Category Archives: Humor

Dressing for Attention

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Dressing For Attention

Purple pedal pushers and a yellow skirt.
For a hat, a fascinator, and a tartan shirt.
A fur stole that’s a relic of another age—
when they didn’t raise them in a tiny cage.

Platform shoes to raise me up in elevation
so the band will see me during their ovation.
Great big shades to block the sunlight from my eyes
and so my date can’t see me flirting with the guys.

Bright pink polish on my nails and rhinestones on my lashes.
A girl has got to dress up right for these special bashes.
I will match the music—loud and brash and brassy.
   Bands don’t notice groupies whose style is too classy!

 

Daily Inkling asks what sort of an outfit we’d wear to a concert.  Oh oh!!!!

Snow’s Epilogue

 

 

Snow’s Epilogue

We can’t codify the snowflakes nor put them into order.
They fall to make a blanket or a pile or a border.
They come in a blizzard and leave us in a trickle. 
There’s something about former snow that is so very fickle.
It drips in drops from icicles and surges down the gutters.
Our attempts to modify it end in futile mutters.
I need not be prophetic to state the truth of snow.
It starts out in a flurry and ends up in a flow.

 

 


I’m finally in Missouri after a day on planes, airports and car. Ready to tackle today’s prompt words which are: blizzard, former,modify and prophetic. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/rdp-thursday-blizzard/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/18/fowc-with-fandango-former/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/daily-addictions-2018-week-41/modify
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/prophetic/

Bad Sport

This photo of my hometown team was taken a few years after I graduated. It was taken in the school auditorium.  I’d recognize that floor anywhere.  I’d come in close contact with it the one year I played girls’ basketball and another time when the school principal threatened to make me scrub it with a toothbrush when I walked across it with street shoes after a school pep rally. The auditorium was named for this longtime teacher and coach, Harold Thune, but the auditorium floor was named for  Jerald Applebee, who was coach from the time I was a Freshman in high school in 1960 until a few years ago. I swear, this is true.

Bad Sport

I don’t do sports, nor watch them, either.
A one block jog? I’d need a breather.

At volleyball, I don’t excel.
Touch football is a sort of hell.
For passing time, by hook or crook,
Jog on alone. I’ll read a book!!!

 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/17/rdp-wednesday-sport/

Explorers

Click to enlarge photos.

Explorers

Sitting up past midnight, we search our mind for facts,
parting long grasses of the past for long-forgotten pacts
of secrets kept from parents and long-forgotten games:
“New Orleans” and “Send ‘Em” *. We comb our minds for names.

Of talents left to childhood, like flips off monkey bars.
Adventures dreamed on rooftops and the back seats of cars.
Favorite childhood dresses and jokes pulled on our folks.
Afternoons in Mack’s Cafe, sipping on our Cokes.

Hot beef sandwiches at Fern’s and running up the stairs
to avoid Mom’s fly swatter aimed at our derrieres.
Childhood dramas staged in trees or in our backyard lawn.

Teenage slumber parties that stretched out into dawn.

We journey through old albums, searching photos for
any tiny detail that will open up a door.
Each time I come to visit, we remember a bit more
on these safaris of the mind that we both adore.

*These are the names of childhood games. Did anyone else play them?

For the Word of the Day challenge: Exploring

Flunking Exotic

Flunking Exotic

When I was young I had an idea I could be exotic,
but when in fact I tried, I found my goal to be quixotic.
For even though I thought that I could be like Theda Bara,
My skirt rode up, my nylons ran and so did my mascara.
I spent a fortune for “vamp” clothes, but had no place to wear them,
and they were so tight and scratchy that I could hardly bear them.
This is what finally prompted me to settle for what’s normal.
Exotic’s harder than it looks, as well as way too formal!!!

