I guess I need to put out water for the cats . . . .
Traveler’s Advisory
An explorer most intrepid, while plodding pole-to-pole,
one day declared this wish to be his penultimate goal.
He wanted to increase his pace to maximal extent
by carrying less luggage everywhere he went.
He found a weightless backpack that, sadly, was inflammable,
into which he stuffed all his possessions that were crammable.
He then set off upon his trek at a healthy trot,
on a day the sun was inordinately hot.
Glancing off his zipper, it started a small fire
near the bottom of his backpack that quickly traveled higher,
igniting matches in his pack, and then the gasoline
he carried to start fires with set a magazine
stuffed into his bag top gloriously afire,
turning his whole backpack into a funeral pyre.
The moral of this story is, if your travel pack
isn’t fire retardant, don’t bear it on your back!!
Prompt words for today are inflammable, pole, explore, maximal and pace.
Be Careful What You Wish For
The sky was dark and oorie the day of the premiere,
and approaching the red carpet, the star expressed a fear
her gown hem would be sullied as she passed through the morass
and the tabloids would just note the stains instead of her fine ass.
“Please tell them not to mention my less-than-perfect garb,
she spat out at her agent in her customary barb.
And her look was sullen as she left her limousine,
less glamorous than that depicted on the movie screen.
And as she slogged her way through puddles to the gala scene,
through photographers and writers from every magazine,
of course they all reported on that look of arch disdain
instead of any mention of her garment’s spreading stain.
Prompt words are oorie, premiere, disdain, morass and arch. Image by Raychan on Unsplash.
It Can’t Go On Without Us!!!!
Moss will not grow on a stone if someone’s there to spin it.
The genipapo needs a hand to squeeze the ink within it.
No finish line is ever crossed in one proverbial minute
without those legs that join the race and set a goal to win it.
No job has ever botched itself unless a human blows it.
Knowledge is not knowledge until somebody knows it.
A car without a human foot can’t pick up any speed.
What good are pears or apples without a mouth to feed?
No tail’s pinned on a donkey without a hand to pin it.
What transgression could exist without a man to sin it?
Even guilt would not exist without human compunction.
In short, the Earth’s in need of us to fulfill every function.
The Gods must be mistaken when they censure us and cuss us.
In truth, we make the world go ’round. Where would it be without us?
Prompts today are moss, minute, genipapo, botch and speed.
Poem inspired by the film “Don’t Look Up.” Too, too close in its depiction of our present day world.
Make Mine Tanqueray
A gin and bubbly with a twist?
Sufficient reason to exist.
As integral to daily life
and in deferring pain and strife
as a good psychiatrist.
Better, in fact, I must insist,
than thrusting all one’s problems on
some overworked Freudian don.
On days when feeling near-demonic,
nothing soothes like gin and tonic!!!
Scotch Plaid
A bloke’s
a joke
when clad
in plaid.
Girls don’t tarry
with guys so merry.
They suppose
such garish clothes
best suit a zone
for golf alone—
a sporting life
lived void of wife.
A plaid-swathed guy
might well let fly
a golf ball and
wind up in sand,
his drive a flub
made with a club,
his signal “Fore!”
a senseless roar,
or perhaps see,
there on the tee,
his ball still sitting
devoid of hitting.
A ball unfired
is best retired
to join a club
that is a pub
where scotch on ice
will suffice.
No more balls fired,
golf clubs retired,
that vest of plaid
doesn’t suit a lad
who is, I think,
best suited to drink.
For such a lad, I think it’s best
to drink the scotch and ditch the vest.
Prompt words for Wordle 533 are: signal, drive, plaid, lone, life, joke ice, fire, club, merry, fly and join
December 26
We’re all mindful of the date. Christmas has been done.
Jingle bells are now passé. “Noel” has had its run.
Mall Santas can be irascible for another year
until Christmas season once again draws near
and they must again be jovial, mindful of the tykes
who must be assuaged with their promises of bikes
or quantities of other toys as parents hovering near
make lists of wished-for plunder they’re meant to overhear.
Cash registers the whole mall through will jingle jangle jingle
as crowds of Christmas shoppers brave the crowds to mingle
and provide their little darlings with all that they desire.
So do stores and Santa Claus every year conspire
to insure our economy continues to expand.
So as he bows and leaves the stage, give Santa Claus a hand!
Prompt words today are jovial, mindful, bow, irascible and quantity. Images by Chris Murray and Mike Arney on Unsplash.
Weddings Banned–Market in a Tailspin
They’re banning marriage in America. The vote has just come in.
Such illicit gatherings are now declared a sin.
No flower-littered church aisles. No presents neatly wrapped.
Ring bearers are now passé, honeymoon routes unmapped.
Parsons and priests are limited to un-bridal functions:
baptisms and funerals, sermons and extreme unctions.
Department stores will probably have to cut back hours
when they feel the drop in sales from no more bridal showers.
The diamond market has gone bust as have sales of cake.
Bakeries are trying to think of other things to make
like maybe first-date cookies or three-tiered valentines,
make-out brownies, passion pies or set-up clementines.
Nationwide, each future bride is busy now, I’m certain,
altering her bridal veil into a window curtain.
The only positive result is no more bridesmaid dresses
of nylon net or taffeta or other gauche excesses.
No reason has been given for this bizarre decision
that’s met with voter outrage and the whole world’s derision.
The press without exception declares this law as dastardly,
declaring that an entire generation will be bastardly.
Kids will not bear fathers’ names. Connections will be lost,
with only mothers being the ones to bear the cost
of doctor bills and dental bills and clothes and vaccinations,
of summer camp and prom dresses and college educations.
The men will all be free to sleep with any random hottie
and spend their dough on gambling debts or a new Maserati.
Perhaps that is the secret of why nine out of ten
legislators voted for the law–they are all men!
Prompt words today are illicit, gathering, unction, flower and wrapped, Image by Ben White on Unsplash.
“Why Don’t You Let Me Iron That for You?”
When there is a wrinkle, she works fast to smooth it out.
She loves to plug the iron in and move it all about.
Steam wafting all around her, she executes arm action.
She finds it scintillating dealing with each new infraction
of the rule that each garment should hang seamless and true,
without a single furrow dividing it from you.
She feels no reluctance in relieving clothes of wrinkles—
no puckers and no creases. No scrunches and no crinkles.
Because of her I’m faultless. My wardrobe is sublime,
for in Yolanda’s view, a wrinkled garment is a crime!
Yolanda has been my housekeeper, accomplice and friend for twenty years now. She rearranges my belongings, leaving little jokes, removes dust and fingerprints and generally rules the roost when it comes to the state of my house. In addition, neither I nor any houseguest can leave the house without meeting with her discerning eye. and if she spots a wrinkle, you can be sure she’ll whip the iron out and insist that it be dealt with. I’ve never yet won an argument to the contrary.
Prompt words today are scintillate, smooth, waft, reluctant and fast.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 