Category Archives: Humor

for Fibbing Friday, Nov 22, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday the words to define this week are:

1.    Airag: An unkind statement made by a stewardess while aloft.
2.   Balut: Rudolf Nureyev’s personal male attendant, responsible for his clothes and appearance
3.   Beondegi: Where be de word “giant” on de Scrabble board!!!
4.   Durian: What the Balinese couple named their stinky baby.
5.   Escamoles: Inuit sauces.
6.   Hákarl: The fourth Marx brother.
7.   Khash: What Kim Kardashian calls her private stash.
8.   Salo: The reduction of prices in a store in Mexico.
9.   Scrapple: An argument over the legitimacy of a Scrabble word.
10. Stargazey Pie: What the observatory restaurant serves for dessert.

Skipped Out, for MVB

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Skipped Out

It was a wretched theory. They postulated that
if we’d all collaborate, we’d lose all of our fat.
They weren’t very subtle. They gave us tubes of stuff
to squeeze over the food we ate, but never quite enough.
We had to buy the second batch, and prices just kept rising,
but we never lost a pound—a result not surprising.
Later, they skipped out of town—an act our friends found funny.
They told us from the first the only thing we’d lose is money!!!

For MVB: Skipped

Happy Medium

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                                          Happy Medium

I’m no rocket scientist,
but neither do I drool.
I once was an icon––
valedictorian in my school.
Living on a pension,
spending most days on my couch,
I’ve kept my sense of humor
and not become a grouch!!!

For Esther’s “Can you tell a story in. 39 words”   the words are:

  • ICON
  • DROOL
  • PENSION
  • ROCKET
  • COUCH

 

Excerpts from Heather Cox Richardson Letters from an American, Sept 12, 2024

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In a speech to about 550 people in Tucson, Arizona, Trump insisted he had scored a “monumental victory” in the debate, referred to Minnesota governor Tim Walz as the vice president, slurred his words, and appeared to be having trouble reading off the teleprompters. CNN tonight compared one of Trump’s 2016 debates with Hillary Clinton to his performance on Tuesday, and the difference was stark.

Psychiatrist Richard A. Friedman wrote in The Atlantic today that Trump is showing signs of cognitive decline. His tangents and inability to get to a point suggest “a fundamental problem with an underlying cognitive process.” “If a patient presented to me with the verbal incoherence, tangential thinking, and repetitive speech that Trump now regularly demonstrates, I would almost certainly refer them for a rigorous neuropsychiatric evaluation to rule out a cognitive illness,” he wrote.

Trump continues to try to dominate the political debate by refusing to back off any of his assertions, doubling down on the lies about immigrants eating pets and teachers giving students sex change operations. He called Harris a “Marxist communist fascist socialist,” clearly just stringing words together.

Meanwhile, he is giving off vibes of desperation. This afternoon he announced he would launch his crypto platform “World Liberty Financial” on X Spaces on September 16, hardly the sign of a presidential candidate convinced he’s about to regain his position as the leader of the free world.

It has been notable for a while that Trump’s wife, Melania, is nowhere to be seen, and Trump has begun to cling to provocateur Laura Loomer, who has vowed utter loyalty to Trump and is evidently quite happy to be seen with him. This is a problem for the Republican Party because of her history of conspiracy theories and open racism. As Joe Perticone and Marc Caputo of The Bulwark note, Loomer has referred to Vice President Harris as a “drug using prostitute,” for example, and suggested she has not given birth to children because “she’s had so many abortions that she damaged her uterus.”

Loomer’s extremism has made other Trump supporters urge him to keep her at a distance, sparking an embarrassing public fight. Two of those trying to get Trump to isolate Loomer are Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA). Their chilliness prompted Loomer to fight back on social media, questioning Graham’s sexual identity and calling attention to Greene’s extramarital affair and comparing her to a “hooker.”

 

 

For Fibbing Friday, Aug 30, 2024

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Image by Mike Kotsch on Unsplash

For Fibbing Friday,  The task at hand is:

1.  What is a gigolo? A short laugh.
2.  What is meant by paramount?  Two mounted horses, walking abreast
3.  What is a scenario? The breaking of any one of the Ten Commandments  in the second most populous city of Brazil.
4.  How many fingers do fish have? None. They are all periodically removed, breaded, fried, fast-frozen and packaged to sell in supermarkets.
5.  What is a bell hop? A debutant ball in the South.
6.  Why do pets ‘shed’? Because they find his comments embarrassing.
7.  What is the difference between toilet tissue and toilet paper? One you read to pass time on the potty and the other you use when you are finished reading and ready to “depot.”
8.  What is a chalet? A short jerky movement executed while dancing the cha cha 
9.  What is a clog? What a blogger calls his or her writer’s block.
10. Why can Lego™ be dangerous? Because someone free soloing up the face of a  mountain might obey someone who thoughtlessly shouts it from below!!!!

