Category Archives: poems

Cheap Falls Are a Stunning Solution!

12 Replies

DSC00127

Cheap Falls Are a Stunning Solution!

She was a parachutist and an avid mountaineer
whereas he viewed such pastimes with a great amount of fear.
Yet, he was so enamored that he issued a proposal, 
using every single cent he had at his disposal 
to buy her an engagement ring, to which she answered “Yes!”
The agenda for their honeymoon? I’m guessing you can guess.
Only Nepal would suit the bride.
There they’d hire a sherpa guide
to climb Mt. Everest and then
parachute back down again!

The groom’s objections were double-fold.
The first was that he was not bold
enough to scale this mountain lest
he meet his end on Everest!
Plus, he had neither credit nor cash
to finance both a wedding bash
and an expensive wedding trip!
He’d spent his stash all on the ring,
not budgeting for everything.

To console himself, he took a nip
and then another little sip
until, too late, he’d had enough.
He found rising a little tough
and navigating down the hall?
He had no skill at it at all.
And so, a few yards from the keg?
I fear he fell and broke a leg!
Nonetheless, the wedding went through.
She said “I will.” He said “I do.”

They honeymooned at Niagara Falls
which cost less money, required fewer balls.
He kept her busy with hugs and kisses,
Giving thanks for two close misses.
Though his cast both cramped and itched,
He never complained, never bitched.
The drinking bout that caused his fall
was the greatest luck of all.
He blessed that final stiff ablution.
Two cheap falls? Stunning solution!!!

The prompt words today are fall, cheap, stunning and solution. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/rdp-saturday-fall/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/09/29/fowc-with-fandango-cheap/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/09/29/stunning/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/09/23/daily-addictions-2018-week-38/solution

Reluctant Guest

8 Replies

 

Reluctant Guest

It was infatuation. He was there at my behest,
and although I hoped for more, he proved to be a slippery guest.
When I reached out for him and he escaped my grasp,
I improvised a harness out of scarf and belt and clasp.

Before you form ideas about my brashness in this tryst,
imagining the lengths that I might go to to be kissed,
I fear that you misunderstand the situation. Maybe,
I did not make it clear that I was bathing sis’s baby!

 

 

The prompt words today are slippery, guest, infatuation, improvise.  Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/09/20/rdp-thursday-slippery/

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/09/20/fowc-with-fandango-guest/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/09/20/infatuation/

https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/2018/09/17/daily-addictions-2018-week-37/improvise

Good Sport

1 Reply

scan098 2

Good Sport

Although he’s just a featherweight with arms and legs like sticks,
he survives all the scrimmages— the shoving and the kicks.
He’s always game to play the sport in any sort of weather,
with his helmet duct taped to his head and gaiters of fine leather.
He’ll show up to participate whenever they might please
with elbow guards and shoulder pads and cushions on his knees.
Every game he joins his teammates in the dugout trench,
where though they never let him play, he’s faithful to the bench.
And no matter how much they may  laugh and jeer and chide and tease,
When it’s time for the team photo, he’ll turn up and mutter, “Cheese!”

Cheese, feather and game are the haunted wordsmith’s prompts today. Here is the link:
https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/09/18/three-things-challenge-18-sept-2018/

Good Taste

2 Replies

Good Taste

It was an ongoing debate
that never tended to abate.
One friend was too prone to oration
concerning the education
of her friend much given to
items that were too frou-frou:
clothing full of frills and ruching,
fluffy pillows good for smooshing,
carved furniture too ornate.
She feared bad taste would be her fate
forever unless she stepped in 
to counteract what might have been. 

She tried to teach her friend restraint
in ornaments and clothes and paint.
She tended to excoriate
items that were too ornate, 
curbing her psychedelic bent
while showing her what Bauhaus meant.
She declared ruffled skirts too silly,
weeding out what was too frilly.
And though her friend declared it wasteful, 
she threw out all that was not tasteful.
Ignoring her friend’s deep depression
as she culled out each possession.

She honed her house goods, cleared her shelves,
deprived her yard of frogs and elves.
Gave her flamingos to Good Will,
banned nicknacks on her window sill.
So finally, when she was through
relieving her of garish hue,
replacing all her things with new,
the friend knew what she had to do.
Her belongings spare, her wardrobe small,
her house was sparse, from wall-to-wall.
The most that she could say of it
was it was tasteful, but lacking wit.

‘Til when the culling was all ended,
the one thing left that still offended
was the friend who had advised her.
By the end, how she despised her.
So, with her training in good taste,
she acted now in confidant haste.
She first picked up, quickly upending
one last thing that needed tending—
dragged it clear across the floor
and tossed it out of her front door.
And that is how it came to pass
she pitched her friend out on her ass!

For more examples of extreme bad taste, go to A Visit to the Weird.

For Daily Addictions: Ornate.

Not Prone to Marry

5 Replies

IMG_8103

Not Prone to Marry

I am a happy spinster—a perpetual “Miss.”
I cannot fathom sinking into a passioned kiss.
I am without an anchor. Obligations have I few.
No imperious husband tells me what to do.

I have no need to ferret out the reasons why I’m single.
It’s not for hate of men and I am not loath to mingle.
I simply like my privacy, have no need for a kid.
While others chose to say “I do,” I simply never did.

