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Monthly Archives: August 2020
Creeping Shadows
Creeping Shadows
I have no wish to classify shadowy explorations—
furtive trips to low-life bars or questionable vacations.
I’m aloof in my present. I don’t think about my past.
I have no need to dwell upon times more overcast.
In past attempts to deal with them, I tried to rearrange them
to find they only frustrate me because I cannot change them.
Still, memory’s tyranny will win. I can’t escape, it seems.
Those shadows banished in the day creep back into my dreams.
Prompt words today are shadowy explorations, classify, aloof, frustrate and tyranny.
Retribution
Retribution
I swallow screams for dinner,
hold my tongue the whole meal through.
I’m told I’ll have to eat my words
if I let slip a few.
I’m choking back the clever things
that I want to tell,
but all my smart rejoinders
simply will not jell.
“Better seen than heard,” they say,
and yet they do not see me.
If I’m not allowed to speak,
how will I ever be me?
When I grow up, I’ll talk and talk.
Never will I be quiet.
If someone tries to shut me up,
I simply will not buy it.
By then my folks will be real old.
To shush me? They won’t dare.
If they do, I’ll shush them back,
and put them in a chair.
I’ll make them face the corner
and tell them to be quiet.
And if they say to eat my words?
I’ll say I’m on a diet!!!
For Poets and Storytellers United. Swallow Screams
Final Rights
Final Rights
The legacy our mother left seems to have something missing.
Is it just coincidence I think I saw you kissing
her lawyer shortly after her funeral today?
It reminded me of earlier behavior, I must say.
Your high school English teacher whom you later held at bay
only after he had raised your grade from F to A.
Do I mean to insinuate it may have been a factor
in the raising of your grade that you’re such a primo actor?
Feigning school girl crushes until you’ve achieved your aim
and seducing gullible lawyers? Do I think that’s your game?
I must admit this codicil that you have lately found
gives rise to questions. You should realize that we are bound
to question her late change of mind, leaving the bulk to you
when all the time that she was ill you never were in view.
The lawyer swears it’s aboveboard. These were our mother’s wishes.
Did she forget those countless times you would not do the dishes
but left the job to me as you hurried out the door?
The times you defied curfew, tracked up her just-mopped floor?
Because I was her favorite, was it, then, her guilt
that made her deed to only you the house that Grandpa built?
Sister dear, your goose is cooked, for just a month ago
Mom fired the lawyer you seduced and hired one you don’t know.
He filed a new will signing the house over to me.
Mom foresaw your shenanigans and said they would not be.
Your lawyer’s response to your wiles? A small sin of omission.
Who could blame him for collecting his amorous commission?
Prompt words today are legacy, missing, reminded, insinuate and factor. Although the poem is fiction, this is actually the house I grew up in.
Heartsick
I awoke this morning, turned on the computer, and was immediately met with this news:
Evacuations were ordered for all of Boulder Creek, including neighborhoods around Big Basin Redwoods, California’s oldest state park, as well as surrounding areas. Some 5,000 people live in Boulder Creek, a community high in the Santa Cruz mountains. The many windy, long, forested roads, some paved, some dirt, can easily become blocked during storms or fires. The orders specify which direction particular neighborhoods need to go to safely get out.
This is where I lived for 14 years before I moved to Mexico and as I check out the Facebook of various friends still living in and around that area, I read messages that friends in Bonny Doon fear the fires are too spread out and there are too few people fighting them for their house to survive. Another friend tells of spending the night in their car in a parking lot in Scotts Valley, along with numerous other Boulder Creek residents.
Boulder Creek is an old lumbering town with its residents spread out in the Redwood-covered mountains around the town. Its roads are small and twisty, many of them dirt or gravel, and evacuation in a dire situation would not be easy. Our two acres contained over a hundred hundred-year-old redwoods and the mountains around us were covered with tens of thousands more. In storms, when just one tree fell, roads could be blocked for a day or more.
For years, as I see the devastation of fires in CA, although I am not a praying woman, I have uttered little prayers for Boulder Creek. I am doing so now. I hope first of all that friends are safe, but I also hope this beautiful little village of 5,000 is safe—the old buildings, the galleries and restaurants and stores that have a charm that could not be duplicated by new construction. I hope my former home–completely constructed of redwood, including interior walls, floors, cabinets, and even the shower stall, its huge decks hanging off the side of the mountain with giant redwoods growing through them, my paper studio high above the mountain slope with a redwood tree growing through it—I hope that they, too, are safe, along with the homes of my many friends there. I hope the art center that we worked so hard to build up and maintain and that friends have gone on supporting and working for for the 19 years I’ve been gone is safe. And the animals and the redwoods and those who battle the fires.
