Category Archives: Uncategorized

13 Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes (And 1 Fortunate One)

This was something I wrote to a prompt many years ago. The prompt was to write your own fortune cookie fortunes:

                               13  Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes (by me)

–Your ingrained habits are not gluten free.
–You will be the life of your friend’s party this weekend when you mistakenly consume gluten and start making rye comments.
–Your mother-in-law will join a motorcycle gang and become your mother-out-law.
–The roots of your problems are showing.
–You will be asked to sing “Hello Jung Lovers” at the next synchronicity symposium you attend.
–Your children are engaged in a conspiracy to turn you into your parents.
–Seventy-six trombones are seventy-five too many.
–Cadets are advised that participating in naval maneuvers will not make your outie an innie.
–The reason why your cat is always trying to trip you is because he does not like your shoos.
–Taking time to smell the roses does not necessarily guarantee that there will be roses to smell.
–At your next poetry reading, you will drop a page of your manuscript on the way to the stage and be requested to remove your feet from the aisle.
–Just because you know how to read a meter does not mean you know how to maintain one.
— At your awards ceremony for being a prolific sperm donor, expect your recipients to give you a standing ovulation.

And One Fortunate One:

–You will outgrow your ingrown toenail.

Image by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Young People’s Chorus of NYC performs “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

Thanks to my friend Gunars for sending this amazing performance of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

A Bah Humbug Primer: For the Sunday Whirl Wordle #634

A Bah Humbug Primer

If a White Christmas isn’t your “thing,”
If popcorn is something you eat but don’t string
into chains for the tree, and if twinkling lights
and tinsel and candy canes are dreaded sights,
if you are weary of seasonal cheer,
lest a stray chorus should fall on your ear
of “White Christmas” or “Jingle Bells,” close tight your door,
seal up your window, or you’ll hear more
joyous renditions you feel you’ve heard
over and over until they’re absurd.

If you grow feverish thinking of shopping,
then break out in chills—back and forth, without stopping,
then put on the skids or else you might pop.
Don’t make me send over the Bah Humbug Cop!
With unwavering calm, put dreams into action,
lest you commit  a Yuletide infraction.

There’s no law that says that you have to do
holidays that you happen to rue.
Hop a bus, then a plane. Find a tropical isle.
Take off to Arabia. Sail up the Nile.
There are plenty of spots without holly and snow—
places where Santa Claus dares not to go.

Just because some of us love our tradition,
doesn’t mean you will be tried for sedition
if you neglect to put up a tree.
So perk up your ears and listen to me.

There is a truth that everyone knows.
The best gifts of all don’t come tied up in bows.
Friends we can trust and friends we hold dear
We celebrate every day of the year!!!

The Sundaywhirl prompt words today are: dream white joyous twinkle waver chains stray chorus might chill feverish sight

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

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Sealed Windows: Weekend Writing Prompt #343

 

Sealed Windows

These windows do not open, but keep me trapped inside
with no hope of escaping, so in full view, I hide.
Seen by every passerby but never touched by one.
For all the beauty trapped inside, there’s not a gram of fun.

Sterile empty paintings. An airless motionless room.
No other person enters to chase away the gloom.
As I look out, observing the drama of the world,
I hold my drama in my mind, where it’s securely curled.

 

 

For the Weekend Writing prompt #343 : Window (exactly 79 words)

So, What happened in 1947? For the Daily Prompt

Click on Photos to Enlarge.

I was born on July 3, 1947, as was Dave Barry,  nationally syndicated humor columnist for the Miami Herald. As our parents adjusted to our births, UFO crashes were being reported in Roswell, N.M., the Israeli War of Independence was raging on, Jackie Robinson was breaking  Major League Baseball’s “color line”  by donning a Brooklyn Dodgers Uniform, India won its independence creating India, Pakistan and East Pakistan, Communists were excluded from the governments of Italy and France, leading to the beginning of the Cold War,  the Fort Lauderdale Hurricane decimated southeastern Florida as well as parts of Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana, and the “Great Fires of 1947” wreaked havoc in the state of Maine, burning over 200,000 acres and killing 16 people. All-in-all, a busy year!

For the Daily Prompt: Share all you know about the year you were born. 

Iris: For Cee’s FOTD Dec 22, 2023

 

For Cee’s FOTD

Kristina’s 28th Birthday ;o)

Click on photos to enlarge.

Yes, it was open-air and cold. Yes, the music was TOO LOUD!!! And Yes, it was fun.  (And no. Not really 28. It’s an in-joke.)

Shhhhh. Secret Santa

Santa and Jewish Lad.

 

My friend David sent me this. Love it.

“Pull Up A Chair” For Wordless Wednesday, Dec 20, 2023

 

For Wordless Wednesday