Category Archives: humorous poem

Nipped Bud! For Prompts and NaPoWriMo, Apr 13, 2023

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A Flowery Metaphoric Rejection on a Bad Cold Day

When it comes to heroes, I prefer mine picaresque–
not one that clouds his meanings in terms more picturesque.

“We could make some upbeat music?” Your intent I can’t detect,
so I must entreat you, try to use words more direct.

All my friends have warned me you’re desirous of my hand,
but you seem to seek my membership in some sort of band.

I, too, can speak in metaphors, admiddedly not choral,
for instead of musical, my imagery is floral.

I cannot speak concisely for I have ad awful code.
But as to our conjoining,? Gotta snip it in the node!

 

(Disclaimer: I had written this all in lingo that sounded like a bad cold, but it seemed indecipherable, so I reverted to just using it in the last two lines.)

Prompts today are upbeat, picturesque, direct, entreat, node and membership.
Also, For NaPoWriMo 13

Overheard (For NaPoWriMo Apr 11, 2023)

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Overheard in the Home for Retired Musicians

I’m stymied by your crepitus. Your embouchure’s divine.
If you don’t have your own tune, would you harmonize with mine?
Your tonality is breathtaking, your rhythm right on beat.
Your syncopation’s perfect. I fear I can’t compete.
As we play, our joints keep time. My knees snap, crackle, pop.
If our music were to lead to love, you’d have to be on top!

For NaPoWriMo

Regimen

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Regimin

I eat vegetables, berries and seeds to quell my hunger,
for I gotta mind my gullet. I’m not getting any younger!
I must nullify the ills of a life of over-eating
if I wanna dull the din of a heart that’s over-beating.

Jane Fonda is my idol. Can you see the pecs on me?
I exercise each morning, and my diet’s sugar-free.
I’m gonna live forever ’cause I jog and bike and run.
My one and only problem is, I never have no fun!

Words of the day are gullet, nullify, idol, din, seed and free. Image by Malik Skydsgaard on Unsplash. 

Bossing Words Around

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Bossing Words Around

Poems used be as easy as falling off a log,
but I get more rickety with every single blog.
Sure, there is a wellspring of thoughts within my head,
but there’s a bit of work involved before those thoughts get read.
Sometimes they disband and fall apart before they’re pieced,
and no one ever sees these poems that end up as deceased.
So though words are my idols, whether earthy or dramatic,
I must say dealing with them is sometimes most traumatic.
If only words would step in line in meaning and in rhyme,
perhaps I would achieve my goal every single time!

Today’s prompts are log, rickety, idol, wellspring, dramatic, and disbanded.

Maybe also for NaPoWriMo?

I had a very traumatic day, actually, and when I came to the end of it and finally had time to write this poem, I found that Forgottenman had totally set up all the prompt links for me, including for NaPoWriMo.  This for me is sweeter than chocolates or flowers!  And that is the reason why I’m even posting a poem today.  oxoxox to him.

Fly-Bye on the Day of the Dead

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Fly-Bye on the Day of the Dead

That fly that chose to falter
for a minute on the altar
I’d constructed for my lover
should have made the choice to hover.

The worst choice of all
was to choose to land and crawl
attracting my attention
to a means of his detention.

Namely, to kill the squatter
with a switch of my fly swatter.
Though he was silent ever after,
no more soaring floor and rafter,

it was I who did the gasping,
for the bottle he was clasping
of my mourned-ones favorite drink
soared out to shatter in the sink.

Thus in the battle between darter
and me, he was the martyr
while I strained my funny bone
accepting actions to atone

by cleaning glass shards from the table
and all places I was able
to reach within the kitchen
without grumbling and bitchin’.

Then I quickly made a trip
to buy a sticky strip
so future flies would be defeated
and my actions not repeated.

