Category Archives: humorous poem

Stale Humor

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Stale Humor

A ubiquitous imagination is just like all the others
with no variation from your sister’s or your brother’s.
It does not twist or undulate. It runs a narrow course.
It has a sense of humor never varying from its source.

As Mother dreamed and Father dreamed, so does it dream as well.
It does not flaunt, cavort, carouse. It’s locked within a cell.
It doesn’t thrive on irony. It does not tease or bait us.
In lieu of furnishing fresh air, we flounder in its flatus.

God save us all from normalcy and those who are too dumb
to develop their own funny bone but who remain humdrum
by reciting age-old jokes to us and memorizing jokes
that haven’t drawn much laughter since they learned them from their folks.

 

Prompt words for the day are flatus, ubiquitous, imagination, carouse and twist.

Nuptial Gardening

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(This gardener used for illustrative purposes only!!!)

Nuptial Gardening

Once I was his buttercup. He plucked me from the bunch.
He bought me lovely jewelry and took me out to lunch.
He called me “dear” and “princess” and set me on a throne.
I had no respite from him. I never was alone.

But now that we are married, this man who was my savior
is stingy with household accounts and questions my behavior.
Our house once warm and welcoming is now a gelid zone.
If I knew what I’d done to cause it, I’d try to atone.

But he cannot come up with any errant act or deed
that transformed me from buttercup to a common weed.
He will not plough my garden, though frequently I ask.
Perhaps I’ll hire a gardener to complete the task.

Prompt words are gathered from five different sites. To see those sites, click on the words which are all linked to their sites: gelid, zone, behavior, respite and buttercup.  (This gardener used for illustrative purposes only!!!)

An Empirical Truth

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A Empirical Truth

I’m writing to our leadership–selfish, short-sighted fools
who are selling off our national parks and making other rules
about protected species, pollution and our health.
Saying it’s for our good while the rich expand their wealth.

If Nero fiddled as Rome burned, it’s also true today
that our most notable leader also likes to play.
As he’s shooting birdies on wild habitats turned tame,
his kids take off for Africa to shoot some wild game.

What we do to others turns back on us in time,
and Mother Nature will  find a way of dealing with your crime.
I suggest that you use caution when visiting a zoo
lest the animals you threaten end up hunting you.

 

Prompt words for today are explain, empirical, zoo, caution and leadership.

Home for the Duration?

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Home for the Duration?

I simply must go shopping. I’ve a plethora of needs.
My soup has gone unsalted and my garden’s full of weeds.
I need whips for my whacker and I need a box of salt.
So if my meals aren’t tasty, you can see it’s not my fault.

The bane of my existence is the branches that have grown
to obscure my lake view and upset my garden’s tone.
When I’m in the hammock, I’m thereby deprived my vista
because I loaned my hedge clippers to my older sista.

It’s easier to buy new ones if I could just go shopping,
but nobody knows when our immurement will be stopping.
Lately what might happen in the future’s arcane knowledge.
I hope that school resumes before my 3-year-old needs college!

Prompt words for today are salty, arcane, vista, plethora and shop.

Rescinded Offer

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Rescinded Offer

Her succinct requirements rush outward like a river.
What she expects from marriage. What she expects he’ll give her.

She tries to soften her demands with voice both soft and sweet—
habits he must abolish. Standards he should meet.

They stand before cerulean bay the color of her eyes.
Waves breaking gently on the shore first soothe, then hypnotize.

Then a clap of thunder disturbs the scenic spell.
He hears the content of her words and knows her very well.

There won’t be any marriage. She never will be his.
He’s decided to just find a girl who’ll take him as he is!

 

Word prompts for the day are cerulean bay, abolish, river, succinct and breaking.

Creative Calibration

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Image by Oren Atias on Unsplash, used with permission.

Creative Calibration

She was a paragon of beauty. Diminutive perfection.
The persona she constructed an incredible confection.
Each year observance of her birth a full-scale celebration.
Every year, a slight deduction in its calibration.
So I’m afraid it’s true that by the time she passed away
and met her final sunset at the ending of the day,
though sexy in her youth, in her dotage she was hotter,
and if you took her word for it, was younger than her daughter!

Word prompts today are paragon, diminutive, celebration, afraid and sunset.

Career Shift

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Career Shift

At the pinnacle of her success, she had a small eruption—
only a little pimple, but it caused a large disruption.
For a facial model, we can all make the connection
of why it was impossible–this fault in her complexion.
Before they could fire her, she staged a small defection
to a facial product intended for correction.
From Loreal to Clearasil—she said by her election,
but so does nature alter fate by natural selection.

Words of the day are pinnacle, disruption,  vacate and connection.

Alarm Clock Rejoinder

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Alarm Clock Rejoinder

My alarm clock’s rude awakening I eschew vis-á-vis
a gentler mode of wakeup that is buzzer-free.
Questions upon awakening I find somewhat aberrant.
Kindly save your queries until I am more coherent.
If I’m a pebble that must drop into my daily start,
I pray the ripples of my morning  come farther apart.

 

Prompt words today are vis-á-vis, awakening, coherent, save and ripples,

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

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Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I was almost mature, I was almost thin.
Now I must start all over again.
So please have compassion. Eat your own surprise.
Don’t bring me donuts or candy or pies.

I’m redoing my fridge and throwing out naughties
homemade by friends as well as my boughties.
Ice cream and truffles go straight in the bin,
for I must amend this shape I am in.

I’ll begin my diet as soon as I’m able,
pushing myself away from the table
as soon as banana bread I baked last night
has been depleted to nary a bite.

Then I’ll eat salads and green beans and stuff.
Doing without sugar will not be so tough
tomorrow. I’ll begin tomorrow, I vow.
Tomorrow works out so much better than now.

Prompt words today are almost, mature, ready, compassion and organization.

Lack of Willpower During the Coronavirus Sequestering: My First Two Excuses.

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Lack of Willpower During the Coronavirus Sequestering:
My First Two Excuses

I’ ve run out of storage for all the provender
I bought in advance, thinking chances were slender
that in a month there’d be staples enough.
I thought that the going was going to get tough.

So with my freezer full and no cupboard space free,
the only place left to store food in is me.
I forage on fudge and I’m gorging on chips—
storing them here on my waist and my hips.

Please come to my rescue. I’m tortured by guilt.
Last year at this time I was pleasantly built,
but this forced isolation obliterates “no”
as an answer to chocolate and cookie dough.

You may be amused by my failure at coping,
but I am not drinking and I am not doping.
It isn’t my fault. I’m a victim of fate.
It’s my body that’s yearning to assimilate

cookies and candies and pastas and pies.
It’s my body’s fault that I’ve grown a size.
With no one to stop me, I’ve just given in.
I guess you’d describe me as formerly thin!

Words for the day are rescue, torture, obliterate, assimilate and amused.