gnat
and lays it out nicely on my front door mat:
one scorpion sting less or a feather for my hat,
then returns to the stool where she formerly sat,
licking her chops, and that’s why she’s so fat!!!

Paint Theory

Blast from the Past: Nine Years Ago Today “Sleight of Knees”

Sleight of Knees

IMG_7755doll by Louie Gann, jdbphoto

Sleight of Knees

When the circus clown was lauded,
marveled at, praised and applauded
for hanging from the high trapeze
for 24 hours by his knees,
though he was admired for his moxie,
it turns out it was just epoxy!

For Blast from the Past, here is a silly poem from july 15, 2017. I shared a house with Louie for two weeks at Cannon Beach, Oregon. in 2001 and still have her wonderful doll. It made the culling before my move to Mexico. Louis, if you see this, drop me a line…

For “Blast from the Blog” Some Little Bug Inside Me–a Reblog of a post from June 30 in 2018

Summer Evenings Turn to Fall for Blast from the Past!

WP has started sending out notices every day of all the blogs we have done on the same date (In this case, June 20) for the entire time we’ve been blogging.  In my case, I had posted 36 blogs on that date during the past 10 years. I’m sharing the oldest one, published in 2016.

Summer Evenings Turn to Fall

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Summer Evenings Turn to Fall

Back when we drank summer through paper soda straws,
we played at being cowboys, hiding out in draws
that we imagined wilder. Our hearts beat with fear
of fictional opponents who might be drawing near.

We had no euphemisms for our enemies.
We only knew our fear of them, silent, on our knees.
Little did we know then, during childhood games,
imaginary enemies would assume other names.

No ditch big enough to hide, and no night dark enough.
No more cops and robbers. No more blind man’s bluff.
Strange that in those peaceful times the games we chose to play
were a mere foreshadowing of what is real today.

Back when summer filled our cheeks with melons and with berries,
why didn’t we fill balmy nights with princesses and fairies?
Back when life was summer smooth, we lusted after roughness,
as though we’d gain maturity through violence and toughness.

Feigning valor not yet gained, we knew not that tomorrow
we’d have the fears we’d feigned for real––the terror and the sorrow.
Childhood evenings filled with shouts and laughter interspersed
were in reflection adult games that we just rehearsed.

 

The picture is my sister Patti and her best friend Karen.  Note the real saddle placed on the makeshift “horse.”  

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/summer/

Reblog: “Entrapment” Poem from 2017 and New Podcast Commentary

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Entrapment

The city lights are tempting–each theater and store,
but when my outer life is rich, my inner life’s a bore.
Do I want to create my life or should it create me?
And which is which?  I do not know. Which helps me most to be?
I guess I need a balance, but each choice is a trap.
While I think it over, perhaps I’ll have a nap.
Sometimes the truth is found in dreams. Perhaps that will work now.
But once the “what” occurs to me, I’ll have to dream the “how.”
I dream empty buildings and abandoned avenues,
stores filled with pretty dresses, refrigerators, shoes.
Wind through broken windows and grass through broken walks.
All those empty radios where no one ever talks.
While somewhere in the country, away from smog and fumes
those busy cities of the past are sealed away in rooms
writing morning pages and playing with their dogs,
recording things they used to do in their daily blogs.
If I don’t join the city, if I choose to be free,
perhaps the busy city will choose to come join me!

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I don’t recall who sent me this podcast, or how. Could it be AI? If you’d like you can listen to it here:

(Please let me know if this podcast link doesn’t work. I’ve been wrestling with it for hours now!)

Blackbirds Over Lake Chapala–in Defense of Poetry

Night lifting of blackbirds from the cattails on Lake Chapala.

Blackbirds Over Lake Chapala

I no longer have to look away from the sunset
to know the birds are flying over.
I’ve come to recognize the sound,
like water rushing against the banks of a stream,
of thousands of wings pumping then gliding then pumping.
The ribbon of their combined mass
twists for miles like a giant ghost snake in the sky, 
its molecules dividing, joining,
undulating from the green marsh grass
into eye blue sky.

