Tag Archives: Silly Poems

Scorpion in the Sacristy

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Scorpion in the Sacristy

Minuscule but powerful, it causes us to shake.
The most masculine among us have been known to quake
and to seek protection whenever one is seen,
for it is rumored that their punch is wicked mean.
They inspire colorful language from the subjects of their strikes,
because it’s understatement to simply scream out “Yikes!”
when stricken by a scorpion. The occasion calls for more,
and that is why the village priest was pardoned when he swore
as he removed the host veil and was stung upon the hand,
for though the Holy Father issued a reprimand
for the sin of taking the name of Christ in vain,
since the priest was still in shock and reeling in his pain,
not one of his parishioners, it’s said, has censored him,
for each and every one of them thanked God  it wasn’t them!

Prompt words today are colorful, minuscule, punch, quake, protection and seen.

Improving on the Masters

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Improving on the Masters

Surreptitiously, I raise the quill to make a thin gray line
to festoon the drawing that is not even mine,
then tuck my small utensil securely in my purse.
Nightly I make this journey, and nightly I rehearse

what I will say if caught at last, imagining the worse.

The art museum’s climate—chill and dry and dark
gives way to summer’s damp heat as I hurry through the park,
find my car and drive away, speeding ever faster
lest I be finally detected, improving on a master.

 

Prompt words today are festoon, surreptitiously, quill, utensil, thin, climate.

Seasonal Bribery

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Seasonal Bribery

Santa’s elves are in the workshop wrapping caramel kisses
to put in the stockings of little boys and misses
whose lofty thoughts are centered on baseball gloves and dolls—
hopes whispered into Santa’s ear in numerous city malls.

But my premonition is that though your needs are captivating, 
there’s a likely chance that Santa’s been equivocating
about giving you the puppy that you’ve been asking for
every day and every night for a year or more.

I’ve heard Santa’s considering the possibility
that you might be lacking in responsibility.
Would you fill his food bowl and pick up puppy poop?
Would you train him not to raid the chicken coop?

Everything about a puppy is not cute and nice.
He might bring you baby birds or even wiggling mice!
Tear up favorite clothes you leave upon the floor,
chew up all your Barbie dolls and Teddy bears and more.

You’d have to learn to clean your room and put your things on shelves—
all the things observed by Santa and his elves.
Do your chores the first time requested by your mother.
If you can’t do your present chores, could you handle another?

It’s not too late to change your ways. Come help to dry the dishes.
Santa might be watching and decide to meet your wishes.
You have another month or two in which you could grow up
enough so you can handle caring for a pup!!!

Prompts today are caramel, workshop, premonition, lofty, responsibility, captivating.

Dietary Doldrums

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Dietary Doldrums

Her eating habits, luckily, were found to be most corrigible,
for her personality was found to still be porridgeable.
Oatmeal formed her breakfast and salads formed her lunch
as she foresook the bad foods on which she used to munch.

Buttery popcorn banished as an unhealthy mistake,
she snacked instead on kale chips for her figure’s sake.
Rare steak was  soon banished, for she relished it no more
once she foresook flesh meats, shuddering at their gore.

Her electric grinder ground chickpeas up instead
and this was the protein upon which she fed.
Healthy ever after once her war with food was won,
meals sugarless and greaseless, alas, were not much fun.

 

\Prompt words today are buttery, personality, gore, corrigible, Steak and electric. Image by Deryn Macey on Unsplash. 

Preparing for Summer

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Preparing for Summer

When your appetite starts knocking and you crave a light repast,
even though the time since your last meal seems too vast,
tie your cravings to a stanchion and curb their niggling prompt.
Do some calisthenics or take a forest romp.
Defenestrate those Oreos. Resist that peanut brittle.
It takes a lot of will power to make yourself more little.
Dieting’s not easy. Resolution is the pits,
but it will all be worth it when your favorite swimsuit fits!!!!

 

Prompts for today are: knocking, vast, defenestrate, stanchion, forest and peanut brittle.

Weekend Regression: Prompts, July 25, 2022

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Weekend Regression

On Friday night I imbibe ’till I’m jolly,
but such jubilation I’ve found is sheer folly.
Infatuated with letting off steam,
I raise up a glass with the rest of the team.

After Saturday night I have energy left,
but by Sunday night I’m worn out and bereft.
Weekends are fun-filled and rowdy and timeless,
but by their end we are blown-out and dimeless.

I realize this statement is rather reductive,
but weekends, I’ve found, are counterproductive.
Monday mornings I’m frowzy, Tuesday, not much better,
not ’till Wednesday or Thursday in finer fetter.

Ready to gear up for more Friday fun,
and a whole weekend in which to run
reckless and feckless and feeling the perks
of two whole days in which nobody works!!!!

 

Prompts today are.: left, infatuated, sheer, counterproductive, timeless, frowzy,

Restorative Rhyme

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Restorative Rhyme

When life gets too busy and I wish that I had wings
to get me free from obligations and off to greater things,
away from lists, committees and everything that’s pending,
everything that in the modern world seems to be trending,
I fly off in my thoughts instead and write a silly verse
in words I put together, absurd and even worse.
And yet in its reciting, somehow it’s rehabilitating,
wiping out those serious thoughts that were debilitating.

Prompt words are: wings, trend, great, debilitating and busy.

Expired!!!!

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Forgottenman said I have to write a birthday poem, so here it is:


Expired

I will not curb my inhibitions, and so I will not sail
off on new adventures out beyond the pale.
That powerful compunction to be off on an adventure,
ever after, I declare to have my sincere censure.

Apathy is my new creed. I simply do not care
to meet with any challenges or answer any dare.
I’ll gaze upon my garden and watch its petals fall
and when faced with challenges? Reject them one and all.

I’ve officially retired. I’m taking up TV.
I’ll sit here eating popcorn, a cat upon my knee.
I’ll make up for a lifetime of my lack of viewing
and rail against what all the youngsters of today are doing.

I’m done with being active and current and involved.
I’ve lost my former need for being current and evolved.
Forget that I exist and let me moulder in my den.
I’m both used up and giving up on all that I have been.

Three-quarters of a century’s enough for being me.
Now I will investigate what else there is to be.
I’ll expire before the date that I am due for expiration,
and simply coast along for the rest of my duration.

(Don’t worry. It is meant tongue-in-cheek.)

Prompt words today are sail, apathy, powerful, suppress and petals.

A Cherry Perfect Birthday

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A Cherry Perfect Birthday

Tomorrow we will celebrate my sixth year jubilee
with a little party just for my family.
Grandma’s going to catentate
cherries and lard and flour
and add a bit of sugar to make the fruit less sour,
then proceed to put it in the oven to cook up
into my favorite cherry pie upon which we will sup.
Thus will fruit and grain and fat conspire to create
a birthday treat the thoughts of which make me salivate.
Birds may like cherries in the wild directly off the tree,
but baked into my grandma’s pie tastes way better to me!!!!

Prompts for today are: jubilee, proceed, pastry, catenate (to join together), bird and grain.

Pink Lights and Tequila

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Pink Lights and Tequila

She met him in a barroom. His first contact was a wink,
and their time of courtship was over in a blink.
She didn’t note his platitudes and chauvinistic thinking.
That’s what comes from being wooed when a girl’s been drinking.
The impact of tequila shots has done in more than one girl,
making one who’s ordinary seem to be a fun girl.

A current ran between them. Rainbows issued from the lights,
giving a pink glow to cheeks and lower sights.
Thus did soft lights and alcohol add to their delight.
She seemed to him a princess. He seemed to be her knight.
They wed just six months later and divorced within a year.
Sparks ignited in the tavern fizzle out in life, I fear.

Prompts today are rainbow, impact, platitude, current, chauvinist and pink.