This is what Trae Crowder has to say about last night’s riotous debacle: (Click on link immediately below, not on the arrow.)
https://okcforgottenman.wordpress.com/2021/01/07/my-favorite-liberal-redneck-reacts-to-yesterday/
Thanks, Forgottenman, for sharing it
Ulterior Motive
When you take me to the gym for our initial date,
do you mean to intimate you find me overweight?
You blanket me with strategies for my self- improvement
and give me tips on dieting and exercise and movement,
then hand over your business card as a personal trainer,
saying you require a small amount for a retainer.
Because your gaze was mesmerizing, I became distracted,
but now I think that this first “date” will not be reenacted.
I see now that the signal in your eyes when they met mine
was not infatuation, but simply a money sign.
When it comes to self-improvement, I know what I must do.
The first option that I’ll exercise is getting rid of you!
Word prompts today are blanket, intimate, mesmerizing and distracted.
I’m enlivened by my lineaments. They show where I have smiled.
Without them, I am sure my face would be too bland and mild.
It surely would be awkward if I had no tracks or lines.
A face would be so boring without channel marks or vines.
Wrinkles liven up a face. They show where it has been.
They tell what’s happened in one’s life, but don’t tell where or when.
They leave up to mouths and hands to embellish the story
with details more specific—more romantic, funny, gory.
Your face is the epitome of how you’ve lived your life.
It shows the tracks of pleasures, of sadness and of strife.
Without the stories that they tell, there’d be no place to look
anywhere on your body to read you like a book!
Word prompts today are lineament, epitome, awkward and liven.
Cease and Desist Order
My car’s due for an overhaul, but unlikely to get it.
My dog could use a clipping, but I’m not going to vet it.
I’m balking at improvements. I like things as they are.
I don’t want people poking at my dog or at my car.
Though my house might be enlivened by another coat of paint,
I like the faded, peeling look. I think it’s sort of quaint.
And though my coat is tattered and fraying at the hem,
it is my favorite garment—my closet’s unset gem.
You won’t wrest it from my clutches, for my grasp is strong and sure.
There’s not one thing in my whole life that’s needful of a cure.
So let my grass grow longer and let last fall’s leaves lay.
Let us all just rest here to molder fast away.
I do not want a face lift. I’m fine the way I am.
I have no need for beauty aids to make me look more glam.
When it comes to your suggestions, I must beg for their surcease!
All things don’t need improvement. You can let things age in peace.
Prompt words today are wrest, overhaul, balk and liven. First photo by Forgottenman. Second photo thanks to Curology on Unsplash. Both photos used with permission.
Zoo Snafu
When first he thought he’d try to woo,
he took his date out to the zoo.
He paid her way and opened doors,
protected her from wild boars
that were, of course, all kept in cages,
viewers safe from all their rages.
Nonetheless he fantasized
that his date must be surprised
at his bravery and daring-do
as demonstrated at the zoo.
Later on, he thought it best
that they should have a little rest.
To fuel them for their promenade,
bought hot dogs, fries and lemonade,
then found a bench and sat them down
somewhere near to monkey town.
He found a napkin and tucked it in
somewhere between her neck and chin,
daubed mustard from her upper lip,
Oh, he was gallant, polite, hip!
Then, after they had had a rest
he thought perhaps it would be best
to resume their stroll to view
the llamas and the kangaroo.
When they loitered for awhile
‘tween hippos and the crocodile,
he thought it might not be remiss
to try to steal a little kiss.
And self-assured she wouldn’t mind,
he worried about just what kind.
Should it be passionate or peck?
Oh her lips or on her neck?
Would it be a sin of remission
not to ask for her permission?
And should his hands go high or low?
How was a kiss-rookie to know?
So, in the end, he shook her hand
between the gnu and the eland.
Then they resumed their galavanting—
monkey, lion, elephanting—
Better not to act in haste.
Thus this first date, alas, was chaste.
For Cee’s FOTD
