Category Archives: Humor

Timekeepers

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Timekeepers

My dogs have clocks for stomachs.
I don’t know how they do it.
They value things by the extent
to which a dog can chew it.

Their feeding time is 8 AM
and without exception,
at precisely 7:59,
they demand  my attention

by pouncing on my stomach,
rousing me from sleep
so our kibbles appointment
I am sure to keep.

It happens every morning,
daily without exception.
It does no good for me to try
to practice a deception

by pulling covers over head
and feigning a deep sleep,
for my canine companions
have agendas I must keep.

Grumbling, I roll out of bed
to pee and then to sprint
to fulfill their 8 o’clock feeding
with no further hint!

So, seeing that I post each day
faithfully by nine,
do not merely credit me.
My incentive is canine.

Image by Cintage 72 Prompters: Zoe and Coco!!!

Odd Little Monday Portrait

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Portrait with Kleenex and Knee…for Monday Portrait

The hour is late, and I’m not sure this is the correct link, but I can’t resist posting this bizarre little portrait of the end of my day!

The Roads Both Taken (For Forgottenman’s Prompt)

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The Roads Both Taken (Rejecting Manic-depression)

Two roads diverged in my mellow mood,
and happy I could then travel both,
I laughed. Then I commenced to brood,
and found, at length that I was loath
to forego one and choose them both!!!!

(Overview. Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. These shifts can make it difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks. There are three types of bipolar disorder.)

For Forgottenman’s Prompt, he wanted us to do a switcheroo on Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” by writing a poem using the lines “Two roads diverged in my mellow mood,
and happy I could then travel both,” as our first two lines. Above is my submission to the prompt.

To see my parody of “Mending Wall” go here: https://judydykstrabrown.com/2014/09/17/mending-pants-with-apologies-to-robert-frost/

And now click on this link to see the prompt and make your own submission: https://okcforgottenman.wordpress.com/2023/10/13/the-roads-both-taken-a-poetry-prompt-challenge-offering/

 

Jail Break: For The Sunday Whirl Wordle 623

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Jail Break

All these words are borrowed. They are not really mine.
They came all neatly packaged in an orderly line
where they were held hostage, gathered up and wrapped—
a lexicography in waiting with its power oddly sapped.
Words slack with grief, all gathered in a long veiled sigh,
as though lined up like prisoners, scheduled to die.
Bare pockets empty of bare change, stripped of all their worth,
words that once soared to lofty heights were now brought down to earth.
But here I am their savior, for it’s been left to me
and other hero poets to set their power free.!

The words for The Sunday Whirl Wordle 623 are: slack grief hostage gather bare heights wrapped words pockets long veiled sigh

No Escape, for The Three Things Challenge

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No Escape 

I’ve vowed that I will have no more
of all the things that I abhor.
Indeed, these things that I detest
that in the past came to infest
my head and home and my whole life,
causing pain and stress and strife,
I left behind when I moved South,
and merely hear by word-of-mouth.
And in return, I trade for tales
of my South-of-the-border travails.

 

For the Three Things Challenge the words are: ABHOR DETEST INFEST

Fractured Song Titles, for Fibbing Friday, Oct 6, 2023

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Our topic to lie about this Friday is song titles, so here goes!

Here is the prompt: “This week I’ve chosen Song Titles, but rather than fib about who sung them, can you improvise on what they are about?”

1. Spirit in the Sky: Cocktail hour on the space shuttle.
2. MacArthur Park: What did the WW2 American Pacific commander do when he finally drove into Tokyo? (Actually, Forgottenman came up with this great answer after reading the lame one I had apologized for in an earlier version of this posting. He graciously gave me permission to claim it as my own which my conscience will not let me do!)
3. A Whiter Shade of Pale: Skin tone of Anglos after a long winter season.
4. Crocodile Rock; What we called it when we danced to  Billy Haley’s “See You Later, Alligator, After Awhile Crocodile” in the fifties.
5. Run: What we hope and pray Trump ultimately won’t be able to do again!!!
6. Don’t it make your brown eyes blue:  Contact lens ad.
7. Heaven can wait: Sign at the gate of Purgatory.
8. One night in Bangkok: Approximately 1/10th of the price of a stay at a Motel 6 in the U.S.
9. I know him so well: What Stormy Daniels  says she is “absolutely willing to testify to in court.”
10. Here comes the Sun: What Mom says to Dad every morning as she sees the paper boy pedal up on his bike.

For Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday

Out on a Ledge (A Mountainous Misadventure)–For Wordle 622, Oct 1, 2023

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Out on a Ledge
(A Mountainous Misadventure)

You’ve provoked me out upon this ledge
and forced me to survey the edge,
but I’m the biggest coward of all,
fast-forwarding to view the fall!

My eyes scroll over far below
the distance that I’d have to go
if I were to tip myself
off this narrow mountainous shelf.

That edge looks crumbly to me,
and instills in me a need to pee.
The sun’s rays swell into a fire,
that well may be my funeral pyre.

My buzzing brain shows lack of trust.
A throbbing heart dictates I must
be off to flee this place I hate.
I just remembered a previous date!

Get me out of here real fast,
or this date will be our last.
When you said we should get high,
I didn’t know you meant the sky!!!

 

I keep telling myself I’m going to stop doing these, but they are irresistible.  The words for The Sunday Whirl Wordle this week are: provoke ledge eyes rays scroll need throbbing buzz fire hate trust fall

Popcorn Mystery

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I’m trying to eat popcorn out of a tall blue soup bowl. I can see a hair sticking up from the popcorn, but no matter how I try, I cannot pick it out of the popcorn. I know I am reaching for the right place, but when I finish, I am empty-fingered and the hair is still there.

It is not until the third try that I realize the hair is just a reflection in the shiny smooth ceramic of the inside of the bowl!!!

“Flip Fibs” for Fibbing Friday Sept 29, 2023

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We all have bad hair days, right? These are hairstyles as well as common words we may be familiar with.

1. Wedge — What I’ll prolly do ef ya ask me. 

2. Mohican–What Mo’s prolly doin’ if he’s been drinkin’ moonshine.

3. French Plait–What George Washington called his new imported teeth. 

4. Pageboy–What Tarzan couldn’t do

5. Bouffant–A Halloween hairdo

6. Pixie–A Photographer’s groupie.

7. Bob–Abbreviation for “Boy oh boy!!!” 

8. Crew Cut–What happens in the kitchen on a boat during meal preparation during stormy weather.

9. Buzz cut–A lumberjack’s favorite hair style.

10. Bunches–Tiny sandwich rolls for tea party fare.

 

Comments: My sister thinks I’m a bit obscure on # 1 and #8, so if you agree, here is some help.

#1. If you propose to me, I’ll wed ja!  (a y is pronounced like a j in my part of Mexico!). Yes. Very obscure. Sorry, Patti and all.

#8.  My fault. I left out part of the sentence.  It should read: Crew cut–what happens in the kitchen on a boat during stormy weather..(.i.e. the boat lurches and the kitchen crew slices their fingers instead of the veggies.)

 

For Fibbing Friday Sept 29, 2023

Cold-Hearted, Short Little Prompt Poem

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 I woke up to this prompt from Forgottenman:
No friggin’ idea why, but I just conjured up a three-word prompt: anvil, fluffy,                        sediment. Do with them as you will or not. (Yeah, I needa head to bed.)
I’ve said before that I am game for any challenge, so here goes:

Cold-Hearted
You’re fluffy as an anvil, as sweet as cod liver pie.
The sediment from the hearts you’ve broken piles up so high
that you can’t be seen behind it, so there you sit, alone.
reflecting on the shattered loves for which you must atone.

Image by Kasia Darenda on Unsplash. And this poem, although written in the second person, is not directed at the prompter.