Category Archives: Humor

“Hubba Hubba!”for Fibbing Friday, Jan 24, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday the challenge is:

1. What is a fib? A heart stoppage  that may be cured by a defibrillator.
2. What is a crib? The third chest bone down from the top.
3. What is a bib? The first 39.6 % of the Bible.
5. What is an antler? What you call your mother’s youngest sister.
6. Define staunch. A very strong bad odor.
7. What is a paunch?  Your father’s midday meal.
8. What is a launch? The midday meal in Great Britain.
9. What is a nub? The mirror reflection of the bread used to make a hamburger.
10. What is a hub? A reversed half-hearted cheer.

A Poem of Negation for dVerse Poets, Jan 23, 2025

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Why I do not Ham on Rye it

You cannot borrow steal or buy it.
Sumo wrestlers never try it.
Female starlets do or die it.
Vitamin makers fortify it
You never cookie, cake or pie it.
Pizza parlors terrify it.
Now and then I me oh my it,
but I hope I don’t defy it,
for if I ever hope to guy it,
I simply must stay on my diet!

 

For dVerse Poets, a poem of negation.

“How Much is Enough?” for the Writer’s Digest Wed. Poetry Prompt

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How Much is Enough?
(Appraising the Situation)

Enough’s too much when it comes to fish
or any other smelly dish.
Too much for castor oil in spoons
or relatives on honeymoons.
Amoebas?  Any one’s too much,
and a date who wants you to go Dutch
clearly tells you he’s not “it.”
One mosquito, when you’re bit,
is not “enough,” but “one too many.”
when your preference is “not any!”

Kids with colds and snoopy neighbors,
tiresome chores and heavy labors,
bitter pills and jerked-off scabs,
rainy days with no free cabs,
diarrhea, scabies, gout?
Too much! Too much, without a doubt!
“Enough’s enough” is repetitious,
obvious and almost vicious.

So don’t go spouting it at me.
I hate cliches from A to Z.
I won’t have any said to me.
If you use them, you’re dead to me!
“It is sufficient” I will accept.
“I’ll have no more”  is most adept.
But don’t go muttering platitudes
at folks like me with attitudes,
or I promise we’ll be getting rough
enough to prompt, “Enough’s enough!”

 

For Writer’s Digest Poetry prompt: Appraisal  Image by Tonmoy on Unsplash.

An Apple a Day, for The Sunday Whirl Wordle, Jan 19, 2025

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An Apple A Day

Witches use them for enchantment.  Kids give them to their teachers.
Trees dangle them from tree limbs to turn passersby to reachers.
Everyone craves apples at one time in their life.
Even Adam reached for one offered by his wife.
Latchkey kids  would miss them as a snack when home from school.
We’d miss them in our stocking toes if absent from our Yule.

It would be a small catastrophe if apples were not able
to snuggle with bananas and peaches on the table
or for folks with bows and arrows to use cucumbers instead
of apples for their targets, balanced on the head
of some trusting  assistant who surely would be pissed
if that smaller target meant that the archer missed!

Wouldn’t it cause chatter? The story would take wings
It would become that ballad that everybody sings
About the gifted archer whose limits were revealed
when he struck an unplanned target which alas, has never healed!
And, alas, no catalyst has ever been suggested
to solve the riddle of just how an apple might be bested!!!

(While posting this poem, I looked for an illustration in my photo file, I finally found the photo of the cored apple I had taken in the past so I used it.  Then I went out to the beach and found this apple lodged under the support of my beach chair. How it came to be there, I have no idea. I needed an apple and nature provided! So I had to post it as well.)

For The Sunday Whirl Wordle  the prompt words are: enchantment latch apples chatter crave catalyst catastrophe wings gift sing miss limit

“Pick”led for SOCS, Jan 17, 2025

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“Pick”led

Pack a peck of pickle parts
in a silver jar.
If you feed them to a lover,
he will not stray too far.
Neither pocket book nor hockey puck
will sway his thoughts for long.
You’ll have him humming melodies,
then you’ll pick out your song
repeated in sweet harmony
as he sings along.

For SOCS the prompt is: “pack/peck/pick/“pock/puck.” Use one or use ’em all for bonus points—it’s up to you!  https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/24840312/posts/5529707414

“Unprompted” for The Daily Prompt, Jan 17, 2025

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Un-
prompted,
they’d be single-tasked,
In fact, if she had not been asked,
she would never have de-masked,
the wine would not have been de-casked,
his shy love not
so quickly-tasked
in saying  yes to
the question asked.

The Daily Prompt is “Unprompted.”

For Fibbing Friday, Jan 17, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday today the prompt words inviting daffynitions are:

1.  Aurora: A sound a lion makes
2. Argument:  What is about to be ruined by Donald Trump.
3. Blessing: What there be when the printer runs out of coloring agent.
4. Smack: What some do in Hollywood when they can’t direct, produce, do stunts, operate cameras or serve as wardrobe and makeup mistresses.
5.  Embarrassment:  Extreme distress over forgetting to wear one’s underwear.
6.  Prickle: What an extremely nasty person deserves to get on his hamblurger.
7.  Bloat: What you are supposed to do to a birthday candle.
8.  Coalition: The act of accustomizing oneself to heat by fossil fuels.
9.  Barrel: A small rotund member of the Ursus species..
10. Zeal:A type of ocean animal with flippers that frequents the Zyder Zee.

Burnt Toast for MVB, Jan 13, 2025

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Burned Toast and Other Little Lies

A sneeze is how a poltergeist gets outside of you.
At night a different stinky elf sleeps inside each shoe.

Every creaking rafter supports a different ghost,
and it’s little gremlins who make you burn the toast.

Each night those tricky fairies put snarls in your hair,
while pixies in your sock drawer unsort every pair.

Midnight curtain billows are caused by banshee whistles.
Vampires use your toothbrush and put cooties in its bristles.

Truths all come in singles. It’s lies that come in pairs.
That’s a zombie, not a teenager, sneaking up the stairs.

The MVB prompt today was “Toast.”

For Fibbing Friday, Jan 10, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday the challenge is:

1.   Bafflegab–cryptic statements
2.   Batrachomyomachy-The study of the language of vampires.
3.   Boondoggle-The study of the language of Daniel Boone’s hound.
4.   Borborygmus-Who must be made to shut up?
5.   Bowyang-A male archer.
6.   Blitzkrieg-Breakfast served on the morning of a military attack.
7.   Brimborion-The protective sun brim on a celestial hunter’s hat.
8.   Boffola-a Hawaiian bison
9.   Boff-What you be when you leave.
10. Buzzwig-A bee’s hairpiece.

Addendum 3 Clown Nose Contagion

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Yolanda’s been feeling a bit of congestion. I told her to stay home, but she insisted on coming to work today! Hope she doesn’t pass it on to Pasiano.

How does a Clown Nose Contagion begin? If you’ve missed the earlier part of the story, go HERE.