 

The prompt words today are fathom, anchor, imperious and ferret. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/rdp-sunday-fathom/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/09/16/fowc-with-fandango-anchor/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/imperious/ 
http://www.inlinkz.com/new/view.php?id=797445 ferret

A Misanthropic Anti-Creed

17 Replies

 

Version 2

The assignment was to write a 6-line alphabet poem that started each line with a letter of the alphabet in a 6-letter sequence.  I.E. abcdef, qrstuv, etc.  Being a creature of excess, I used the entire alphabet, forwards and backwards, ending with a final Z to boot, since the title began with an “A.”  Please note that this is the cynical rant of a misanthrope—not necessarily my own view.  And this is the only photo I could find in my album that smacked of high society.  Actually, it’s a photo of me and my date for the junior prom.

A Misanthropic Anti-creed

After all is said and done,
brotherhoo is not much fun.
Cliques are just a machination
Dumbing down imagination. 
Each misanthrope must find his own
Final method to disown
Galas thrown to feed the poor
Hawking excesses they abhor.
In jewels, ladies you could die of,
Jostling to catch the eye of
Kings of minor countries or
Lords who are the things of lore.
Meanwhile, gents in tux and tie
Nod to try to catch the eye
Of that next lady in Dior
Possessed of means to feed the poor.
Quickened now, they move to kill,
Ready to restore their till.
Society’s main charity
Trying for a parity
Under the understanding that
Verisimilitude is boring.
What’s important is just scoring
Xcess being all the norm
Yielding to those who most conform.
Zero, then, goes to the poor.
You must admit, they are a bore.
Xtravagence is what they come for.
Widows they won’t waste a crumb for.
Very likely that the starving
Urgently needing  this feast’s carving
Taste not one small bite of it,
Still hungry now in spite of it.
Rich charity spends what’s allowed on
Quality that draws the crowd on.
Pheasant under glass costs more.
Only beans left for the poor. 
Not a charitable hope
Mars ponderings of our misanthrope.
Let not one charitable thought
Knit his brow.With doubts it’s fraught.
Jarring thoughts are all he thinks
In between ironic winks.
Hear well the stories he might tell—
Gory threats of burning hell
For that well-heeled society
Eating up the profits of
Doubtful fund raisers of love.
“Charitize” to feed the poor,
But really serve their own needs more.
Ask the misanthrope at the door.
Zero is left to feed the poor!!!!

The dVerse Poets prompt is to write a 6 line alphabet phone, using 6 letters in sequence to begin lines.  Here is the link: https://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dversepoets&postid=12Sep2018&meme=12493

Excuse # 2

9 Replies

IMG_0589

Excuse # 2

Quick, take my hand before I float off
on a breeze or a sigh or a sneeze or a cough.
No telling what currents are swelling today
to pick a girl up and float her away.
Oh, excuse number one?
Hand holding is fun!

For DVerse Poets: https://dversepoets.com/2018/09/10/quadrille-64-quickwrite-something/

On the Bottle

6 Replies

IMG_2235 2

On the Bottle

Even though the likelihood I’ll do so might diminish,
the few times  I’ve been tipsy, I’ve still made it to the finish.
And though the fact I crawled the last few blocks made me most pensive,
you must admit my efforts to get home were comprehensive!

Okay, here are the real prompts for today: comprehensive, tipsy, diminish

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/09/09/fowc-with-fandango-comprehensive/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/09/09/tipsy/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/diminish

Living in Sin

1 Reply

 

IMG_0071

 

Living in Sin

Marriage is “legal tender,” a permit to fuse—
a government license for a couple to amuse.
Some cohabit without it, in a sort of ruse
which causes all the neighbors to gossip and accuse.
If they were more nondescript, perhaps they could just use
masks or garments to disguise, to obscure and confuse
their detractors, but alas, there’s no means they can use.
At six foot six, identities aren’t possible to lose.

I think my cousin’s sons might be taller than six foot six, actually. Next to my sister Patti, they seem to tower. Their photos are used for illustration purposes only.  Neither to my knowledge has committed any action to make the neighbors gossip.

The words of the day are tender, neighbor, nondescript and fuse.
And the links, in case you want to play along, are below:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/08/20/rdp-81-tender/

https://fivedotoh.com/2018/08/20/fowc-with-fandango-neighbor/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/20/nondescript/

https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/fuse

The Roue

19 Replies

IMG_9204

The Roue

A fresh bloom picked from the garden was his daily treat.
One day a simple tulip, upright and discreet.
Another day a floozie rose––her petals a bit blowsy.
Wisteria or cherry blossoms, drooping, shedding, drowsy.
Often he’d remarked to friends how romance was so fungible,
for with a garden fully stocked, each flower was expungeable.

 

The prompts for the day were blossom, remark, treat and fungible (mutually interchangeable) For fun, I’m also including this in Cee’s Flower of the Day. Yes, I know expungeable isn’t a word, but it should be, so I’m introducing it into the English language.  Merriam-Webster take heed.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/rdp73-fungible/
https://fivedotoh.com/2018/08/12/fowc-with-fandango-treat/
https://dailyaddictions542855004.wordpress.com/remark
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/blossom/
https://ceenphotography.com/2018/08/11/flower-of-the-day-august-12-2018-dahlia/