Category Archives: humorous poem

Scrooge Holds Forth on Christmas

8 Replies

Scrooge Holds Forth on Christmas

It can be a bit frenetic, this yearly Yuletide season,
creating a fiasco beyond any rhyme or reason.
It carries us along on a tide of fir and holly,
demanding we be spirit-filled and reverent and jolly

until we’re nearly saturated with the Yultide spirit,
kind of sick of Christmas before we’re even near it.
All this peace and loving can be a royal pain—
pine needles barely cleared away before they’re here again.

We’re blanketed in blessings, gift-wrapped and over-gay
in an over-decorated binge-filled treacle holiday.
Oh for just one Christmas without reindeer-decked pajamas,
on a sun-filled beach somewhere—perhaps in the Bahamas!!!!

Prompts today are Yuletide, blanket, nearly, fiasco, carry and royal.

Over Zealous Under Zero

23 Replies

Over Zealous Under Zero

The icicles are monstrous, yet I’m being diplomatic
and trying not to alter my friend’s hopeful schematic.
Feeling if I squelch her passionate ambition
that in the future I will suffer some sort of attrition.

So I’ll take a hike with her in regions rough and hilly,
never mentioning that I’m feeling over-chilly.
My rating of both temperature and walk is less than zero,
but I’ll keep my mouth shut, thereby ranking as a hero!

Prompts today are icicle, diplomatic, rating, attrition, monstrous and so. Last photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash. Rest, by me.

Mostly Covered

4 Replies

Mostly Covered

Sheep keep snug because they’re fully
covered by a coat that’s wooly
rising right up from their thighs
to the heads above their eyes.
(Though why their legs and feet aren’t covered,
not one of us has yet discovered,)

 

The two remaining prompt words today are wooly and rise.
Neither of these prompts had been published yet when I wrote my earlier poem, so here they are with one of their very own. Image by Judith Prins on Unsplash.

Paragon

8 Replies

Paragon

I’m a paragon of virtue. I don’t eat me any carbs.
My comebacks are not prickly. My rejoinders bear no barbs.
I never take shortcuts. My work habits are precise.
I’m sure you can foresee that I won’t practice any vice.

I have huge moral fiber. My ethics can’t be beat.
I do not gossip, lie or steal. I do not fight or cheat.
I’m studious and ethical. My boss says I’m a smartie,
but as you might have guessed by now, not much fun at a party!!!

Prompt words today are paragon, foresee, huge and shortcut.

I took this photo of a friend’s dinner when we went out to listen to music last Friday night. Decided that come what may, I’d use it as an illustration for today’s prompt words, only four of which had been posted by the time I decided to write this. As you can see, it is a bit of a stretch, but a resolution is a resolution!

Duelling Chefs

5 Replies

Duelling Chefs

I try to think up a riposte
to my neighbor’s blatant boast
his guacamole is the best,
well-noted for its creamy zest.

He made it for my solstice party,
cilantro sprigs to make it arty.
And, concerned that we’d run out,
he brought an extra carton out.

Superfluous, for, undiminished,
even his first bowl went unfinished,
for I made guacamole, too,
and it was mine that counted coup.

The two were polar opposites.
Mine was the best. His was the pits.
For though his pot of guac was fine,
I put the pot inside of mine!

Prompt words today are solstice, superfluous, riposte,

polar, concern and carton. Image by Yakshi Virmani on Unsplash.

 

Egg Carton Flowers: Art Day at Judy’s House–Wordle 582

7 Replies

(Click on Photos to enlarge.)

Egg Carton Flowers: Art Day at Judy’s House

Fairy breath and greedy flush, scissors, paper glue—
they go about the mutual task of everything they do.
Twin sisters, they spill out in life, perpetually torn
apart since that rude splitting the day that they were born.

One demands the pink paint, the other requests blue—
their lips stained orange by Cheetos, fingers covered by goo.
Voices raspy with excitement, they call each other’s bluff
as their grandma hisses fondly, “Girls, that is enough!”

The yellowing sun descends to orange as they end their day
out on the back terrace where they have gone to play.
Safe now that frisky littler dogs are locked behind the screen,
they pet the Scottie’s matted hair, soothed by his gentler mien.

Inside, their older sister helps us clear away their messes.
Not the first time, right? I ask, “No, not quite,” she  confesses.
She fondly rinses paint brushes and points out the incredible—
blue fingerprints on cookies that someone had turned inedible.

The prompt words are bluff torn spill yellowing fairy breath greedy flush soothed safe hiss raspy for Wordle 583 on The Sunday Whirl
Last photo by Harriet Hart. Others by me.

When my good friend Harriet asked if I’d think up a project for her visiting grandaughters, I was pleased to have an excuse to get to know these lovely young ladies. Egg carton flowers it was!!!!

Lemonade Stand!!!!

8 Replies

 

A Lemonade Stand!!!!

Teetotalers do not mind
refreshments of the softer kind.
A lemon sliced, plump and terete
once squeezed, they feel, cannot be beat.
A lemonade is sure to please,
their thirst to quench and thus appease.

On the other hand, some folks
consider drinks like this as jokes.
They prefer their lemons sliced this way
along with mint served in a spray
that serves as garnish or a kicker
for a drink that’s laced with liquor.

Liquids served with temperance
will rarely warrant a defense.
In short order, they will rate
demands at once for a rebate!!!
If you serve lemonade, please thin it
with hefty slugs of gin within it!!!!

 

Prompt words today are terete, rebate, lemonade, appease, spray and mind.

Mismatched

8 Replies

Mismatched

By what draconian measures might you cure your spouse of snoring?
No amount of pushing, shoving, poking, shouting, roaring
will rouse him from his sleep, and it does no good to smudge him.
No pungent fumes from spruce or sage can do a thing to budge him.
As maddening as a girl might find a husband who is boring,
there is no match more irritating than  one prone to snoring.

Prompt words today are it, spouse, draconian, spruce, push and pungent.

We’ll Be Having S’mores!

10 Replies

We’ll Be Having S’mores!

He’ll rid the cupboards of food he abhors
and refurbish them with the makings for s’mores:
marshmallows, Hershey bars and then for backers,
he’ll purchase a surplus of packs of graham crackers.

A triple pleasure, this snack is the star
of any snack found in packet or jar.
Let the unimaginative shop in stores
for pre-made snacks. He’ll be serving us s’mores!

Prompt words today are triple, unimaginative, marshmallow, refurbish, star, surplus. Photos  by  Autumn  Mott  and  Jessica Rusce on Unsplash.

 

Cantankerous

7 Replies

Cantankerous

Grandpa is displaying his usual disposition,
expressing all his anger with excessive exposition.
He’s feeling most litigious and says that all the dang
liberals and Democrats should be sentenced to hang!

To Hell with all the secrecy. Sound the fire sirens
and lynch all left wing voters found in our environs. 
If it were up to him they’d draw and quarter, limb-from-limb
every gol-durn voter who does not vote like him!

Prompt words today are hang, litigious, secrecy, disposition, sound. Image by Charles Buchler on Unsplash.

Fiction, Dolly!!!!