Tag Archives: humorous poem

Oversight

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Oversight

There’s more in life that you can view
than what folks say and what folks do.
Deeper meanings hang in the air.
You can always see them, they’re always there.
More to be learned from what’s not said—
more to the meal than what we’re fed.

I note expressions, nuance, glances.
I’m an early spotter of romances
that others seem oblivious to.
A quick expression can be a clue,
a tone of voice a giveaway
of what a person means to say.

Those who see farther can be a bore.
Always looking and seeing more
than what folks would have them see,
noting life’s disparity
between what is and seems to be—
said behind backs or vis–á-vis.

So though you haven’t told me that
you find me boring, crass or fat,
I know as clearly as though you had.
And when I seem withdrawn or sad,
it’s not that I have ESP
that tells me what you think of me.

It’s simply that I pay attention
to more than what you choose to mention.
Though these extra perceptions take their toll,
they’re nothing that I can control.
I can’t shake them, try as I might.
It seems that I have “oversight.”

 

The prompt word today was “oversight.”

Southern Exposure

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dsc07117Southern Exposure

Although my north end’s fully cloaked,
when rain clouds come,  my south gets soaked.
I guess the fault is really mine.
The raincoat that I bought, size nine,
that I insisted would fit fine,
combined with excess when I dine
means that though it swathes my seat,
the buttons in the front don’t meet
the holes they’re meant to go into
no matter what my fingers do.
That’s why my front side’s sorta soggy
when the weather ends up foggy.
If you approach me from the back,
I swear, you won’t see any lack.
You’ll only see my dripping clothes
If we meet up nose-to-nose
I just can’t get myself together
to protect myself in stormy weather.

The prompt word today is “exposure.”

Marathon Confusion

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Marathon Confusion

There stands my wimpy neighbor John
next to that tall bronzed Amazon.
He’s looking sort of pale and wan
there on the local courthouse lawn
wishing the others would be gone
so he could vanish over yon.
He’s feeling rather put-upon,
for when asked by his buddy Ron
to join this charity marathon,
he thought it was a phonathon!

Imagine his extreme reaction,
for he has not the slightest fraction
of running talent nor attraction
to any sports-like interaction.
To him, athletics are abstraction.
Since he’s much given to inaction,
mobility’s a mere distraction.
He’d commit some lane infraction,
suffer a spinal compaction,
and probably wind up in traction!

For, although his finger’s ready,
his running legs are less than steady.
He knows this charity’s a good one,
and though he wishes that he could run,
wishes do not equal training,
and he’s not into muscle straining.
Prepared today to call for them,
he’s not prepared to fall for them.
He will not join this running faction.
instead, he’s calling in his action.

 

The prompt today was marathon.

Incapable

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Incapable

Capable? I fear I’m not
for usually, I’m too hot.
Sleeves I do for vanity,
but capes weren’t made for folks like me.
If the capes are long and fem,
I get my heels caught in the hem,
and if they’re roomy and too wide,
I find that I get lost inside.
I get my purse strap tangled in,
the neck tangled around my chin.
The bat wings flap and catch the breeze.
The wool ones make me gasp and sneeze.
So, if you’re a swaddler, leave me be.
I like my torso cover-free.

The prompt word today was capable.

Poor Timing

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Senora! I’ve found more lights!  It looks promising.  I knew I had many more strands, but these look unfamiliar.

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So I pulled them out of the bag and untangled them, and when I plugged them in?  Out of seven strands, only one worked!  I mined the errant strands for a few replacement bulbs and tossed them into the trash. Planned obsolescence?

Poor Timing

Whoever wrote this prompt today cannot have all the facts
If he thinks merely by wanting to, I can just relax!

Relaxing’s fine for those who have all their “to do’s” done,
but until the last one’s checked off, it’s not yet time for fun.
It’s true that life is not all work. There’s wisdom in each word.
But to rest prematurely is clearly just absurd.