2020 has been a year that will probably stand out for most of us as the most traumatic year of our lives, in spite of personal tragedies that might have superseded it in personal significance earlier. But this year, it seems the entire world faces the same possibly surmountable problem. The way to surmount it is to take care of Mother Earth. If she does not survive–if we meddle too deeply into her natural processes, she will strike back. It has happened again and again when species exceed their natural numbers or their rightful place. If we don’t learn how to manage our lives to stem climate change, we will all be suffering the fates of those locked in the thralls of fire or hurricanes or drought or flood or tornadoes or unseasonal snows or pandemics.
In the face of these increasingly unnatural disasters, time and time again, because of their magnitude, we feel powerless. But we are not powerless. Right now we can do what we must to find leaders and legislators who realize the importance of climate change and the dignity of all human beings. We can vote and we must vote and then we must support the decisions of sane men and informed scientists who can tell us what to do to change this trend of mankind’s annihilation. If you’ve never voted before, this is the time to vote and to vote right. The decision is not a political one. It is a rational one. It is not a matter of pride or “being right” or getting even. It is not a football or soccer game. We need to all be on the same side–the side of our Earth and the human race and the entire natural order.
We are not powerless. We have just been misdirected. We need to VOTE and vote wisely.
To show you the magnitude of the problem concerning fire in Boulder Creek, this is the house we owned and lived in for 14 years. It was built up on stilts on the side of the mountain and it was surrounded by huge redwood trees that came right up to the house, even through the deck in places. We were at the end of a road that fed into a twisting double-laned shoulderless road that wound down the the mountain. The entire area was this dense with redwood trees. The first photo is a view from our deck. The second is the view down to the treehouse Bob built for the kids. The third is looking up at the house from the only flat piece of ground on the two-acre property. It was where I planted my garden and built fish ponds. We also planted bamboo all around that little ornamental garden. As you can see, once fire took hold, there would be no chance of saving it.
I want to tack Janet Water’s wonderful comment onto the end of this blog. I’ve taken the oath. I hope you do, too:
Who Ate the Flower?: FOTD Aug 19, 2020
On Picasso’s Imaginary Self-Portrait
On Picasso’s Imaginary Self-Portrait
Is it conceit or self-knowledge
that makes you paint yourself
in the ruffed collar
of Shakespeare
or a clown?
Satyr, young at heart,
your merry countenance
masks darker moods and behaviors,
the bright pigments
hiding a more somber undercoat.
Picasso,
your children
and your mistresses
might paint you as master:
stern, egotistical,
but always with the backlit inspiration
of genius.
Yet, old goat,
you paint yourself a clown.
Reblog For dVerse Poets: Clown
A Speck of Dust
A Speck of Dust
When it is over, said and done, it was a time and there was never enough of it, but now is the only time we have and there is as little of it as there was then, so it is time to live in the now, suspending worry for the time being, as well as regrets. Leave the groceries on the counter and the cats unfed and let the kids gorge on peanut butter and jelly for once and go out the back door into your own world and notice what is around you. What you have been blessed with. First of all, you are alive. Do you realize the miracle of that? The miracle of the evolution of your brain and your sexuality and your heart?. The existence of birdsong, a fingernail, a laugh–the simplest and most varied of things, all grown out of a speck of dust–less than a speck of dust. All of these things, good and bad, such miracles that we let the self-enthused politicians and rulers and directors of our world cause us to overlook. Seize your power. Force attention to that in life that is to be enjoyed. It is what you can do. Events in the world that you cannot change, even though you try? Do not let them change you. Look at the minuscule that you overlook each day. A petal, a beetle, light on a hummingbird’s wings. Their dart and hover. Notice details. That is where the beauty you may be overlooking resides. Take it in and take it with you when you reenter the life you have stepped out of for a brief while. Take it with you and share it with your children. It is the power you have in the world.
For dVerse Poets Prosery. (We were to write a prose piece starting with the first line as quoted above.)
Absolutely Unconscionable!!!
Guess why???? Click on link below to read article.
https://www.newsweek.com/trumps-postmaster-general-sabotaging-postal-service-opinion-1525961
Lonely Artist Covid Art Challenge, Artist #4, Jeff Brown
. Jeff Brown’s contribution to the challenge.
The below commentary is by Jeff’s wife Debbie. Jeff is my artist stepson who lives in California. If Debbie would send some photos, I will send you photos of his art in another blog. Here are photos of Debbie and Jeff in Mexico.
“Jeff was on a lil Covid vacation. We went to Half Moon Bay camping and to see a change of scenery. One day we set up art camp and made retablos. Jeff made this because of fun times at Lake Chapala: playing Mexican Train and visiting Herradura tequila factory. Fond Memories. He says it’s still not done..but it’s a start.”







