A “Do” Review

The sermon is boring, so with nothing to do
but stare at the preacher, I’m staring at you
and reviewing your haircut, here from behind.
I know I’m in church and so I should be kind,
but I notice the trim over one ear is higher,
and the top is so high that I can’t see the choir!
Bouffant is a style, my dear, that’s passé
unless you are Dolly or possibly gay,
and the color is glaring. It’s hurting my eyes.
You need a new stylist with subtler dyes.

Your split ends are shocking, but there’s a solution.
If you don’t pursue it, there’s no absolution
for sins of omission equal to these.
(It’s simply my sense of noblesse oblige
that leads me to share with you thoughts on your hair,
for when it comes to style, dear, there isn’t much there.)
I can give you the name of a salon I know
and it’s up to you if you want to go,
but if you choose not to, I’d advise that
you do us a favor and just wear a hat!

For NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 27, we are to write a review of something not normally
reviewed.