Tag Archives: funny poem

Uneducated Palate


Uneducated Palate

I haven’t a fine palate. I barely can distinguish
between the different dishes that I’m given to extinguish.
I do not know a dumpling from a fancy knish.
I do not have an inkling of the different sorts of fish.
So if you’re short of delicacies and you have to skimp,
just dole me out some hot dogs and save your fancy shrimp
for someone who appreciates the difference between them,
for I am just a landlocked girl who’s never even seen them!

 

Today’s prompt words are distinguish and skimp. Here are links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/05/09/rdp-thursday-distinguish-distinguished/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/05/09/fowc-with-fandango-skimp/

Hunters and Gatherers

Hunters and Gatherers

Each animal survives because of some unique ability.
The chipmunk gets along in life because of its nimbility.
It scampers over rocks and logs with speed and grace and pluck
to grab up errant picnic crumbs (on days when it’s in luck.)

Lions live by tooth and claw and speed to hunt their prey.
Cows just use their molars to masticate their hay.
Incisors furnish beavers with foliage and bark.
Raccoons have larger eyes than us for hunting in the dark.

If food in lofty places is what monkeys desire,
they can use prehensile thumbs to journey ever higher,
but an elephant’s long trunk can help him reach what he may please

obviating his necessity to climb up trees.

Humans , however, do not need  trunks or speed or climbing.
They do not need agility or viciousness or timing.
They have no need to wait in hiding by some water hole.
They simply use their money to buy  filet of sole!

 

Today’s prompt words are nimble, obviate, desire and money. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/rdp-monday-nimble/
FOWC with Fandango — Obviate
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/your-daily-word-prompt-desire-april-29-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/29/money/

Happy Easter, Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is my friend Patty Martin’s birthday, so I woke up early to be, hopefully, the first one to wish her happy birthday.  Since we are about a thousand miles apart and since I know she is on the road, visiting her kids and friends in Wyoming and Colorado, and since it was just 6:30 her time and too early to phone, , it had to be via email.  This is the message I sent her:

Which location in your pilgrimage are you at now?  Do you get a party or celebration at every one??? Woke up early today to the yowl of Annie demanding her breakfast.  That is always the first item on my agenda!  Then I realized what she was really doing was reminding me to get up and be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday, and Happy Easter!!!!

Did you know you were born on Palm Sunday? This year it is on Easter, and In your lifetime, your birthday has fallen on Easter just one other time–in 1957.

The next time it falls on Easter will be in 2052, so I think they’ll be celebrating without you!

Do you remember when you were nine having your birthday on Easter?  Did you have a bunny on your cake? If we were together today, you would have one.  I’m going to an Easter Egg hunt/brunch next door at Salvador and David’s house at noon. They rented Allenda’s old house from its new owners for two years. I won’t eat as I have an Easter comida to go to at Yves restaurant at 2:30 with Sandy, Harriet and Paul, Glenda, Gloria and Patricia Gail. We will sing Happy Birthday for you.

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Happy Birthday, dear friend!!!!!!    xooxox Judy

Then I got busy writing my three-prompt poem for today and for some reason, the birthday theme just stuck with me.  Here is the poem–a silly little bit of fluff:

Birthday Hint

(Just in case you are around on my next birthday)

It’s the ugly truth. I’m partisan when it comes to cake,
and though of course I’d have a piece, whatever one you make,
chocolate is my first choice and the one that I would favor.
There really isn’t any cake of any other flavor
that would please my palate half as much as that,
so if you’re taking the initiative to try to make me fat,
just bake a cake of chocolate and put a candle on it
and in return I’ll write my own Happy Birthday sonnet!!!!

 

 

Word prompts for today are partisan, initiative and ugly. Here are the links:
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/21/fowc-with-fandango-partisan/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/21/your-daily-word-prompt-Initiative-april-21-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/21/ugly/

Skipping out on Christmas

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Skipping out on Christmas

Who cares if it is dark and dismal
and the weather is abysmal.
Why don’t we leave and take a walk.
We need to have a little talk.
If we’re lucky we might get lost
in this weather tempest-tossed
and have to find a little pub
to loft a glass and eat some grub.

Sure, at home the food is free,
but at home is also family!
Grandpa’s drunk and Grandma’s scolding.
Mother’s busy triple-folding
napkins into Christmas trees
and worrying Aunt Beck will sneeze
into the cranberries again,
‘cuz bird without them is a sin.

The kids are wrestling and biting,
as usual, their acts inciting
scolding mother, shouting father.
I always wonder why they bother
to gather every  holiday?
Once all the tawdry facts I weigh,
I wonder why they come together
every year, despite the weather.

So come on. Put your muffler on.
They’ll barely notice that we’re gone.
We won’t be yelled at, questioned, bossed.
I’ll pay the bill, whate’er the cost.
I need that extra Christmas cheer
that can be purchased beer by beer,
as we ponder that conundrum dumb
of why, each year, we also come!

