Category Archives: Humor

Nutty Answers for Fibbing Friday, Jan 12, 2024

 

 

For Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday  the prompts to define are:

1. Meldrop  Delivery for Mr. Gibson
2. Snirl  A half-hearted snarl
3. Kiffle Indecision over whether to bestow a kiss or not
4. Fox’s Cough  A fortunate warning for the hare
5. Sternutament  What mom asks you to do to the batter for her cashew cake  while she goes to answer the phone.
6. Awvish  Someone given to being overwhelmed
7. Presenteeism  An overwhelming tendency to attend
8. Headwarch  The dominant member of a coven
9. Kink-Haust  Living in a morally depraved dwelling
10. Alysm A belief that everything is equally good in the world.

Fire and Ice for Wordle 636

Fire & Ice

The fatal flakes of swirling snow
covered everything below,
including picnickers too frail
to withstand the frozen gale.

Framed in words, alas, more gory
than what was the actual story,
the fading flame of their last fire
was said to be their funeral pyre.

But they who replace truth with fable
sometimes choose to turn the table,
feigning facts with spurious lies,
creating fiction in its guise.

The truth is that the icy glaze
that covered lovers was just a phase,
for just before it was too late,
they hopped aboard a passing freight,
then jumped off at a neighboring town
where they flagged a taxi down.

Those bodies reduced to mere ember
scattered under snow-decked timber
were not human, but slabs of veal
placed in the fire form their meal.

But since such legends are mostly truthless,
they fabricate details more ruthless.
And that is why, finding the fire,
they named that hollow “The Lovers’ Pyre.”

 

For The Sunday Whirl Wordle 636 the word prompts are: fatal flakes frame phase feign fable fame favor freight flame frail fade

Penultimate/Ultimatepen, For The Daily Prompt, Jan 5, 2024

Penultimate/Ultimatepen

He said they couldn’t fence him for he liked to roam free.
No sty could ever hold him. No captive pig was he.
That he was a wild pig was true without a doubt.
As soon as they would pen him in, in seconds he’d break out.
But the farmer, too, was resolute. As his prize pig departed,
he vowed that he’d contain him. He wouldn’t be outsmarted.

He built a sturdy metal fence, and then he strung it higher—
woven fine and tight of the premium barbed wire.
Then he caught Porky and closed him in, determined that he’d win,
for it wasn’t up to any pig to refuse his fencing-in.
But indeed the pig devised again a means by which he left,
leaving the farmer feeling defeated and bereft.

Once more caught and then re-penned and taking his repast,
the pig had not a clue that this meal would be his last.
This escape his penultimate, now the die was cast.
His days of glorious freedom, alas, were in the past.
Then, his last meal finished, he made his next advance
toward a fence reconstructed, ready to take his chance.

But, alas, he’d met his match. Escape would never be,
for the farmer had infused the fence with electricity.
This time not the penultimate, it was the ultimate pen,
for Porky has been seen, I fear, just one more time since then.
Spread out on a platter, an apple in his jaws,
his final feat a foolish one, bound to give one pause.

When he said they couldn’t pen him in, I fear poor Porky lied,
for when he hit the fence this time, in minutes, he was fried.
Ham that he was, I fear that poor Porky’s lot was cast.
For the pen after the penultimate turned out to be his last.
Probably not the first time a pig who was a sinner
paid the price for it by turning into Easter dinner.


For The Daily Prompt: Penultimate

What are These??? For Fibbing Friday, Jan 5, 2024

Toecover: My attempt at remembering the word for socks now that I am at a certain advanced age.

Scurryfunge: A form of mildew found on rodents.

Dutch Feast: Edam and stoopwafel.

Iktsuarpok: An expression of revulsion over a walking companion who walks at a too- slow rate. (Icks! You are poke!!!  (As in slowpoke.) I admit, it is a stretch.  How about, Someone agreeing that people named Katy make good contortionists? (Aye, Katies, warp okay!! ) This is a redo because Derrick took occasion to my first answer. Must admit, I don’t blame him. This one is a real stretch!  Let’s blame it on Pensitivity.

Rakefire: When the boss terminated your employment for jilting his daughter

Hufflebuffs: An affectionate synonym  for bare bottoms

Quafftide: Skinny-dipping at high tide.

Kalopsia: An involuntary nap brought on by over-eating

Cover Slut: The Kardashians’ tongue-in-cheek endearing nicknames for each other

“Wonder”clout: Using one’s seniority to get to the head of the “bread”line at the homeless  shelter.

For  yet another Fibbing Friday. I can’t resist.

