Tag Archives: silly poem

Tall Tales: The Rest of the Story

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Tall Tales: The Rest of the Story

It is my conjecture that you’re given to embellish
all of your old stories that you recite with such relish.
Your lyrical relation at such volume and such length
has informed us of your valor, your virility and strength.

Your life stories, meant to guide us, seem to form a primer for
how to conduct a perfect life behavior but what’s more,
should tell us about settlements and suits that might occur
because in spite of all the truths you proclaim and aver,

folks with all the answers can be a pain to bear—
the sort that former comrades want to get out of their hair.
So former wives and partners might seek to find surcease
by divorce or severance of contract or of lease.

So, after you have told your tales of glory at your leisure,
will you tell your tales of suit, foreclosure and of seizure?
If there’s a moral to the story, I have to say that it’s
that those who tell the longest stories tend to leave out the best bits.

Prompt words for today are: guide, conjecture, lyrical, relish and settlement. Image by Camila Quintero on Unsplash.

Cryogenic Ponderings

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Cryogenic Ponderings

I hear that they’re researching cryogenic preservation,
and I admit I view it with a certain hesitation.
I’m drawn to such longevity, but must admit I worry
about what aftereffects such a heedless act might curry.

As wily as I now may be, as cunning and as clever,
will irresistible qualities remain with me forever?
Will I be packed with garlic to keep me fresh and bugless?
Will I still be so sexy after eons going hugless?

Can minds be kept as fresh as flesh? Can kind hearts be conserved?
Can intellect and soul be saved and memory preserved?
What good will body do one in a thousand years or more
if they can not conserve those things we hold here in our core?

Prompt words today are drawn, irresistible, wily, garlic and cryogenic.
Image by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash.

 

Not Missin’ Dissin’

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Not Missin’ Dissin’

I’m inclined to winnow out
friends who grouse and whine and pout.
I prefer to share my housing
with companions much more rousing.
It’s not that I’m beyond reproach,
for my mood’s been known to encroach
upon the moods of those around me,
yet, within reason, I surround me
with folks of a happier bent
who, if they rail and curse and vent,
do so at a minimum
and once they’ve finished feeling glum,
do not make their own frustration
part of my reeducation.

One time or two I’ll gladly listen
to your pointless constant dissin’.
But if you’re gloomy day and night,
kindly grant me a respite.
Put my phone number on hold
if you just wish to bitch and scold.
You can always reinstall
my number when you’ve cured y’all
of your pointless railing at
the traffic, neighbors or the cat.
Fair weather friend? Indeed, I’m not.
I’ll soothe your brow and stir your pot,
but I will not be joining thee
in the quagmire of your misery.

Prompt words today are reinstall, reproach, frustration, winnow and housing. Image by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash.

Uptight and Out of It

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Uptight and Out of It

What is the impetus for his lack of wonderment—
head in a fog and perpetual blunderment—
his chronic air of irascible pique
that it’s so tempting to give a slight tweak?

You might accredit it to his upbringing—
too much instruction and not enough singing.
Spouting out facts with their meanings unclear.
Excess cod liver oil and too little beer.

We have a solution if he’d only try
to unstick his head lodged way up in the sky.
A little less ponder and a little more gin
might just overcome the state that he’s in.

 

Prompts for the day are: impetus, irascible, wonderment, accredit and head in the clouds.

Poor Sport

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Poor Sport

From the Rockies to the Tetons, I’ve avoided climbing rocks.
They crumble as I climb them and wind up in my socks.
I do not like their labyrinths that make you find a way
to snake up on their surface without a game of play.
Don’t expect me to climb mountains. Don’t even think to ask.
I’ll sit here in the shade and watch and sip upon my flask!

 

Prompts for today are labyrinth, snake, flask and Tetons.

That’s me back in 1973. I didn’t climb mountains then, either. You can tell by the shoes. This was taken in Lalibela, Ethiopia, a very mountainous place. Didn’t make any difference. I flew in on a tiny plane  and  rode a mule up one or two. That’s as far as I went.

Mr. “Do It Myself”

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Mr. “Do It Myself”

The manifold reasons I love you are these.
Though you puff and you pant and you groan and you wheeze,
recruiting much help from your back and your knees,
nonetheless, my piano you managed to squeeze
up the stairs to the tower, saying it was a breeze.
So as I snap a photo, be sure to say, “Cheese,”
then promise me, dear, for I’m down on my knees.
If we move it again, hire a moving crew, please!!!!

 

 

 

Prompt words today are recruit, piano, manifold and tower.

A Tyke Named Stormy

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A Tyke Named Stormy

He’s not your standard toddler. He’s a variant of the norm.
On rainy days he’d rather be out in the raging storm,
splashing through the mud puddles on his trusty trike
or trudging through small rivulets on a block-long hike.

When standard kids all huddle inside beside the fire,
he loves to face the bracing wind and plod through muddy mire.
I’d say he’s climate versatile. He’s game for any weather.
He likes to be out in the wild, free from any tether.

Most kids aren’t predictable, but this one surely is.
At dealing with bad weather, he surely is a whizz.
If any person can predict, I think for sure I can.
Some years hence, I think he’d make a perfect weatherman!

Prompt words today are versatile, standard, hike, hence and variant.

At the Movies

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At the Movies

Looked up too late and so I missed
the moment that the lovers kissed.
Taking a break, I closed my eyes.
Missed seeing how the hero dies.

Paresthesia setting in
caused me to take a little spin
for five minutes or maybe ten
to the lobby and back and then

when I got back, the credits started.
So as everyone departed,
I left as well, regretting so
how I had missed most of the show.

With old film cameras, when the bulb flashed,
it produced something that would last.
A photo mounted in a book
gave something upon which to look.

But movies are impermanent.
Moment after moment went
into the past, so if one blinked,
what they had missed became extinct.

That’s why next time I didn’t go
when invited to the show.
I stayed at home and had a nap,
my photo album in my lap.

 

Prompts today are look up, missed, paresthesia, bulb and old film camera.

Thoughts on Mortality, 3 A.M.

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Thoughts on Mortality, 3 A.M.

As my thoughts of death have become more voluminous,
idle reflections have turned much more numinous.
Vigorous fears of my shortness of breath
cause me to reflect on my upcoming death.

Derisory comments from friends that I’m fine
do nothing to quell these absurd fears of mine.
They’re turning me crotchety. Nerves are on edge.
I feel that I’m teetering close to the edge.

I’m Impervious to reason. These thoughts fill my mind
I wonder what sort of relief I could find?
My mind’s set on replay. I’m stuck in a groove
because immortality’s so hard to prove!

Prompts today are crotchety, impervious, derisory and vigorous.

Innovation Blues: Same But Different, Mar 19, 2022

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Innovation Blues

Every  new thing I attempt
is met with all the world’s contempt.

I rush about, but still I tend
to fall back down as I ascend.

The lake of tears leaked from my eyes,
my arid life cannot revise.

I never seem to have the knack
to learn what skills I seem to lack.

So woe is me, though well-rehearsed,
each new attempt is promptly cursed.

 

For the Same but Different prompt, Christine wants us to use not the following words,

  1. try
  2. dash
  3. climb
  4. pool
  5. change

but synonyms for them. Fun prompt!.