Ode to My Doctor, For My Vivid Blog prompt, Aug 26, 2024

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Ode to My Doctor, Who Has Done Little to Curry My Favor

Each of these foods you suggest for my diet
has not one feature to urge me to try it.
The chard is too leafy, the kale makes me gag.
I will be affianced to naught in this bag.

This fluffy green spinach would be best in a dip
with sour cream and onions and served on a chip.
I have not one vestige of an urge to consume it
raw in a salad, so do not assume it

will ever pass lips as selective as mine.
I need carbohydrates and meat when I dine.
Do you get the message that I’m on the outs
with arugula, collard greens, beet greens and sprouts?

My palate’s delighted when it comes to spice.
A molé is lovely and a curry is nice,
but please put some meat in it. I’m a contrarian
when you attempt to turn me vegetarian.

For My Vivid Blog, today’s prompt is “Doctor.” I wrote this poem three years ago, but I’m still of the same opinion.

For Fibbing Friday, Aug 23, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday  the day’s task is: These are all legitimate medications, but how would you describe them (does not have to be medicine)?

1. Ciprofloxacin: The eighth deadly sin.

2. Domperidone: An expensive wine.

3. Idebenone: What I’d be if I’d never been born.

4. Anakinra: A 19th century tragedy by Leo Tolstoy

5. Cisplatin: Braiding my sister’s hair.

6. Pancuronium: A radioactive treatment used to cure pancreatic cancer.

7. Xgeva: What I gave my former best friend for Christmas.

8. Dihydroergotamine: Advice shouted to my friend Diane’s friend standing on the sideline during our marathon race   that I have my water but to give her more to drink!!!

9. Bloxiverz: A poem written for one’s blog.

10. Phosex: Making love long distance.

Old-Fashioned Attention for MVB prompt, Aug 22, 2024

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IMG_4387

Lunch Date

One thing I’d like that I will mention
is some old-fashioned attention.
The kind with no device in hand
is the kind that I can stand
better than the sort with texting—
minds caught in “before” and “next”ing—
and not a thought for whom you’re with
until I’m sure that it’s a myth
that I’m the one you want to see,
even though you have invited me.

For though our table is for two,
you bring so many more with you—
every relative and friend.
Your texts to them just never end.
Our tete a tete‘s become absurd.
I never get to speak a word!
Since I’ve discovered you’ve come to see
your smart phone as more smart than me,
there’s just one thing I’d like to state.
Please cancel our next luncheon date,
and the next time you desire a munch,
just take your iPhone out to lunch!

FOR MY VIVID BLOG PROMPT: OLD-FASHIONED

“Parting Words,” For My Vivid Blog, Aug 19, 2024

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Parting Words

Before Rhett Butler went on the lam,
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
was his parting imprecation
before he he left on his vacation.

For My Vivid Blog the prompt is Profanity.

“My Shoes Go Out Without Me” for What Do You See Prompt, Aug 19, 2024

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My Shoes

My shoes go out without me. They do it all the time,
and do the things I never do. They jog. They hike. They climb.
When I wake up I find them strewn throughout the house—
one flip flop on the counter. High heels beneath my blouse
that’s flung across the table where I don’t remember putting it.
I bet they’ve been out dancing—two-stepping and high-footing it.

When my cowboy boots go riding, I’d like to go along.
I’m pretty sure, however, they think things would go wrong.
Perhaps the horse would throw me or I’d wind up getting lost.
I’m sorry that I bought them, considering the cost!
Other people are the boss of all their clothes and shoes,
but when my shoes and I face off, I am the one to lose.

I could take to going barefoot. This would work while at the beach.
Then when all my shoes are out far beyond my reach,
into the surf I’ll wade and then wander out again,
trapping sand between my toes everywhere I’ve been.
So when my shoes get home at night, they’ll be completely clueless
that I’ve left them out as well by venturing out shoeless!

For What Do You See?