Announcing, the First Annual Spamster Awards

After reviewing the spam messages on my blog over the past five years, I have appointed myself to be the founder, administrator, adjudicator and guardian of the first annual Spamster Awards. I’m now taking nominations for blog Spam above and beyond normalcy, literacy, legitimacy or usefulness. To submit your nomination for worst spam of the year, check your spam folder on your blog and then copy and paste the message you wish to nominate into a comment on this blog. If it does not fall into one of the below categories, do not worry. We’ll make up a new category. Spread the word, but please be sure to send nominations only to this particular blog posting. Also, feel free to submit new category suggestions.

“Spamster” Nominations

 

For the category of most incomprehensible:

* “Help make your subject matter more at ease by presenting some form of a prop. Give you a lady a blossom to try out with or a gentleman a basketball. Give you a happy couple some bubble periodontal and get them blow bubbles jointly. You may not need to include the prop inside the frame in some instances but there may be photographs that actually work out properly together.”

* “Usually do not anticipate to you should every person using the selections you will certainly be producing. This day is designed for you, which is depending on what you like. Usually do not let anyone who may criticize get you straight down or make you improve your brain. Do what definitely makes you pleased since you will keep this in mind day time for an extended time then anyone else will.” Followed by a URL for an “images” site. ?? (nominated by Christine Goodnough)

For the category of most likely to have used a translation app for the message:

* “There is noticeably a bundle to realize about this. I assume you made specific good points in functions also.”

* “Should you suffer from a type of ringing in ears that is certainly causing a frequent “visiting” sound with your the ears, you might have a condition brought on by jaw joint misalignment, or TMJ. Watch your dentist to discover if this is your trouble.”

+ “Hi there, simply tuｒned іnto aware of your weblog via Google, and located that it is truⅼy informative. I am going to be carｅful for brussels. I’ll be grateful when youcontinue this in future. A lot of рeople might be benefited from your writing. Cheers! (Marilyn Armstrong)

For the category of comments most unrelated to the blog posting to which they were a comment:

* (In answer to my posting of a photo of a flower) “It has never been easier to judge between the transportation services, as all bloke opinions and testimonials are gathered in identical see fitted
you to pick the best. Bolt injurious supremacy and as a culminate miserable face by consulting any paraphrase website reviews.Thoroughly written testimonials purpose influence you including the approach of selecting the one and but change checking that will-power fit your needs.”

*  (spam comment to the following haiku “Fly by Night,” posted by Christine Goodnough:
Wings over hayfield/ moonlight in the hunter’s eyes;/the grasses tremble) ” I wish to express my appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from such a situation. Because of looking through the world-wide-web and seeing advice that were not productive, I assumed my entire life was done. Existing without the presence of solutions to the difficulties you have sorted out by means of your entire guideline is a critical case, and the kind which might have negatively affected my entire career if I had not noticed your blog. The competence and kindness in handling all the things was very helpful. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. I am able to at this point look forward to my future. Thank you very much for this professional and sensible guide. I won’t think twice to recommend your web page to anybody who requires guide about this topic.” 

* (In answer to a posting entitled IS IT HOT OR IS IT ME? WHAT?  which is about the temperature in her house, Marilyn Armstrong got this spam message:)  “welcome you XXXX me and fill me mouth with his sweet XXX my nickname (XXXXXXX)I Want a lot of sex like role-playing games Copy the link and go to me … XXXXXXXXXyou porn gay XXXXXXX compilation gay porn of indian men tegami bachi porn porns filthiest mature ffm porn resi

For the category of editing services I’d be least likely to accept:

 * “I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.”

* “I cherished as much as you’ll receive performed proper here. The comic strip is tasteful, your authored material stylish. however, you command get got an nervousness over that you want be handing over the following. unwell certainly come more before once more as exactly the same just about very steadily inside of case you shield this increase.”

 * “ . I don’t call up I’d edited that line of reasoning, but i’m always editing when I reckon mistakes after posting so no one’s flaw that we can check and why would we want to anyway?”

For the category of most hilarious:

•  “For those who have an extensive ab, your entire armoire will need to have folks gentle clothes in addition to darker coloration. Soft shades usually strengthen all of your big mid-section. Be certain to make sure make use of an actual jacket when it forbids freely flesh approach using transpiring. Rather long sleeve T-shirt can be the right kind just for you. Sidestep minimal midsection jean.” (nominated by Christine Goodnough)

Very important!!! Please be sure to substitute XXXXXXXXX for any product names, sites or other information that would identify the spammer as well as extreme obscenties.

And yes, I did receive a spam letter in response to this posting.  Of course, it was totally unrelated to the subject.