Tag Archives: poem about sports ineptitude

For Writing Prompts: Team

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Poor Sport

I’ve never climbed a mountain.
I don’t dive in the sea.
Team sports are simply pastimes
that don’t agree with me.

I cannot bat or pitch or catch.
A baseball skill I lack;
and when I tried at tetherball,
it hit me in the back.

I flinched and ducked, then stood back up,
tried once more for the ball;
but when I missed, got hit again
and took another fall.

I ski a lot upon my back
and when I swim I sink.
The water I can handle well
is in my kitchen sink.

In grade school when we played those games
involving run and chase,
I was the last one chosen;
for I never won a race.

I did not shine at tennis,
nor at volleyball.
When it comes to doing sport,
I find I’ve flunked them all.

Bowling, golf and badminton,
croquet and racquetballing
are talents I just don’t possess.
They simply aren’t my calling.

I fear I lack the focus
to hit balls with stick or hand.
To me, it’s hocus-pocus.
I’d rather join the band.

In games that take sports prowess,
my teammates rave and rant
that I do not play kick-the-can,
but rather, kick-I-can’t.

Some people lacking talent,
coordination, speed—
simply choose spectator sports
to fill their sportly need.

But I don’t like watching football,
your soccer or your hockey;
and when it comes to horse racing,
I neither bet nor jockey.

I admit, at sports I am
the worst you’ve ever seen.
So stop expecting more of me.
I simply lack the gene!!

For Esther’s Writing Prompts: Team

Keyboard Athlete

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jdbphto

Keyboard Athlete

Not a great sportswoman—champion of none.
I sport a camera when having my fun.
My skill is not measured in baskets or bases.
I score my points while clicking at faces.

Though I’m not the most physical person you’ll meet,
I do exercise caution when crossing the street.
My main lack of muscle tone’s merely because
My pushup experience is mainly in bras.

As you vault over hurdles and excel at tennis,
the extensions I do are less of a menace.
Though I’m not an expert at sprinting or jogging,
my fingers are well-toned through everyday blogging.

 The prompt word today was “champion.”

Marathon Confusion

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Marathon Confusion

There stands my wimpy neighbor John
next to that tall bronzed Amazon.
He’s looking sort of pale and wan
there on the local courthouse lawn
wishing the others would be gone
so he could vanish over yon.
He’s feeling rather put-upon,
for when asked by his buddy Ron
to join this charity marathon,
he thought it was a phonathon!

Imagine his extreme reaction,
for he has not the slightest fraction
of running talent nor attraction
to any sports-like interaction.
To him, athletics are abstraction.
Since he’s much given to inaction,
mobility’s a mere distraction.
He’d commit some lane infraction,
suffer a spinal compaction,
and probably wind up in traction!

For, although his finger’s ready,
his running legs are less than steady.
He knows this charity’s a good one,
and though he wishes that he could run,
wishes do not equal training,
and he’s not into muscle straining.
Prepared today to call for them,
he’s not prepared to fall for them.
He will not join this running faction.
instead, he’s calling in his action.

 

The prompt today was marathon.