Here are the prompt words and links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/rdp-tuesday-walk/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/11/27/fowc-with-fandango-leave/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/dismal/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-November-27-2018/

 

Word Pie

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Word Pie

I take them as a milestone, these long afternoon naps
that make my late nights possible by filling in the gaps
between compulsive writing sessions to meet the assignment
of all these daily prompt words coming to us by consignment!

Blogging’s become a nightmare that’s turned me slightly manic.
Prompts have me fully frustrated and in a mid-life panic.
(To be truthful, only “midlife” if one forty is my lifespan,
which, if I had my druthers, really would become my lifeplan!)

Prompts now come like a waterfall that’s turned on every morning.
I might have just ignored them if I’d only had a warning
that I’d become obsessive in using one and all.
(I have them in my bookmarks and must daily heed their call.)

That WordPress prompt now seems like poverty. One short month ago
we only had one daily prompt site where all of us would go.
Every day, we waited for it like the early morning sun,
but now we face a heat wave for there isn’t only one.

Ragtag and Fandango have become Daily Addictions—
not to mention other Word Prompts that demand our daily fictions.
Cee’s Share Your World still tempts us, as does that dVerse Poet.
We could have stuck to only them. Alas, we did not know it!

Now we are all scrambling to fill  all their demands.
It keeps our poor brains busy, not to mention how our hands
cramp up from all this typing as our lives all go awry
as we all line up to get each daily slice of prompt site pie!

This poem is an attempt to meet all of the below prompts..Ooops, sorry “Heatwave,” I slipped a photo prompt in without realizing it.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/06/29/rdp-29-milestone/

https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/06/29/poverty/

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/06/29/fowc-with-fandango-nightmare/

https://weeklyprompts.com/2018/06/27/word-prompt-frustrating/

https://weeklyprompts.com/2018/06/23/photo-challenge-heat-wave

Share Your World – June 25, 2018

 

https://weeklyprompts.com/prompts/

https://weeklyprompts.com/2018/06/27/word-prompt-frustrating/

In the Market

In the Market

Her mother tells her not to talk to strangers in the streets–
to count on all her kin to provide everyone she meets.
But this man has such lovely eyes, so what could be the harm?
And she’s not often left to stray this far from father’s farm.
When he walks by, she gives a smile and looks him in the eye.
He looks away, but his shy smile still gives away the guy.
She drops her basket, but he still continues on his way.
It’s only then that she decides that this one must be gay.

The store where she is going is not so very far,
and yet she takes the longest way that leads there from her car.
Although it should be blocks away, instead it is two miles.
She only has this route and back to practice all her wiles.
Whenever gentlemen of note meet her questing glance,
Her winsome smile becomes a grin, her walk becomes a prance.
Some of the men seem to be shocked. The others move away.
She’s sure it is just married men she meets this market day.

But finally, one man in plaid does not avoid her glance.
She smiles at him invitingly, afraid she’ll lose her chance.
She sees him turn as she walks by and follow in her wake.
It seems she’s finally hooked one. It was a piece of cake.
When she arrives and goes into the store, he follows her.
It’s just so he can meet her, of this she’s fairly sure.
Aisle after aisle she meets his gaze by boldly looking up
while he pretends he’s looking for food on which to sup.

Pork and beans he passes up, chili and green beans.
He adjusts his shoulders and hitches up his jeans.
She knows that he’s not used to this. He’s not so debonair.
He will not meet her flirty glance or even her bold stare;
and yet she sees him peeking when it seems that she’s not looking.
It’s clear enough to her that something’s definitely cooking.
She’s been around the livestock so she knows the signs and causes,
yet a bull just gets right to it and a rooster never pauses. Continue reading

The Inkling

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The Inkling

I haven’t an inkling what I ought to do
about that weird spot on the tongue of my shoe.
Don’t know how it got there, don’t know what its made of.
And such a strange color! I don’t know the shade of
odd pigment that it might be properly called—
somewhere between baby pig and grandpa-bald?

What color is pink to end up on your shoe?
With pink on his toe, what’s a fellow to do?
If there were a shoe wash, I’d go in a blink,
but since there is no sort of place, then the sink
is the place I will go to to wash off this matter—
this slimy soft substance that looks like a batter.

You may think I’m silly to make such a fuss,
to blather and worry and mumble and cuss,
but these shoes are brand new and my favorites, at that—
undeserving of refuse left by the cat.
Now the cat’s in the barn and the shoe is restored.
Almost. Must that shadow just be ignored?

I’ve dined out on this story ’till friends are all bored.
As they approach me, I hear them say, “Lord,
protect us from more boring talk of his shoe.
Please let him not mention that gloppy pink goo.”
They may call me a heel, these folks I’m among
as I tell them once more how the cat got my tongue.

But I can’t abandon those images that
that mess on my shoe was left by the cat.
On what innocent creature might she have dined—
its tiny pink corpse so sadly reclined
on the tongue of my perfectly saddle-soaped shoe?
My friends will not listen, so I’m telling you!!

 

The prompt today was inkling.