“Lucky Roll, Wrong Decision” For One Word Sunday: Three

 

 

This is a grand coincidence, for I really did roll six threes in one roll in a game of Ten Thousand two days ago!  This is a first in years of playing this game.  My friend I was playing with insisted that when one rolled six of a kind in the game that it was an automatic win, but I insisted on playing through, taking only the 2400 points that the roll would garner.  And can you believe it, she got to 10,000 before me!  So much for nobility in dice-rolling! At any rate, it gave me the perfect photo for this challenge. And yes, I really did take a photo of my roll. This is not a staged photo.

For One Word Sunday: Three

Taking A Hike

My Shoes

My shoes go out without me. They do it all the time,
and do the things I never do. They jog. They hike. They climb.
But when my shoes get home at night, they’ll be completely clueless
that I’ve left them out as well by venturing out shoeless!

 

For Greg’s Four-Line Fiction

“Slang with a Bang” For Fibbing Friday. Last of the Year!! 2023

Auld slang syne this week: Your interpretations please!

1. Sling your hook: What the doctor said he was going to do to Mohammed Ali when he was taken to the emergency ward with a broken left arm after his last fight.
2. Here’s mud in your eye: What the female mud wrestler said to her opponent just before she trashed her eye makeup.
3. Bun in the oven: Describing Jennifer Lopez as she stuck her head into the oven to test the temperature.
4. Twinkle Toes: Anyone going barefoot in the Mardgras parade.
5. Moolah: Money spent on enlarging one’s cattle herd.
6. Brazillian: A new term above million and trillion that described Playtex’s total income.
7. Airhead: What they call the bathroom on a jet.
8. Goof off: The challenge is not punctuated correctly.  It is what Goofy said to Pluto when he was ready for him to abandon his lap. It should read,
               Goof: “Off!”   
9. Mickey Mouse: Request made by Cinderella, arriving home exhausted from the ball. Also a bit tipsy, thus her stutter as well as her need to request help in opening the door from one of her tiny rodent companions. “Mi-c-key, Mouse!”
10. Razz: Really good with Red Beans.

For Pensivity’s Fibbing Friday. Dec 29, 2023  Image by Lawrence Makoonah on Unsplash

Can’t Help It. Gotta Do Another Xmas Posting!!!!

Xmas Traditions Explained (For Fibbing Friday Dec 22, 2023)

                                                          Leave Santa alone, Kids. He’s exhausted!!

1. Ever wondered why they call them Christmas Carols? Because Bob was already associated with bobbing for apples on Halloween, Ted was busy spreading hay for the manger and Alice was busy looking at herself in the looking glass. ( Confused? See “Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice”)

2. Why do we put a fairy on top of the Christmas Tree? We didn’t. It just kept flying up there.

3. Are St Nicholas and Old Nick the Jekyll and Hyde of Christmas? No. Old Nick is just the natural result of St. Nick’s exposure to so much carbon chimney buildup and air travel over the centuries.

4. Why do we traditionally kiss under the mistletoe? The practice started because approximately 1/2 of the world’s population is actually allergic to mistletoe and the other 1/2 needs to give them artificial respiration therapy.

5. Why is it Christmas lights work when we put them away but don’t when we take them out the following year? Because you have to remember to unplug them before putting them away!!!!

6. Why are pigs in blankets so called? Because they are cold and this is a natural response to chillbains..

7. Should we have cream or custard on mince pies? Yes.

8. How did a Christmas Stocking originate? When Santa heard there was much mischief afoot during the year and decided he needed a method of bribery to put an end to it.

9. Do you like the idea of a white Christmas?  Well, yes. Much more than its actuality.

10. Have you been naughty or nice? Yes. You can guess which.

Red-faced.The Devil made me do it.

For Fibbing Friday

Who Sang That, Anyhow? For Fibbin’ Friday, Dec. 15, 2023

Classic Christmas hits, but can you suggest alternative artists for them?

1. Wherever you are: Blind Faith
2. Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree: The Chain Gang
3. That’s my Goal: Joe Namath and the Lime-Liners
4. Mistletoe and Wine: Alan Shephard taking solace while recovering from a bad case of athlete’s foot after returning from the Moon landing.
5. I saw Mommy kissin’ Santa Claus: Truman Hanks, the night his dad Tom came home sporting full-costume during the filming of Polar Express.
6. All I want for Christmas: Melanie Trump, handing Donald a map of the U.S.
7. Sound of the Underground: The Moles (yes, a real group)
8. Jingle Bell Rock A trio comprised of *Barry Manilow, Alexander Graham Bell and Elvis. 
9. Can we fix it: The White House Plumbers
10. Somethin’ Stupid. Hate to quote the obvious, but come on now: Donald Trump

*Known as “The King of the Commercial Jingle.)

 

For Pensivity’s Fibbin’ Friday, Dec. 15, 2023  Illustration by Little Plant on Unsplash.