Birds silhouette against
an edge of tangerine cloud
that is a scribble of glue in the sky.
Below them,
the smell of dirt, smoke from the burning mountain,
drum beats from the heart of the hazed city.
A canoe shaped like a Nile barge bumps against the reeds.

Sounds of a new flock flying over whip the air
above the night heron
who stands on short legs
on a post surrounded by low water. 
The whole mass of birds is blown by the wind forth and back,
forth and back. 
Some separate and circle back to marsh grass
where another mass lifts to fly east,
away from the setting sun. 

The scene is ripped by
the rapid raucous staccato of two small boys
lofting rocks toward the soaring banks of birds,
violence feisty in their harsh raised voices.

Again and again they throw their stones,
a futile gesture,
as above them the sun turns angry orange
over the purple mountains, 
then sinks to radiate like something sacred 
from behind dark clouds.

Watching two egrets open the air with pencil points, then vanish into it,
I only hear the diving pelican cut the water behind the tall reeds.
And, like a sudden wind over my head,
a new rush of blackbirds.

In Defense of Poetry

“I like the sound of poetry, but I don’t get it.”  “What does it mean?”  “If it means more than it seems to say, why not come right out and say it clearly?” “It sounds phony.  The language isn’t real.” “It sounds good but it isn’t about anything significant.  Why don’t you turn your talents towards something significant?”

All of these statements have been made time and time again about poetry, some of them about my own poetry.   It’s true that there is much bad poetry, as there is much bad prose, but there is also the wonderful  poetry of Sharon Olds, Carolyn Kaiser, Carolyn Forche or Robert Frost. The poetry is not written in the stilted poetic style of centuries past that most people associate with poetry, but rather in clear, concise everyday language.  For it is not the language of good poetry which divides it from good prose, but rather the language that is left out, the type of detail focused on, and even the part of the brain that instigates it.  Poetry gives those of us with not much patience for the news another way to think about politics.  And because it is more an activity of the right than the left brain, it gives us another slant on the matter.  So, let me try to persuade you to give poetry one more chance.  Read his essay, read the above poem one more time, and perhaps your tolerance for poetry might expand a bit.

First of all, poetry is always about something more than is stated.  Take the first stanza of “Blackbirds Over Lake Chapala.”  The poem starts out simply, talking about a giant flock of birds.  The senses of sight, hearing and touch are appealed to as the poet describes standing under a flock of thousands of birds as they lift from the lake.

In the second stanza, the sense of smell is added to the sensory experience and the theme expands into more than a nature study.  The edge of the cloud, caught by the light, becomes a “scribble of glue.”  The image not only conveys information about the appearance of the cloud, but also brings in the  new theme of technology–something functional and man made.  The city is “hazed.”  It is ironic that just as the natural beauty of the cloud edge is described in imagery that links it to a man-made accident (a scribble of glue) that the sunset is made more beautiful by the smog and smoke issuing from the town.  What appears to be beauty is actually what is killing the lake. Man draws off more water than can be replaced and the lake shrinks.  Pollution from irrigation runoff is killing the birds and fish. 

But the beauty of the lake remains, as though nature continues to assert her dominance.  In stanza three, a new flock flies over.   A heron appears.  The wind buffets the flock.  It is both the wind of nature and the wind of change in society.  For the language of poetry has levels.  What is said, what is implied.  The birds fly away, but more birds always emerge.  Is this how it really is in nature?  Will it always adapt and change to accommodate the horrors that we inflict upon it?  In stanza three, it appears that this is so. But then, in stanza four,

The scene is ripped by
The rapid raucous staccato of two small boys
lofting rocks toward the soaring banks of birds……

Again and again they throw their stones.  Senselessly, like shooters on a kangaroo hunt or like buffalo hunters, they seek to kill for the sport of it.  Everything in their world is theirs to do with as they please.  For the small boys, it is a futile effort as the birds soar away, but bigger boys (and nations) yield bigger weapons, and it is just possible––more possible within the past few years––hat they will finally win in their selfish efforts to bend the world to their needs.

