Category Archives: Humor

Free Saturday, (For Cee) For FOTD Dec 21, 2024

9 Replies

Free Saturday

Today’s the day I get to do
exactly what I want to do.
To prowl my yard both up and down
clad only in my sleeping gown.
(The air so brisk, I guess I better
also choose to wear a sweater.)
Drink my morning coffee cold,
do not one thing that I’ve been told
to do. Make not one new appointment,
no sunscreen worn or other ointment.
Merely hang out in the shade,
leave home with no arrangements made.
Perhaps I’ll shop the Christmas fair
or simply walk to get some air.
Run into friends and have some lunch
or simply choose to skip the bunch
and have a sandwich on my own,
to drift wherever I am blown
like the dandelion I tore
out of my planter. Like its spore
I’ll fly off free to create more
adventures than I’d counted on
until my day is finally done.
Unplanned, unplotted and unlisted.
My former behavior resisted.
But first, there is this prompt to do.
I simply have to take a few
photos of new flowers for Cee,
(Well, some for her and some for me.)
An hour ago, I had not any,
but now it seems I have too many.
But, unable to make the call,
I guess I’ll have to post them all!

( I really did take all these photos this morning..yes, in my nightgown. If you look closely, you can see that my plants, too, grow where they want to.  Can you find them growing out of nose, eye and ear? Click on photos to enlarge and see detail.)

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Cee!!!!

For Cee’s FOTD

More Fibbin’, Dec 20, 2024

11 Replies

For Fibbing Friday, the brain teasers this week are:

1. Why is a Pantomime thus called? Because one of her suit cuffs got caught in the lawnmower and pulled off but she still performs her act with one leg bare!
2. Why was the White Rabbit late? Pregnant.
3. What happened when Aladdin rubbed the lamp for the first time? He was double-tasking and ordering a pizza online at the same time so totally wasted his first wish on a pepperoni pizza!! It was, however, an extremely fast delivery.
4. How many ugly sisters were there? No one knew because  their habits were veiled back then.
5. What did Jack exchange for the magic beans? Bitcoin.
6. Why do they always shout ‘It’s behind you!!’ Because try as you will, you still can never remember where you keep your wallet!!
7. What was the house in the woods made of that Hansel and Gretel found?  S’witches.
8. Who owned The Mirror Mirror on the wall? A stutterer.
9. What was the name of Dick Whittington’s cat? Penileope.
10. Who was Tinkerbell? The town handyman’s girlfriend.

Oh, how I love this prompt!!!!

Photo thanks to Google.

 

My Body, for the Writer’s Workshop, Dec 19, 2024

17 Replies

 

!!!Fragile!!!

Just as I’m becoming less agile,
all of me is turning fragile.

Flesh on flesh and bone on bone,
Nature won’t leave me alone.

Bruise more easily, skin tears easier.
Looking up now makes me queasier.

Can’t be trusted on a ladder.
Larger hips but smaller bladder.

Lips are thinner, bones are brittler.
And suddenly, I’m two inches littler.

If Nature’s bound to fold and shrink me,
Really, now, wouldn’t you think she

could leave me with my height and lips
and do her shrinking around my hips?

 

The prompt for the Writer’s Workshop was to write about my body as it grows old.

Change in Dinner Plans

21 Replies

The worst part is losing my best and only glass pizza pan. Like the death of an old friend.

10:06 PM and still no dinner..

Christmas Funnies for Fibbing Friday

23 Replies

For Fibbing Friday, the challenges to lie about are:

1.  Who invented Elf on the Shelf?  That house-organizer lady you hired to come help you sort out your Xmas decorations.
2.  Have you been naughty or nice? Yes.
3.  Who or what is The Beast from the East? Can’t remember his name but I’m fairly sure Trump has appointed him to some crucial position.
4.  Who was Santa’s Little Helper? Mrs. Santa, before she put on all that weight from taste-testing her Xmas cookies.
5.  What is a Yule log? A to-do list.  First, yule do this, then this and this and this.
6.  What is marzipan? What happens when you gouge a stuck cherry pie out of the pan you baked it in.
7.  What is Egg Nog? The condition of your head after drinking too much holiday cheer.
8.  Why is there a fairy on the top of the Christmas Tree (be polite!) You are misinformed. That winged creature is an angel, not a fairy. I am “fairyly” sure of that fact.
9.  What are baubles? Tongue-tied babblings.
10. What is a tree skirt? When you cut a wide swath around the Christmas tree, fearing you’ll collide with an ornament.

