Category Archives: Humor

“The Offering,” for SOCS, Mar 7, 2025

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The Offering

My cat surprised me with a gift
but I must say, I’m rather miffed
with the hairball that she left––
(those locks of which she’s now bereft.)

Was this donation made by chance,
or was it planned far in advance?
Did she commence her furry tearing
with the intent that she’d be sharing?

I wonder if she formed that ball
with any future plans at all
to heave it out upon the chest
of one I thought that she loved best?

Oh that she could communicate
whether it was love or hate
that prompted this  hair artistry
produced and then coughed up on me!

 

The SOCS prompt is to close eyes, open book, point to word, open eyes and use the word as a prompt, so here goes. The prompt word that suppllied itself was “Surprised.”

I’d like to know what the little post it notes said as well! (Thanks, Brad, for passing this on to me.)

“Stranger Than Fiction”–Fibbing Friday, Mar 1, 2025

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It’s true..Chocolate Cigarettes of the Seventies!!

For Fibbing Friday  this week’s task is: 

General knowledge this week, so wrong answers/fabrications please!

1.  What three symbols featured on the game invitation card on Squid Game? Ink blobs.
2.  What do Sumo Wrestlers use to purify the ring before a match? Sum Saki.
3.  What is the name of the sport played on broomsticks in Harry Potter? Air Hockey.
4.  What is the name of the unique language spoken by Furbies?  Purrsian.
5.  Which chocolate product had the slogan ‘The lighter way to enjoy chocolate’?  Chocolate Candy Cigarettes.
6.  What unit of measurement is used for electrical resistance? Hotfeet.
7.  In what sport would you use the term ‘Daily Double’? A drinking game.
8.  Which fashion label popularised the velour tracksuit in the 2000s? “Lane” Bryant
9.  Where would you find the Mariana Trench? On Mariana’s bottom.
10. Which two words begin a darts match? “Present arms!!!”

“Indigo” for dVerse Poets, Feb 24, 2025

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Indigo

The color known so well by teens
that is used to color jeans?
Bet you thought, as I thought, too,
indigo was a shade of blue.
Yet, upon further inspection
during internet detection,
it seems more pupleish a hue
which transforms itself to blue.

For dVerse Poets Quadrille Monday the prompt is “indigo.” (Image by Levi Strauss)

To read more Indigo poems, go HERE.

Fibbing Friday, Feb. 21, 2025

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For Fibbing Friday, Feb 21, 2025 the challenge is to define the following:

1.   What is a quaver? It is an over-the-shoulder receptacle for arrows in Louisiana.
2.   If you didn’t know a door as a door, what would you call it?  An In-or-Outer.
3.   007 has a license to kill, but what would an 010 have a license for? To drive a ten-speed bicycle.
4.   Define Corybantic. One member of a comedy duo known for their ribald humor..
5.   What does Crinkum-crankum mean?  An invitation to come witness Rin and  Ran in an X-rated movie.
6.   What is a Cacodemon ? Satan with dysentery.
7.   What would you do with a collop? Answer it.
8.   What is a curlicue? A cookout for doggies.
9.   Who or what is a cootie? An attractive young pigeon.
10.  What is an erf?  The sound made by a dog with a speech impediment.

Image thanks to z-grills Austalia.

Rum Dumb for RDP, Feb 19, 2025

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Rum Dumb

Beer is tacky. Wine’s a joke.
My preference is Rum and Coke.
Squeeze a lime in. Take a sip
to cool your throat and wet your lip.
My favorite form of inebriation
is always Cuba Libre-ation.

The RDP prompt is Tacky. Can’t resist that one. Went back 11 years and found this ditty I wrote that just happened to contain the prompt word. I didn’t remember writing it, so perhaps you don’t remember reading it.  Does anyone???