The sun turns angry orange, personifying nature.  Would that nature could protect itself.  But sometimes its only defense is to destroy that which is destroying it.  Some would say we are the hands of nature, destroying the infidel.  Some might say that the infidel is the hand of nature, destroying us, who have wreaked so much havoc in the world.  But what does the poem say?

In the last stanza of the poem,

…two egrets open the air with pencil points, then vanish into it.
I only hear the diving pelican cut the water behind the tall reeds.
And, like a sudden wind over my head,
a new rush of blackbirds.”

There is more to nature than we can ever understand.  Our meddling with it has proven it to be true.  The poet only hears the pelican.  She cannot keep her eye on both the egrets and the pelican at the same time.  So it is with us.  We can never understand the total interconnectedness of nature.  We are a part of it, as is the bomb, the oil tanker, and politicians.  It is the way of nature that one thing dies to feed the other. We are not placing ourselves above nature in fulfilling this drive.  But what we are doing is placing ourselves upon the chessboard of nature.  Seeing ourselves to be the knight, we may find ourselves the pawn.  We may find ourselves both the agents and the victims of the world as it seeks to rid itself of harmful elements.  Most people, no matter what their religious or scientific beliefs, recognize that our world of animals, man, televisions, SUVs and rocket ships has evolved from something far different. . .from gas, dust, spirit.  This world, so changed over the eons of its creation, will go on restoring itself, replacing one form of life with another.  Is it our turn, like the great dinosaurs, to be replaced?  Are Trump and Musk the twin comets who will bring about our demise?

And if so, what of the world?  In the last stanza, after the sudden wind, there is a new rush of blackbirds,  And so it is with the world.  Nature, more innocent in scope if not in intention, will go on in one form or another.  Whether we continue to be a part of it is, for the present, up to us.  

Author’s note: This poem was written at a time when the lake was at an all-time low. Presently experts have declared the lake’s water to be 70 percent above U.S. minimum standards. The fish are not polluted and the lake is swimmable–in spite of what is often said. And although in the essay after the poem I mention the “poet,” as though it were someone else, the poem is, in fact, my own.

“Adult”ery–Adaptation to Change, for RDP, July 12, 2025

I just have to reblog this post from 11 years ago in response to RDP’s “Adaptation” prompt…and also, something I’ve never done before, I’m reblogging the comments from back then as well, because I enjoyed reading them so much. 

JudycurlsJudycurls - Version 2

Unfortunate hairstyles of the past

 

“Adult”ery (Adaptation to Change)

I don’t remember, as a child, ever really thinking about what it would be like to be an adult in terms of where I would live or what I would choose as a profession. I do remember, however, two things I worried about. First of all, I worried about what instrument I would play in the school band. I had two sisters, one eleven years older and the other four years older, who both played saxophone. As a matter of fact, there being 7 years difference in their ages, they both played the same saxophone! When I entered the sixth grade and was old enough to play in the starter band, I knew two things. #1: I had to play in the band because both of them had done so. #2: I had to find a way to be unique in doing exactly what they had done, and so I had to find a different instrument. This resolve was strengthened by the fact that my sister Patti was still using the “family saxophone.” As long as I was being different, I decided to stretch my uniqueness as far as it would go. No one in either the starter or the regular band had ever played a flute. It was exotic and not very heavy to carry. I would play a flute!!! Or rather, I would attempt to play a flute.

I faked it for two years, blowing energetically into the little hole as we sat in the band loft at games or marched along behind the regular band, practicing for parades or football games; but I never really developed much of a tone and my memory of which note was which was limited. It was really easy, though, to carry that little case about as large as a large pencil case the two blocks to the auditorium where our band practice occurred. My band instructor could not afford to be picky as there were only 200 students in the entire school system—grade school and high school combined—so every warm body available was required to flesh out the physical body of the band. If a few were miming, so be it. As long as they could stay in step for the marching band and didn’t play any really loud false notes, who would ever know?

