Category Archives: Humor

Day Lily, for Cee’s FOTD

 

 

For Cee’s FOTD

“The Rock Star’s Lament” for the Sunday Whirl Wordle # 591

 

 

The Rock Star’s Lament

I scan the shadows for lurking fans,
as staff surveys surrounding vans.
We know their tricks, know where they gather,
and what gets them in a lather.

Their heads snap back at full attention
when they hear the very mention
of my name and flashbulbs flash.
They ask for autographs and cash.

They reach to touch or cast me gifts.
They corner me on stairs or lifts.
They feign a faint or hum a song
I’ve just recorded as they walk along

the path they know I daily walk,
hoping for a little talk.
I should feel flattered, except that it’s
exhausting to be loved to bits!!!!

For the Sunday Whirl Wordle today, the prompt words are:
touch hum flash faint gather staff tricks head snap bits cast shadows
Thanks to Sam Moghadam on Unsplash for the image.

Loving (More Than) Spoonfuls

 

 

Loving (More Than) Spoonfuls

It seemed a meager portion for such a pricey place––
three peas, a single escargot. Potatoes? not a trace.
They’d spilled some brown stuff on the plate and dabbed a bit of green.
No wonder other diners all looked so very lean.

Two bites and the first course was gone, the plates all whisked away,
replaced by a sparse salad little more than mounds of hay.
A tiny slivered mass of yellow with seeds sprinkled over,
a spray of oil, some flower petals and a sprig of clover.

I looked my first date in the eye to see what he might think.
As he lifted a forkful, he gave a little wink.
We consumed their tiny lamb chops, complete with ruffled cuff
and scarfed the spoonful of dessert that wasn’t near enough.

He paid the bill, retrieved our coats and walked me to his car.
“I have another treat for you,” he said. “It isn’t far.”
He pulled up to McDonalds and ordered two big macs,
large French fries and two sodas and handed me the sacks.

Afterwards, at Dairy Queen, we sealed this new romance
with Butterfinger Blizzards and then a smoldering glance.
I accepted the next course with lips and arms most eager.
And what he served me next, my dear, was anything but meager.

I do not like posh restaurants with their nouvelle cuisine.
I find their foam and slivers and seeds and piles obscene.
Their single little vegetables hung on tiny racks?
I prefer larger portions and calories served in sacks!

And that is how we bonded, your Uncle Joe and I,
over Colonel Sanders, Taco Bell and carryout Thai.
Others may impress their dates with pricey gourmet suppers,
but my true love seduced with feasts of fast food filler-uppers!

In response to Linda’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, “Spoonful”

Trouble in the School Cafeteria, Jan 30, 2025

The hullabaloo
in the breakfast queue 
just had to do
with those picky few
who walked the beam
on the gymnastic team
who declared the waffle
was simply awful!
Who, at the most,
could slug down the toast!

For Esther’s “Can You tell a story in. . . . ” Challenge,  the challenge was:

Can you tell a story in 38 words? You must use the following words somewhere in the story:

  • HULLABALOO
  • QUEUE
  • SLUG
  • BEAM
  • WAFFLE

\

Scrabble Quibbles for RDP Jan 27, 2025

 

Scrabble Quibbles

Scrabble Quibbles

I move the tiles back and forth but still I cannot lick
the secret to which words may be made from my weird pick.
I cannot spell “memorial” without another “m,”
so instead I settle and simply spell out “rim.”
Before too long I find another perfect word to make,
but, alas, I do not have the “u” to spell out quake.
I spy the final “u” when my opponent shifts her rack,
and so I skip my turn to return some letters back.
And this segment of the story will prove I was to blame
when my sister drew the “q” and spelled out “quick” to win the game!

Note: the photo of the Scrabble board is of a real game, although not the one described in the poem. The reason I took the photo is because of the very unlikely occurrence of the word “urinate” showing up twice on the same board. What are the chances of not only having the right tiles to spell the same 7 letter word twice but also finding a place to play them? 

The prompt for RDP Monday is Quibble

Making up Words, for Sunday Confessionals, Jan 26, 2025

Trump-headedness is my made-up word and the definition is: A mental condition during which one spouts facts contrary to the truth in order to further one’s own welfare, ego or pocketbook.

 

For Sunday Confessionals, we were asked to create a new word for the dictionary.

“All Lined Up” for SOCS Jan 25, 2025

“All Lined Up”

Lined up at the show
and everywhere we go,
it seems like we spend half our lives in lines that move too slow.

It seems that half the doing
consists of constant queueing––
a penance that we have to pay for eating, riding, viewing.

At cafes, traffic lanes,
post offices and trains,
museums, subways, cafeterias, we make small gains.

Standing more than walking,
muttering and gawking,
our progress is so slow that there’s less moving than there’s taking.

As we go two-by-twoing,
like milkcows softly mooing,
waiting here in lines, we find that we are all-too-often ruing

leaving our house at all
to line up at the mall
I think I’d rather be at home than waiting with y’all!

Here are a few “LIned Up” visuals: (Click on photos to enlarge.)

And, for more “lined up” photos go HERE.

The SOCS prompt is “In Line.”

“Hubba Hubba!”for Fibbing Friday, Jan 24, 2025

For Fibbing Friday the challenge is:

1. What is a fib? A heart stoppage  that may be cured by a defibrillator.
2. What is a crib? The third chest bone down from the top.
3. What is a bib? The first 39.6 % of the Bible.

5. What is an antler? What you call your mother’s youngest sister.
6. Define staunch. A very strong bad odor.
7. What is a paunch?  Your father’s midday meal.
8. What is a launch? The midday meal in Great Britain.
9. What is a nub? The mirror reflection of the bread used to make a hamburger.
10. What is a hub? A reversed half-hearted cheer.

A Poem of Negation for dVerse Poets, Jan 23, 2025

Why I do not Ham on Rye it

You cannot borrow steal or buy it.
Sumo wrestlers never try it.
Female starlets do or die it.
Vitamin makers fortify it
You never cookie, cake or pie it.
Pizza parlors terrify it.
Now and then I me oh my it,
but I hope I don’t defy it,
for if I ever hope to guy it,
I simply must stay on my diet!

 

For dVerse Poets, a poem of negation.

“How Much is Enough?” for the Writer’s Digest Wed. Poetry Prompt

How Much is Enough?
(Appraising the Situation)

Enough’s too much when it comes to fish
or any other smelly dish.
Too much for castor oil in spoons
or relatives on honeymoons.
Amoebas?  Any one’s too much,
and a date who wants you to go Dutch
clearly tells you he’s not “it.”
One mosquito, when you’re bit,
is not “enough,” but “one too many.”
when your preference is “not any!”

Kids with colds and snoopy neighbors,
tiresome chores and heavy labors,
bitter pills and jerked-off scabs,
rainy days with no free cabs,
diarrhea, scabies, gout?
Too much! Too much, without a doubt!
“Enough’s enough” is repetitious,
obvious and almost vicious.

So don’t go spouting it at me.
I hate cliches from A to Z.
I won’t have any said to me.
If you use them, you’re dead to me!
“It is sufficient” I will accept.
“I’ll have no more”  is most adept.
But don’t go muttering platitudes
at folks like me with attitudes,
or I promise we’ll be getting rough
enough to prompt, “Enough’s enough!”

 

For Writer’s Digest Poetry prompt: Appraisal  Image by Tonmoy on Unsplash.