Okay, for the first time, I have prompt words for you. I challenge you to write a poem or prose piece making use of these words: approach, looking, street, breath, strange.
Below is my poem making use of those words. Please don’t read it until you’ve written your own poem, then link your poem to this post in the comments.:
Companion
Climbing up the steep-pitched road, almost out of breath,
how strange that I should meet you, here on a street named Death.
When I was not looking, and had no need of it,
you changed course to walk with me and urged me not to quit.
If I had started later, or earlier, it’s true,
I would have passed unnoticed and surely, so would you.
But now you turn and join me as I approach the bend,
and we continue, side-by-side, companions to the end.
Now, if you think penning an eight-line poem is a breeze, you might want to see this very late-night Skype conversation with Forgottenman in which we discuss said poem. The first line and every line
without Doug’s name preceding it is me speaking. Doug is Forgottenman, by the way, but he asks that you don’t tell anyone! ;o)
This is the Skype conversation:
2:30 AM
I’m stuck on one word in a poem.
I found it on a list I’d made of books I wanted to read…I’d written it on half the page.. and I don’t think I ever published it on m’blog.
Doug, 2:31 AM
I’m not quite following, but if you tell me more I might get it.
2:32 AM
Companion
Climbing up the steep-pitched road, almost out of breath,
how strange that I should meet you, there on a street named Death.
When I was not looking, and had no need of it,
you came to walk beside me and urge me not to quit.
If I’d started later, or earlier, it’s true,
I would have passed unnoticed and surely, so would you.
trying to decide whether to change the third line to:
you came to walk beside me an prevail on me to quit
I came to walk beside you and exhort you to quit
2:34 AM
I have a problem with the third line:
I came to walk beside you and prevail on you to quit,
counsel you to quit
inveigle you to quit.
does the companion want to urge on or stop?
Doug, 2:34 AM
Ok, that’s the fourth line. I had a niggle with it as well.
Doug, 2:35 AM
I think it should still start “you came to walk…”
2:35 AM
inspired me to quit?
Doug, 2:35 AM
It feels to me that you’re the passive one in the verse.
2:36 AM
I think so too but can’t find the right word.
is the companion inspiring me to continue or to turn back?
Doug, 2:37 AM
I’ve no idea yet, and that may be the point of the verse – the ambiguity.
My possibly lame late-night drunken take: “you came to walk beside me. You urged me not to quit.”
(Gotta keep “quit” for the rhyme.)
2:43 AM
Perhaps name it “The Accomplice”
Doug, 2:43 AM
Hmmm…
2:43 AM
Accomplice
Doug, 2:44 AM
Seems it needs a preceding unexpected adjective.
2:51 AM
Companion
Climbing up the steep-pitched road, almost out of breath,
how strange that I should meet you, there on a street named Death.
When I was not looking, and had no need of it,
you came to walk beside me and urge me not to quit.
If I’d started later, or earlier, it’s true,
I would have passed unnoticed and surely, so would you.
But now you turn and follow me as we approach the bend,
and we continue, side-by-side, companions to the end.
Doug, 2:53 AM
Penultimate line says they follow you, but last line side-by-side. I think you need to reconcile.
But I REALLY LOVE it!
Should it be “here on a street named Death”?
I’m wondering about making it all current tense?
3:05 AM
How about:
Doug, 3:17 AM
Another drunken suggestion: “But now you turn and join me”
3:18 AM
Companion
Climbing up the steep-pitched road, almost out of breath,
how strange that I should meet you, there on a street named Death.
When I was not looking, and had no need of it,
you changed course to walk beside me and urge me not to quit.
If I had started later, or earlier, it’s true,
I would have passed unnoticed and surely, so would you.
But now you turn and follow me as we approach the bend,
and we continue, side-by-side, companions to the end.
oops.. i didn’t hit send..
but I like your suggestion added to this..I changed the 4th line to changed course.
Doug, 3:18 AM
I’m following your draft.
You know I don’t like to dance in the conventional footie/leggie sense. THIS is how we dance! And I just friggin’ LOVE it!
3:20 AM
Si…
Doug, 3:21 AM
I almost think our conversation here could be a blog.
3:22 AM
Ha.. do it as a conversation with my muse!
I think you should do it in your blog and link it to the end of mine.
It would be fun.
Doug, 3:23 AM
Perhaps, but that requires a sober decision from moi.
You said (I think) this was something you wrote long ago and stuffed in a book? That would be a lovely thing to add below your poem.
In case you missed it, I still think it should be “here on a street named Death”.
… “here” not “there”.
3:27 AM
I think you should just copy everything up to but not including this comment by me and put it on your blog with an explanation that it was a late-night Skype conversation that preceded my posting my “Companion” poem. Then put a link at the end of my blog. But needs to be done now, before I publish it so everyone sees it.
Yeah – no. I needa do it sober.
3:29 AM
Then I’ll just do it on my blog.. cuz I want to post it but I agree it would be fun to have our conversation added.
Doug, 3:31 AM
I concur – But I must do penance for my (drunk)
3:31 AM
and if you wait, the earlier viewers won’t see it.
just copy and post. I’ll check it out for you if you wish.
and write the into.
intro.. on my blog and yours
Doug, 3:31 AM
Nope. No can do tonight.
3:32 AM
okay. Here goes….
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 