 

Prompts For the Sunday Swirl Wordle 600
are: bones gasping strip switch shatters battle fly altar martyr bottle crawl falter

Also for NaPoWriMo

Info Overload

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Info Overload

Contemporary culture is one I dread to contemplate—
much more prone to outcry than to logical debate.
Folks bury fact with fiction misleading and irrelevant,
quelling truth and logic in favor of their rave and rant.

Who can deal with all the various sorts of messaging,
let alone absorb events rarely less than harrowing?
Lately my delete button has become my dearest friend
as I limit messages mostly to ones I send!!!

 

Prompts today are bury, outcry, contemporary, contemplate, absorb and irrelevant.

Party Animal

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Party Animal

I trip and stumble,
fall and tumble
(Lately haste
not to my taste.)
Incapacitated? Yes!
What’s the reason? Can’t you guess?
Once, though I was hale and hearty,
life of every wild party, 
now I draw less audiences,
fewer smiles and way more winces
as I slip up, toe or tongue 
on syllables or ladder rung.
These faux pas once made due to whiskey
back when I was young and frisky
are due to age’s cruel spasms
instead of youth’s enthusiasms.

Prompts for today are trip, mumble, incapacitated, hale, draw andtaste. Photo by Hillary P on Unsplash

Retire in Mexico?

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Retire in Mexico?

I never thought retirement
would ever be the way I went,
so imagine my embarrassment
when I found my instincts leant
 toward letting my employment go
and heading down to Mexico!

When I checked out the internet
to see what info I could get,
it led me to a rendezvous
that told me what I had to do.
It’s been no struggle, you can see,
Retirement was made for me!!!

Prompt words are cusp, rendezvous, retirement, struggle, embarrassment and internet.

Karaoke Detour

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Karaoke Detour

When our Karaoke Adventure Tour took off to fly to Glasgow
we had not an inkling it would be such a fiasco.
It started with complaints when we tried to rehearse
and before we even managed to reach the second verse,
an angry man behind me began to scream and curse,
causing his long-suffering wife to  hit him with her purse!

The distress of other passengers ignited accusations
that they sought placation for with further free libations.
But an uncanny silence brought the fracas to an end
as four hours early, we started to descend.
The stewardess ran forward to grab a parachute
with a dozen passengers following in pursuit.

The singers ceased their singing and the angry man his cussing.
Passengers still in their seats so busy with their fussing
to fasten tight their seatbelts that their drinks were overturned for
they’d forgotten all those further drinks that they had yearned for.
Then the pilot’s voice came booming through the awful din,
to finally advise us of what trouble we were in.

So many violent storms between California and Taipan
that he was going to have to land our carrier in Japan!
Then terror turned to anger as folks began complaining
with little indication  of when protests might be waning,
while I and my companions started up another chorus,
sure that this disaster had been planned completely for us.

What better place than Tokyo for karaoke fun?
(A better place than Glasgow for our singing to be done!)
With no machines to guide us, nonetheless we lifted voices,
song requests from passengers reflected in our choices.
I guess the man behind me must have settled down to nap,
for his wife joined in our chorus with her purse safe in her lap!

 

Prompt words are karaoke, canny, accusation, complaint, pursuit and fiasco.

A Valediction Forbidding Morning

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Disclaimer: John Donne wrote “A Valediction Forbidding Mourning.”  This is not that poem!!!

A Valediction Forbidding Morning

When the moon is at its peak
It is the nighttime’s time to speak
words worthy of our full attention
yet this is a mere audition.
Another speaker’s  coming soon
who has hopes to debate the moon.

The sun will soon commence to snivel
that moon’s sentiments are drivel.
Thus day and night both ebb and flow
informing us by what they show
of light and dark and sun and moon,
all of their phases gone too soon.

Each noonday sun flashing its warning,
every moon forbidding morning
while warning the ladybug
to check her babies are all snug,
for as the sun climbs ever higher,
it might set her house on fire.

 

Prompts for the day are valediction, drivel, audition, worthy, peak and ladybug.