When my sister left for college, she left the sax behind; and when I headed out for my first band practice as a high school freshman, I left that dread flute behind as I took sax in hand to continue the family tradition. I was not a whole lot better at it, but found something held between the lips and teeth was a lot easier than something held sideways and blown across and although the sax was heavier, it was held in a much more sustainable position than the flute, which was an exercise in arm isometrics as I held it aloft!!

The second worry I had about growing up was how I would wear my hair. I would lie awake nights worrying about what hairstyle I would adopt when I could no longer sport the sausage curls my mother formed around her finger each morning. Shirley Temple, who had already grown to adulthood, needed to be replaced! My hair was too long, however, to duplicate Shirley’s bouncy little curls. It hung in fat tubes down beside my cheeks, offsetting my tight little bangs curled up each night in pink rubber curlers. For some reason, both my mom and I thought this made me look real good, and I am not exaggerating when I admit that there were nights when I’d lie in bed, tears streaming down my cheeks, worrying about what I would do when I grew up and could no longer wear curls!!

So now you know why I dropped the saxophone as soon as I graduated high school and why I had to move to Mexico to escape the shame of all those years when I allowed my mother to shape my esthetic sense of hair. I haven’t owned a curler of any type for 20 years. That saxophone was handed on to the next generation of my family and its mouthpiece, at least, met its demise when it snapped in two as my niece tried to grip it with the fourth pair of teeth in three decades. With a new mouthpiece, it survived four more years—hopefully this time with someone with more talent than I. I know not where it ended up. Probably in some second hand store or donated to some child who couldn’t afford an instrument. I hope it wound up with some talented individual who could restore its pride in itself.

Now that I have been an adult for many many years, I have conquered most of its demands. I have found many hairstyles, only a few of them more ridiculous than sausage curls (see my college picture above as an illustration of this fact) and attempted only one additional instrument, the guitar. Having played only solo or in duet with a college friend who tried to mold me into Joan Baez but failed, I did learn about seven chords and learned to adapt a whole succession of seventies songs to fit into those seven chords. I played for sing-alongs with the kids I counseled at summer camp and for groups of little neighbors around the world, who would come to my house on Saturday mornings to sing silly songs. And I have that guitar to this day. But I haven’t played it for years and harbor no illusions about my prowess. It is there for visiting friends who want to play for me and as a big, cumbersome, hard-to-store reminder that I can choose my own failures as surely as my own successes.

I am an adult like other adults—growing more childish year-by-year, but in my regression toward soft food and adult diapers, I will never sink so low as to repeat some mistakes of my youth. Never ever more sausage curls or flutes held aloft like punishment. And never again will I try to be different just to be different. “The Far Side” has shown that this is nothing that really needs to be aimed for. We all grow odd enough just following the path of nature, thereby furnishing the humor for all the generations that follow us.

The Prompt: As a kid, you must have imagined what it was like to be an adult. Now that you’re a grownup (or becoming one), how far off was your idea of adult life?

P.S. Thirty years after high school, when I was doing an art show in Oregon, a man walked by my display and then did an about-face and came back and said, “You’re Judy Dykstra, aren’t you?”  I admitted the fact and asked him how he knew me.  He said he was 5 years behind me in school in the small South Dakota town where I grew up.  He was a country boy and since we’d never been in school together, I didn’t recognize him but did recognize the family name.

“How in the world did you even know what I looked like, let alone recognize me thirty years later?” I asked.

“Well, a bunch of us used to collect in the the school library and look at old annuals,” he said.  “I recognize you from your high school picture.”  Suddenly, it all came clear.

“You used to look at them to laugh at all the funny hairstyles, didn’t you?”   Sheepishly, he laughed and admitted it.  I had hit the nail (or the girl?) right on the head!!!!