I’ll paint the window frame and then put up Christmas lights.
Then unpack nacimientos–those Mexican delights.
I’ll hide the suitcase of old clothes I’ve been meaning to sell,
then close the guest room closet–best described as hoarding Hell!

Clothes of every era. Clothes of every size.
If you are into “retro,” you’d find it quite the prize.
Then hang up all the pictures and replace all the art
that’s been consigned to the upstairs since my remodel’s start.

We’ve wiped and swept and blown and washed ’til all the dust is gone,
but now must put away the stuff all the dust was on!
Two days from now, houseguests arrive. ‘Til then my life is taxing,
It’s when they finally get here that I’ll have time for relaxing!

 

 

 

The prompt today is “relax.”

The Lady Doth Protest Just Right, Methinks.

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Does this look like a sixty year old leg to you? She posed for it!!!

The Lady Doth Protest Just Right, Methinks

“The Lady Doth Protest too much. . . .”
he says as he expands his clutch.
As she then attempts to guard her
honor from his excess ardor,
if he won’t take her “No!” verbatim,
there is one way to educate him.

For when a lady’s had enough,
it may behoove her to get rough.
That she may return home intact
may require much less tact
and more physicality
to apprise him of reality.

A well-placed knee aimed at his tool
may seem unfairly base and cruel,
yet if mere words will not connect,
this simple action might correct.
If entreaties will not stir him,
extreme sign language might deter him.

The prompt word today was protest.

The Cloud

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The Cloud

The groom’s mother might be charismatic,
lovely, clever and dramatic,
but when she entered any room,
she was preceded by her perfume.

So her presence here was problematic—
in scope, approaching the traumatic—
for we had to institute some bans
to include her in our wedding plans.

For reasons we deemed bioclimatic,
(and her excesses aromatic)
when it came to finding her a seat,
we found it to be quite a feat.

For it’s hard to remain diplomatic
when the bride is prone to be asthmatic.
With no other possible schematic,
We had to seat her in the attic.

The prompt word today is “Aromatic.”

Tart Addiction

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Tart Addiction

“Zesty, piquant,  rich at heart”
describes his favorite sort of tart.
Tender to the touch and bite,
a bit of crust and formed just right.

He likes one after every meal,
his appetite to seek to seal.
A zesty wench presents the tray
as soon as the meal’s cleared away.

A tart a night may meet his lips,
yet not one goes upon his hips,
for no cream or cherry pie
is what tempts his tongue and eye.

His tarts come without calories:
Veronicas and Valeries.
In two weeks, he has had a dozen—
the serving girl, and then her cousin.

Which tart tonight will he prefer?
Will it be custard, fruit, or her?
The sort he likes is just the latter,
his tarts cannot fit on a platter.

The prompt word today was “Tart.”

Comfortable Mortality

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Comfortable Mortality

After living my life, I must pay the price,
but I don’t want to die by fire or ice.
Not toasted by flames or frosted with snow.
A temperate death is the best way to go.

The prompt today was “Flames.”

 

Feeling Vegetal

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The prompt word today was “Vegetal.” I’m setting up the Feria booth so this has to be quick:

Vegetal: of or relating to that pole of the ovum or embryo that contains the less active cytoplasm, and frequently most of the yolk, in the early stages of development. “vegetal cells”

Feeling Vegetal
 
You’re talking about ovum, embryo and yolk?
This early in the morning? I think that it’s a joke.
I thought that I’d collected every word to do my bidding,
but I’ve never heard this word before. Vegetal? You’re kidding.
Biology was never my favorite class in college,
so I guess it must have sort of limited my knowledge.
But now I know that vegetal means relating to plants,
I’m sure I’ll use it widely—every time I have the chance.
My grocery cart? Most vegetal, now that I’m on a diet.
My garden very vegetal, I see as I walk by it.
And if I get lazy, just sitting on my bum,
I’ll say “I’m feeling vegetal” to all my friends who come
to pull me out to walk or dance or just exit my door.
“Vegetal” is a handy word. Have you any more?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/vegetal/