Tag Archives: silly poem

Compositionally Befuddled

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Compositionally Befuddled

I’m not the beneficiary of your gift for words.
My acumen for spinning tales is simply for the birds.
When I type, the words roll out but they’re not all right.
Then the need to sort them out ends up as my plight.

I need a thesaurus for the simplest of statements.
I ask for enlargements when I really seek abatements.
I chafe under the rub of words, waiting for a rebuke.
Although I want a kumquat, I wind up with a cuke.

I could use some help most days when choosing words to keep.
Sometimes I have nightmares rifling through words in my sleep.
So when I err, be kind my friends, for I fear it’s true
that I have scant facility for what I choose to do!!!

 

Prompt words today are keep, type, rebuke, chafe, beneficiary and thesaurus.

Unsolicited Advice

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Unsolicited Advice

With buckets of advice and a blizzard of suggestions,
and prolific answers to all of life’s great questions,
he blusters and pontificates and tells us how to live
with advice he never follows, but which, nonetheless, he gives.

He imparts his wisdom to everyone he meets:
from how to run your business to your life between the sheets.
Advice on morals, love and sex (all in his domain)
make even brief encounters such a royal pain.

You know he’ll scratch his whiskers and open up his yap
and once again you will be caught in his vocal trap.
And so you’ve found that at first sight, you must avoid detection
by altering your footsteps to an alternate direction.

Prompt words today are whiskers, sheet, prolific, bluster, bucket and blizzard. Image by Roberto Quezada on Unsplash.

Kudzu

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Kudzu

By the statue of the satyr where the kudzu is the thickest,
I toil pulling roots out, and I swear I am the quickest.
Every place I see the vine, I vow that I will best it.
I remove  it from the soil, conquering it lest it
cover all my property from here up to the sea,
knowing if it had its way, that it would cover me!!!

Prompt words today are satyr, place, kudzu, toil, root and me.

Infirm Ingratitude

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(Click on photos to enlarge)


Infirm Ingratitude

Since I broke my arm and leg and am out of commission,
all my friends and neighbors have assumed it as a mission
to bring us over casseroles—two or three a day.
Way too many meals-on-wheels for us to put away.

Not one of us encouraged them, yet they seem to compete
in conjuring up mixtures that they feel that we should eat!
And though it’s rude to quibble over what it has elicited,
allow me to point out that all this food was unsolicited.

One concoction more has just wound up at my door
that I know my family is sure to abhor.
That the dogs and cats won’t eat it is our in-family joke. 
I’d put it down the drain, but our garbage disposal broke.

My husband says it’s wasteful to throw out all this food,
but I would have to chain up my picky-eater brood
and pry their clenched jaws open to get them to just taste
all this food my husband has said I shouldn’t waste!!!

Yet I’ve lately noticed that he, too, seems way less able
to consume the edibles delivered to our table.
So I’ve devised a plan and tonight is my rehearsal
for my plot to deal with leftover food dispersal.

My broken leg is slowing down the speed with which I dash
to sneak out after midnight bearing our inedible trash.
I lug the laden bags out with my one good arm,
hoping that my passing won’t trigger the alarm

to turn the backyard floodlights on to wake up all the neighbors
so that they can witness my furtive nightly labors.
Now it is my incentive to speedily get well
just to end this present culinary Hell!!!!

Prompts today are: chains, concoction, unsolicited, quibble, compete and encourage.

Wedding Ows

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Wedding Ows

Our wedding plans are complicated by the groom’s lasciviousness
that I find incongruous to his vows of  exclusivi”us”ness.
That marriage vows will tame him I fear will prove misleading.
He’ll make his heart available  as long as it is beating
to any passing lady who looks in his direction,
a fact which as you see has not escaped his bride’s detection.
You might think I’m a martyr to forgive this faithless phony,
but I am looking forward to the future alimony!

Prompt words today are complicated, available, lasciviousness, patient, incongruous and misleading. Image by Nathan Walker on Unsplash.

A Cautionary Tale

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A Cautionary Tale

I’m held spellbound by your plan. It is ingenious for sure.
You might be a benefactor and your motives may be pure,
but still you are a diplomat and know your way around
all of the maneuverings that daily may be found

in politics and daily life and so I wonder why
the minute that I said I’d sell, you made an offer to buy.
Is it, as you say, because you know I need the cash,
or are your motives otherwise and have I been too rash

in leaping at your offer? Perhaps I’ll look around
and see if there’s a better deal waiting to be found.
Conspiracies are floating ’round. I hear there is an air full.
In politics and real estate, you cannot be too careful.

 

Prompt words today are spellbound, why, benefactor, ingenious, diplomatic. Image by Maria Lin Kim Luhn on Unsplash

Pro or Con?

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Pro or Con?

Sternutation means to sneeze—
(to create a noisy breeze)
but no one knows what perturbation
might be set off by a  sternation.
Could it be the sternum’s action
when it raises in reaction
caused by the excessive sneezing,
coughing, sputtering and wheezing
brought on by the summer gusts
that stir up pollen, raise up dust?

At the height of of last year’s forum
where we barely drew a quorum,
we discussed the summer pollen
that had lately daily fallen.
Prodigals returning home
bemoaned the flower bits and loam
raised into the gusty air
that stripped the flowers and pathways bare.

It’s true folks stare when you are sneezing,
but perhaps you find this pleasing.
If raised sternums cause sternation,
causing your lungs full dilation,
perhaps it is good for you
to rid your lungs of dust and goo.
So tell me, when you’re on vacation,
Are you pro or consternation?

Prompt words today are forum, height, stare, prodigal, summer and consternation.

Flipped

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Flipped

Do you feel a bit off-kilter,
like your life has lost its filter,
friends are either crass or boring,
same old stories leave you snoring,
news from north, east, west and south
has you foaming at the mouth?

What politicians have to say
more like folklore every day?
The world more than you can abide
now that our heroes all have died?
How do you sift the lies from fact—
determine how you should react?

Ladies and gents, I have to say
that I do not know the way
to save a world that’s in a pickle.
Best that we just toss a nickel
and see what way the flipped coin goes.
Heads are yesses, tails are noes!!!!

Prompt words today are filter, boring, foaming, react, folklore and lady. Image from Unsplash.

Absent Hearted, Feb 14, 2023

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Absent Hearted

On the shirt tails of Christmas and the dregs of New Year’s Eve,
comes a celebration only the most naive
dare to overlook and refuse to celebrate
by offering a valentine and/or a special date
with sentimental offerings—a heart-shaped box of candy.
(Jewelry or even a small bouquet is dandy.)

I advise you take my wise advice and that you beware.
If you do not mind me and sit there in your chair
viewing reruns on TV and do not heed my warning,
take me at my word. You will be punished in the morning.
Your breakfast will be cold.  Also, your spouse’s shoulder
will, without a doubt, be forty degrees colder!

Prompt words today are celebrate, punish, dregs, sentimental, chair.  Images all from Unsplash.

Creative Process

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Creative Process

With 4/5ths of my life now in the past,
I am trying to pen some thoughts that will last.
I tackle the prompt words and as they pop by,
off of the screen and into my eye,
they proceed past the junction of optic nerve and brain,
link couplings and thereby become a word train.

As they leave my brain and into my fingers,
almost in seconds, not one of them lingers.
They rush past my fingers and onto the screen
where they’re determined to finally be seen.
Was I their author? Don’t be absurd.
This poem was merely writ by the word!!!

Prompts today are tackle, high, junction, past,  (Two fewer than usual, as two of the prompts had not been posted by the time I started writing this.) Photo by Clarissa Watson on Unsplash