 

21 thoughts on “Adult”ery

  1. lassymac's avatarLaura M.
    My family begged for me to choose the flute but I went for the alto sax instead. The compromise: my brother’s balled up socks shoved in the bell. PS: You’re still stunning in that photo, helmet notwithstanding 😉

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  2. lifelessons's avatargrieflessonsPost author
    Ha… One wonderful thing about being the age we are is that we can be who we are and admit what we admit without worrying about the consequences. Those younger than us are too worried about their own lives to even consider ours and those our age are going through much the same as we are, so why not let it all hang out? But no, no more sausage curls or helmet dos. I can be funny without being so in retrospect!!!!

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  3. Brian_87!'s avatarBrian_87!
    I can understand your first worry! It happens with the younger kids in a family 😀 I being the youngest, was always pushed with tradition concept and idea to carry the legacy. My sister was free to choose but then her decision were like ‘trend setting tradition’ to be followed by me. Ha!ha! well thanks for sharing this
    P.S: TRUST me I like that hairdo!

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    1. lifelessons's avatargrieflessonsPost author
      Yet I think it was really me setting those expectations for myself, partially because I admired my sisters and partially because there were no other choices to make in my small town. I thought I was expected to do what my sisters did, but once I left home and branched out and started doing my own thing, everyone approved. I dreaded what my mom and dad would say the first time I traveled around the world. Instead, she bought a map and put it on the wall and put a pin in each country I visited and he told exaggerated stories to all his cronies in Macks Cafe about what I was doing. When I emigrated to Australia after college graduation, she and my dad and sister came to visit and as I traveled once more around the world, they never objected–at least to me. My sister even came to visit me in Africa. When I quit my job and sold my house and took off to CA to write after ten years of teaching, again I feared what my mom would say,(my Dad had died by then) but what she said to my sister was, “Well, that’s a relief. She was getting to be a bit school-teacherish!” Thanks, Mom and Dad and Patti, for always accepting the changes and going along with them as well. And thanks, Brian, for reading my blog and commenting. Please come back and do so again. Judy

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      1. lifelessons's avatargrieflessonsPost author
        P.S. Brian, just which of those hairdos do you like? If it is the second, I merely question your judgement. If it is the first, I worry about you!! Kind of you to say so, though.

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  4. Ann O'Neal Garcia's avatarAnn O’Neal Garcia
    totally LOVE the early photos of you. What a cute kid and what a beautiful young woman, never mind the funky hair styles. I got a kick out of “seeing” you unsuccessfully blowing warm air across the flute’s opening, hoping there’d be a pleasant note or two, and marching in h.s. band with a saxophone later. You made some good points about how, as we age, we “all grow odd enough just following the path of nature.” Yes, indeed! And how nice your whole family supported the life-changes you made. Good lady from good family. Nice to know you!

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    1. lifelessons's avatargrieflessonsPost author
      Hopefully, I’d straightened up my hair act by the time you got to know me, Ann. I remember one girl leaning over in English Methods class once and asking me if I put my mascara on both the tops and bottoms of my eyelashes (by this I mean tops and bottoms of my top eyelashes and tops and bottoms of my bottoms ones). I said yes!!! Wish I’d asked her why she asked, but looking at this picture, perhaps I know.

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  5. Mary Francis McNinch's avatarMary Francis McNinch
    I really enjoyed reading this. I watched way too much Father knows best and Donna Reed. I thought that was how it was supposed to be. I don’t know what I was thinking..neither show represented my family. I think you look beautiful in your college picture.

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    1. lifelessons's avatarlifelessonsPost author
      Did you read the Emily Loring books in the school library? They did me in!!! When I look back through my albums, I am embarrassed to note that almost every hairdo was laughable. I have a story about that as a matter of fact! Wait. I have a story about everything! As do you.

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“Adaptation” was the prompt for MVB.