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/17/fowc-with-fandango-prompt/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/daily-addictions-2018-week-41/exotic

Serendipity

Serendipity

Seated at the movies in the last row of the balcony,
I couldn’t hear the dialogue and the man in front of me
was so tall that captions, too, were impossible to see.
But all of this, indeed, was just a part of serendipity
that played out as I exited the door they’d marked “Emergency”
that led out to the lobby where I’d decided that I had to flee.
There I found a bench and with a paperback upon my knee,
I passed five minutes during which I read with such intensity,
I didn’t even notice a man exiting to go to pee,
until he left the Men’s room, and I looked up as he passed by me.
He was a very handsome man—the very one who  formerly
had blocked my view but who now sat beside me and delightfully
soon engaged my interest with his wit and his sincerity.
And that is how our “he” and “me” quickly turned into a “we,”
and also how, ultimately,  you two children came to be!

The prompts  today are serendipity, balcony, emergency and caption. Here are the links:
/https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/16/rdp-tuesday-serendipity/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/16/fowc-with-fandango-balcony/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/16/emergency/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/13/daily-addictions-2018-week-41/caption

Lashing Out

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If you’ve never before heard of the phrase “on fleek,” get in line behind me.  It was, however, the prompt word for the Ragtag Daily Prompt site today. In essence, it means perfectly done, exactly right; extremely good, attractive or stylish; sleek and perfectly groomed or styled. Examples: “Eyebrows on fleek.” , “Makeup on fleek”.


Lashing Out

When her lash she chose to tweak,
intent on its being on fleek,
alas she tugged a bit too much
and found that it escaped her clutch.
In vain did she survey and stoop.
The lash had landed in her soup.
And shortly after she sought to seat it,
she had the misfortune to eat it!

 

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For the RDP prompt, “fleek.”

Troglodyte*

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Troglodyte

She remained safely part of the herd.
Anything “different” she labeled absurd.
Stellar works of writing or music or art
raised her concern as they stirred up her heart.

Since she did not approve of rattling the senses,

she kept herself safely concealed behind fences.
Bright jarring colors too much of a risk,
she surrounded herself with calm shades of  bisque.

When the masses went clubbing, she simply stayed home
sipping tea on her terrace with her garden gnome.
No witty rejoinders with which to contend.
No strangers to challenge beliefs or offend.

All of her life deliberately planned
to ward off adventure and preserve the bland,
as the world interacted and frolicked and rapped,
she petted her cat and frequently napped.

* A Troglodyte  is a person characterized by reclusive habits or outmoded or reactionary attitudes

The prompt words for today are herd, fence stellar and concern. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/11/rdp-thursday-herd/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/11/fowc-with-fandango-fence/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/11/stellar/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/daily-addictions-2018-week-40/concern

The Old and Unrested

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The Old and Unrested

The old and unrested return to their beds,
propping their pillows under their heads.
Pulling their blankets up to their ears,
they let up on the gas and go into low gears.

Setting their brandies or porters or gins
on their bedside tables, they settle their chins
upon their chests and watch some TV
on laptops that sit where their boobs used to be.

Life is confusing when you are too near it,
especially ’cause it is so damn hard to hear it.
Then when you’re alone, it’s entirely too loud.
These neighborhood noises should not be allowed!

They turn up the volume to drown out the noise
of the car alarms, weed eaters and screaming boys.
They lie all morning, secure in their beds.
Life is much easier lived in their heads!

For Daily Inklings, Objects at Rest.

Trouble Crossing

Trouble Crossing

Fjords, ravines and crevasses are hard enough to cross,
but when it comes to intersections, I am at a loss.
I excel at parallel parking and my merging is just fine,
but when negotiating stop lights, I simply do not shine.

Perhaps it is the colors that I find distracting.
There’s something about yellow that I find too exacting.
Red is most definitive. I know I shouldn’t go.
And green is also clearly meant as a sign to go.

But yellow’s indecisive. Should I go or should I stay?
Should I linger or should I be upon my way?
This solitary factor is what makes me balk.
As a means of transportation, it is true I’d rather walk!!!! 

The prompt words are color, parking, fjord and solitary. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/10/10/rdp-wednesday-color/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/10/10/fowc-with-fandango-parking/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/10/10/fjord/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/10/06/daily-addictions-2018-week-40/solitary