For Fibbing Friday, Dec 6, 2024

7 Replies

For Fibbing Friday the questions to answer are:

1.   Who saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus?  Not daddy, that’s for sure!!!
2.   All I want for Christmas is for someone else to put the lights up on my tree.
3.   Rockin’ around the chain gang.
4.    How did Buttons get his name? From his master the tailor.
5.    I wish it could be Saturday night in 1963 on a date with my high school boyfriend.
6.    Last Christmas, I gave you Covid.
7.    Who was the eighth dwarf? Mickey Rooney.
8.   Why was Rudolph’s nose red? Minus zero degree temperatures.
9.   Why didn’t Cinderella’s glass slipper crack? It was made of polycarbonate glass.
10.  Who was the Frog Prince? Louis I de Bourbon

 

“Take 2 Aspirin,” for the Writers Workshop

8 Replies

Take 2 Aspirin––

For all the world’s diseases and all life’s little ills
they’ve been inventing medicines, elixirs, syrups, pills.
But those crafty bacteria, viruses and germs
keep running on ahead of us as we come to terms
with ways to counteract them. They’re crafty little mites
who somehow slip inside of us through food or air or bites.
So in spite of all our science—our test tubes and our beakers,
all that malevolent mini-world just don their little sneakers
and keep on evolving a little bit ahead.
Enough to keep us sneezing or roiling in our bed.

 

The Writers Workshop prompt is “Medications.”

“Within” for Quadrille Challenge on diVerse Poets, Nov 26, 2024

9 Replies

 

 

 


Within

Although they stand stiffly at attention,
these walls reach out
and hold me safe within their middle.
They stand guardian,
cushioning sound,
deflecting sharp edges.
Lucky me to have their protection.
Foolish me to leave their arms.
Yet the butterfly
soars over and away.

for dVerse Poets, the Quadrille Challenge prompt is “With.”

‘CHANGE OF MIND” for MVB, Nov 26, 2024

8 Replies

                                           DSC00177_2

Relax, it’s only henna! I get a tattoo on my lower leg every time I go to the beach. It fulfills all my contradictory impulses.

                                    Change of Mind

Tattooed pierced and branded, or to be marked for life
with patterns carved into the skin with a sterile knife?
I cannot help but tell you that I find it very strange–
this trend to decorate ourselves by means that we can’t change.

When I was in my twenties, I bought a gorgeous hat
of pink and blue with colored plumes that swayed this way and that.
But what if I had had it sewn forever to my head,
so when I desired a wedding veil, I had feathers instead?

What if those chandelier earrings I found so cool in my teens
were implanted so I couldn’t take them off by any means?
So when I trekked across the jungles, weaving through the trees,
those earrings caught upon the vines and brought me to my knees?

My hair would be a helmet, and my eyes would look so queer
if worn like I did at twenty with eyeliner ear to ear.
So I cannot help but think this child with corks stretching her lobes
might regret them in her forties as she dons her judge’s robes.

Or the youngsters with the tongue studs, one day when they are men
might regret it as the shots they drink leak out onto their chin.
I’m so glad those mini skirts I wore—a poor choice even then––
are not still sewn upon my hips now that I am more Zen.

Thank God those darker outlined colors that made our lips less thin
and those psychedelic tie-dyes are not printed in our skin.
For although our taste was laughable, at least we can repent–
for the choices that we made in youth were not permanent.

                                                      IMG_3244

And, that hat mentioned in the poem? It really existed and still does, although no, I have not worn it in over 40 years. Here it is, a side view!

The prompt for My Vivid Blog today is “Mind.” (Hope is is ok that I am rerunning a poem I wrote in 2015. Just seemed appropriate!

For Lens Artist Challenge “This Made Me Smile!”

11 Replies

Click on photos to enlarge and read captions!

Being silly in Singapore–Tiger Balm Gardens–1968
Everyone needs a friend to be silly with.
Aunt Stella being silly at a family picinic. I was imitating her!

For Lens Artist Challenge 326