“The Final Word” for dVerse Poets, Feb 18, 2025

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“The Final Word”

Purchased before fur was vilified, Mother’s fur coat was well-used during South Dakota winters when snowbanks piled up to our second-story windows, but it found little use once they moved to Arizona the year I left home to go to college. It was 30 years later, after her death, that we found it in the back of her closet.  Along with her car, it was the one item that my mother had insisted should go to me. Ironic, I thought, as I had so often self-righteously railed against her possession of it. Attached to it was a copy of a poem I had written in college and sent to her, a line of which said, “I’ve lost the means to thaw my soul.”  Across the bottom of the poem pinned to the coat she had scrawled, “Make of it a parka for your soul”.

 

For dVerse poets, we are to write a prose poem containing this quote from an Alice Walker poem: “Make of it a parka for your soul”.

Incandescent Insect Insomnia for MVB, Feb 16, 2025

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Incandescent Insect Insomnia

When nature made the  glow worm glimmer,
would that she’d installed a dimmer;
for when I put out the light,
what I expect is total night.

When it puts itself in action,
I fear it sets up a distraction.
Little glow worm on the shelf,
please keep your glowing to yourself.

 

For My Vivd Blog, the prompt is Glimmer. Photo gleaned from the Internet.

“Stickler” for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, Feb 14, 2025

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Photo by Ryan O’Niel on Unsplash. Used with permission

Stickler

The banker, the doctor, the rabbi, the priest
used to jam back in high school and never ceased.
They’ve been meeting on Saturday nights all their lives
leaving their girlfriends and bishops and wives
to drink beer and rap and have deep discussion
about riffs and choruses, notes and percussion.
The priest is the drummer. He wields a wild stick.
The rabbi’s a string guy. The cello’s his schtick.
The banker plays sax and the doctor’s on keys,
but they’re all pretty good at  shooting the breeze.

It’s as hot as a sauna and still they play on.
All through the night and into the dawn.
the priest squeegees his glasses off with his left thumb
while his right is engaged in beating the drum.
He’s a stickler for rhythm, enthralled with the beat.
He stirs a small zephyr while stomping his feet.
When they’ll stop playing is anyone’s guess.
It’s obvious they overlook my duress.
They’ve had a good jam. A most excellent session,
but the priest better scoot or he’ll miss my confession!

The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is Stickler.

The Taste of Love for dVerse Poets

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The Taste of Love

What we feasted on
in those first stages of internet romance—
when nine hours was too short a conversation—was words.
We passed on to the next stage of computer dating:
our first dinner date.
He watched on his desktop computer as I prepared a salad.
This was a long and lengthy process
I recorded as closely as was possible,
using the camera from my laptop.

A prisoner of his large unmovable console computer, I watched his empty desk chair
as he repaired to the kitchen to prepare his meal, hearing sound effects but little else.

When he returned to the living room, he laid his meal in front of his computer.
I had yet to see it as I, in turn, placed my salad in front of me and took my first bite,
watching closely my technique according to my Skype image.

I chewed politely and then smiled,
revealing the lack of lettuce shards on my front teeth.
I looked up. He was watching me as lovingly as usual.
Now, it was his turn.

What are you eating? I asked. Ham, he said.
He lifted a huge hunk on his fork, taking a dainty bite
and chewing happily.
What else? I asked. Just ham, he answered.

And so he demolished the entire pound of thick ham steak,
now and then washing it down with a healthy swig of rum and Coke.

Rum and Coke.
It had been one of our bonding experiences
to find that the drink of choice for each
was Bacardi Rum with caffeine-free Diet Coke.
How could this not be a romance made in heaven?

Culinary compatibility from 2,000 miles away
seemed to be less of a problem than it would be months later,
when we first made physical contact.

But, there was a resolution. He started munching on carrots and I had no objection to ham.
We discovered a mutual mania for potato chips, and true romance bloomed
when I found the full bar of Hershey’s chocolate atop his refrigerator.
Who says we need to concentrate on our differences?

For dVerse Poets we were to post a poem about internet romance in honor of Valentines Day