Category Archives: Humor

Clarity?

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Clarity?

I don’t really need a chip to know what you are thinking,
for when I ask, “Should I wear this?” your left eyelid starts blinking
like it does whenever you tell a little fib;
and I can tell your “It looks great!” sounds a little glib.
That’s how I know without a doubt you’re spinning a fine yarn;
and that, in fact, in this dress I must look wide as a barn.

If you say this dish is great but feed most to the dogs—
if you say I’m clever but you rarely read my blogs—
if you “want” to get together but we rarely do—
I’ve already read the clues to ascertain your view.
Yet, still I have the option to see the other side
and find a way to look at it that will preserve my pride.

Your eye might blink because a gnat got caught in it just now,
and so I do not really look as broad as any cow.
He just has a small appetite. Her eyesight might be failing.
She might be out of town and when she gets home from her sailing,
she’ll call me up and we will meet and have a laugh or two.
Without perfect clarity I get to choose my view
of believing what I want to in spite of what I’ve guessed.
When it comes to friendship, less clarity is best!

For RDP:Clarity

Funnies from Real Life for Sunday Stills

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This guy was for real.  He wandered the beach with this squirrel couple on his head and shoulder. They later had a baby who traveled with them as well. Gotta run now but later I’ll try to find a photo of the entire happy family.

 

For Terri’s Real Life from the Funny Papers (Be sure to see her post)

Pants on Fire (For Fibbing Friday, Oct 20)

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We were tasked to define these words for Fibbing Friday today:
(Where does Pensitivity come up with these words????/)

1. Eunoia: A condition of continuing Intense aggravation in dissenters to Great Britain’s joining   the European Union
2. Fika: A misspelled federal insurance program
3. Redamancy: The state of being a Native American
4. Aliferous:  The description of someone who has had one too many beers.
5. Peiskos: What they call tiny pastries in the Soviet Union.
6. Querencia: A psychotic condition that comes about from asking too many questions in rapid  succession.
7. Metanoia:  A term used to describe  women who have turned down too many marriage           proposals.
8. Ataraxia:  What they called Scarlet O’hara’s state of claustrophobia at the end of the Civil War  after being confined to Tara for too long.
9. Lagom: What the French call “Double Bubble,” generically.
10. Apricity: What one calls the country area on the outskirts of Paris.

(Please forgive me for I know not what I pun!)

Toothpick

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Toothpick

A blade of wheat that my dad found
spread out alone upon the ground
was no doubt relieved and thrilled
that it wound up, instead of milled,
stuck between my dad’s front choppers,
better there than in the hoppers
of the flour mill’s grinding wheels—
a sacrifice to future meals.
A fate as toothpick far superior
to a stomach’s dark interior!!

The three word for the 3 Things Challenge are: Thrilled, Milled, Ground

During wheat harvesting, my dad often had a stem of wheat, head attached, sticking out from between his two front teeth.  Caught in the act of picking his teeth, it was a handy storage place.  Other times of the year, his front pocket always contained a few toothpicks to first use, then suck on, switching them from side to side between his lips. This prompt was made just for me!!!

Timekeepers

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Timekeepers

My dogs have clocks for stomachs.
I don’t know how they do it.
They value things by the extent
to which a dog can chew it.

Their feeding time is 8 AM
and without exception,
at precisely 7:59,
they demand  my attention

by pouncing on my stomach,
rousing me from sleep
so our kibbles appointment
I am sure to keep.

It happens every morning,
daily without exception.
It does no good for me to try
to practice a deception

by pulling covers over head
and feigning a deep sleep,
for my canine companions
have agendas I must keep.

Grumbling, I roll out of bed
to pee and then to sprint
to fulfill their 8 o’clock feeding
with no further hint!

So, seeing that I post each day
faithfully by nine,
do not merely credit me.
My incentive is canine.

Image by Cintage 72 Prompters: Zoe and Coco!!!

Odd Little Monday Portrait

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Portrait with Kleenex and Knee…for Monday Portrait

The hour is late, and I’m not sure this is the correct link, but I can’t resist posting this bizarre little portrait of the end of my day!

The Roads Both Taken (For Forgottenman’s Prompt)

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The Roads Both Taken (Rejecting Manic-depression)

Two roads diverged in my mellow mood,
and happy I could then travel both,
I laughed. Then I commenced to brood,
and found, at length that I was loath
to forego one and choose them both!!!!

(Overview. Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. These shifts can make it difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks. There are three types of bipolar disorder.)

For Forgottenman’s Prompt, he wanted us to do a switcheroo on Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” by writing a poem using the lines “Two roads diverged in my mellow mood,
and happy I could then travel both,” as our first two lines. Above is my submission to the prompt.

To see my parody of “Mending Wall” go here: https://judydykstrabrown.com/2014/09/17/mending-pants-with-apologies-to-robert-frost/

And now click on this link to see the prompt and make your own submission: https://okcforgottenman.wordpress.com/2023/10/13/the-roads-both-taken-a-poetry-prompt-challenge-offering/

 

Jail Break: For The Sunday Whirl Wordle 623

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Jail Break

All these words are borrowed. They are not really mine.
They came all neatly packaged in an orderly line
where they were held hostage, gathered up and wrapped—
a lexicography in waiting with its power oddly sapped.
Words slack with grief, all gathered in a long veiled sigh,
as though lined up like prisoners, scheduled to die.
Bare pockets empty of bare change, stripped of all their worth,
words that once soared to lofty heights were now brought down to earth.
But here I am their savior, for it’s been left to me
and other hero poets to set their power free.!

The words for The Sunday Whirl Wordle 623 are: slack grief hostage gather bare heights wrapped words pockets long veiled sigh

No Escape, for The Three Things Challenge

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No Escape 

I’ve vowed that I will have no more
of all the things that I abhor.
Indeed, these things that I detest
that in the past came to infest
my head and home and my whole life,
causing pain and stress and strife,
I left behind when I moved South,
and merely hear by word-of-mouth.
And in return, I trade for tales
of my South-of-the-border travails.

 

For the Three Things Challenge the words are: ABHOR DETEST INFEST

Fractured Song Titles, for Fibbing Friday, Oct 6, 2023

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Our topic to lie about this Friday is song titles, so here goes!

Here is the prompt: “This week I’ve chosen Song Titles, but rather than fib about who sung them, can you improvise on what they are about?”

1. Spirit in the Sky: Cocktail hour on the space shuttle.
2. MacArthur Park: What did the WW2 American Pacific commander do when he finally drove into Tokyo? (Actually, Forgottenman came up with this great answer after reading the lame one I had apologized for in an earlier version of this posting. He graciously gave me permission to claim it as my own which my conscience will not let me do!)
3. A Whiter Shade of Pale: Skin tone of Anglos after a long winter season.
4. Crocodile Rock; What we called it when we danced to  Billy Haley’s “See You Later, Alligator, After Awhile Crocodile” in the fifties.
5. Run: What we hope and pray Trump ultimately won’t be able to do again!!!
6. Don’t it make your brown eyes blue:  Contact lens ad.
7. Heaven can wait: Sign at the gate of Purgatory.
8. One night in Bangkok: Approximately 1/10th of the price of a stay at a Motel 6 in the U.S.
9. I know him so well: What Stormy Daniels  says she is “absolutely willing to testify to in court.”
10. Here comes the Sun: What Mom says to Dad every morning as she sees the paper boy pedal up on his bike.

For Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday