Tag Archives: humorous poem

Orgulous of Orgulous!

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Orgulous* of Orgulous!!!

I’m suffering from reluctance and a bit of perturbation
that is interfering with my blog’s administration.
Embarrassed for this rhyme, I’ve no proclivity to flout it.
I’m sure my stats will plummet. There is no doubt about it.

We’ll ascribe the blame to Ragtag, for “orgulous” is the word
they’ve chosen for our prompt today—a choice that is absurd.
Who uses it in common speech, or formal speech, in fact?
Any poem I used it in, I’d afterwards redact.

I’m not a jolly blogger. I’m delaying activation.
I feel no need to add to my reader’s education
by using words requiring their use of dictionaries.
I prefer clear writing that requires no further queries.

It’s habit that demands that I find a way around this.
But now I feel no further need to otherwise expound this.
I’ve flailed around in writing this. I edit and I stumble.
Tomorrow may they choose a word that is a bit more humble!

 

*Orgulous: haughty, proud, ostentatious, disdainful!.

Prompt words for today are stats, jolly, activation and orgulous. (Good grief!)

Boomerang Boy: New Syndrome Defined––Grown-up Kids Who Won’t Leave Home

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on unsplash. Used with permission.

“In many countries, the phenomenon is so widespread that new terms have developed to describe it: bamboccioni [literally, big babies] in Italy, “hotel mama” in Germany, boomerang children in Australia, parasaito shinguru [single parasite] in Japan. These young men and women don’t leave home and don’t get married, because they only want to buy brand names and enjoy themselves and to live, as an ideology, at their parents’ expense. It’s nothing less than a pandemic.” https://www.haaretz.com/.premium-new-syndrome-grown-up-kids-who-stay-home-1.5336944

Boomerang Boy

If more interest charges he wishes to defray,
he needs to find a paying job without further delay.
He should at once take heed of my excellent advice
and give up on his former full-time job of shooting dice.

He might become a rose vendor, a troubadour or chef
or become the famous author of a roman a clef.
if only he would get a job, his parents would rejoice,
but, alas, sheer laziness is his career of choice,

The prompts today were rose, delay  and sacrifice.

Confessions of Hatface

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Confessions of Hatface

My father calls me hatface because of my addiction
for wearing things upon my head because of my conviction
that I look prettier in hats or hairdos most original
to make me look exotic––French or Greek or aboriginal.

Screen Shot 2019-06-19 at 7.05.48 PM.png

I wear my cat under my arm, my socks upon my head.
Rather than be ordinary, I’d rather be dead.

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Sometimes I walk my rabbit. When he walks on his hind feet,
for sure, we’ve the attention of everyone we meet.
My rabbit sheds his rabbit skin and wears a shirt instead,
and me? I change my head socks and put bows upon my head.

Screen Shot 2019-06-19 at 7.06.19 PM.png

Our skin is very pliable. It stretches like Band-aids,
so Sis and I just pull it up in pretty little braids.

Screen Shot 2019-06-19 at 7.06.32 PM.png

In sunlight, flowers surprise me by sprouting from my head.
I never know what to expect when rising from my bed.

Screen Shot 2019-06-19 at 7.06.44 PM.png

I have two patron blackbirds perched one upon each shoulder.
They’d be perching on my head if they were any bolder.

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A bluebird doubles as my kite, the string held in its mouth.
Sometimes he flies me east or west, and sometimes we fly south.
I’m a very special girl. I’m not at all predictable––
a miracle that Jackie Hurlbert found me this depictable!

 

Thanks to Charmed Chaos for thinking up this picture prompt for dVerse Poets and to jackie Hurlbert for letting her use her beautiful paintings as prompts.  We were to choose one to write about, but I chose all of them. Click on her name to see more of her work.

Query for a Backseat Driver

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Version 6

Query for a Backseat Driver

Your directional demands are wearing rather thin.
They’re wearing out my eardrums. Getting beneath my skin.
Must you demand in public? Must you always nag?
Have you all the answers in your Mary Poppins bag?
Must you simply always be so self-sure and so stolid?
Is there no effervescence in your dependably solid?
You always quote statistics, so I would like to hear
what is the percentage of the facts you know, my dear,
that you think would fit if you stuffed them up your rear? 

Prompt words for today are directional, percent, stolid and public.

 

Dinner Party Snafu–a Sonnet for NaPoWriMo 2019, Day 27

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IMG_4051

Dinner Party Snafu

That tiny jar of olives on the shelf
called out to me to add them to my list
carefully planned by no one but myself
and yet, it’s true that I could not resist.

To add to salad, plotted from the first
to blend so perfectly into the meal
to whet the appetite and prompt the thirst
for my perfect wine-soaked succulent veal.

Who knew that bottle would be so well sealed
that it would remain steadfast to my grip?
meanwhile, the veal course cooled and congealed
as I used armpit, hand and tooth and lip

to try to budge those olives from their jar,
to spill them onto salad quickly wilting.
My guests called out for dinner from afar,
their hunger-weakened voices softly lilting.

Thus do dinner plans oft turn out Hellish
due to starter courses we can’t relish!

http://www.napowrimo.net/day-twenty-seven-5/

Premature Departure

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Premature Departure

In this lackluster party,
even the guacamole’s gray!
It’s not the proper ending
to an equally dull day.

The secret of good parties
lies within their zing.
Who enjoys a party
that never quite takes wing?

The soda pop has all gone flat,
The wine being decanted?
Everyone who tasted it
thereafter soon recanted.

From this dreadful party,
we all beg prompt respite.
What could possibly happen
to address our stressful plight?

I’ve wasted this new outfit
that makes me look so thin,
for it’s identical to one
 our party giver’s in!!

The music is all polkas
and the orchestra’s off-key.
What will be the next disaster?
I cannot bear to see.

I see that last thought’s irony
as I flick off the light,
grab my coat, slip out the door,
and vanish in the night.


The prompt words today are identical, respite, lies and lackluster. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/rdp-saturday-identical/
FOWC with Fandango — Respite
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/your-daily-word-prompt-lies-april-27-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/27/lacklustre/

New Girl

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New Girl

Her turnover in boyfriends is no subject for debate.
They stand outside her classroom door or by her locker wait.
An entire roster of males stands by, perchance to win a date.
There seems to be not one young man loathe to participate.
And though less pretty classmates tend to excoriate,
secretly, each schoolgirl longs to share her fate.

The world is full of femmes fatales: Naomi, Audrey, Kate.
By their very presence they seem to addlepate
every male within their sight, to stir and titillate.
Seemingly unknowingly, they dangle the right bait
that sets the most attractive men into a frenzied state.
It is as though they’re put on earth just to procreate!

There is no power on this earth to which I can equate
the power of these ladies to attract a mate.
If they knew the secret, they perhaps could educate
other women to allure so every man could sate
his passion for a lover at a faster rate,
so the world’s supply of spinsters could more rapidly abate!

 

 

The word prompts today are wait, turnover, participate and world. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/rdp-monday-wait/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/15/fowc-with-fandango-turnover/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/your-daily-word-prompt-participate-april-15-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/15/world/

Tweeting Kim Kardashian

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Tweeting Kim Kardashian

I recall that picture, but you’ve modified it some.
I fear it’s rather naughty to photoshop your bum!!!

Prompt words are recall, picture, modify and naughty. Here are the links:

https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/14/fowc-with-fandango-recall/
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/rdp-sunday-picture/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/your-daily-word-prompt-modify-april-14-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/14/naughty/

“The Fix”

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“The Fix”

–a difficult or awkward situation from which it is hard to
extricate oneself; a predicament.“how on earth did you get
into such a fix?”
predicament, plight, difficult a, difficult situation, awkward
situation, spot of trouble, bit of bother, corner,
ticklish/tricky situation, tight spot
–a dose of a narcotic drug to which one is addicted.
   “he hadn’t had his fix.”

Although you assure me you are strictly on the level,
your very need to do so makes me think you are the devil.
I find your ethics tenuous, they’re there and then they vanish.
Your motives start out lily white but end up rather tannish.
You’re fine at razzle-dazzle. You expertly shoot the breeze.
You flatter and finagle, you smile and flirt and tease,
but have you really done the job or were you merely acting?
Is your expertise for real or merely reenacting
what you saw in movies or surveyed on the TV?
Has fiction finally managed to replace reality?

Did you get your medical knowhow from college texts you’ve read,
or learn your bedside manner viewing Chicago Med?
Do you really know the way to set a joist or beam?
Can you really hem a skirt or sew an even seam?
Do you know how to fix my brakes, change oil and do a lube
or did you merely look it up last night on You Tube?
TV is our Bible and whatever we may view
becomes the thing it is okay to become or do.
We put our idols in office, be they hero, fool or rogue.
What is most entertaining becomes what is in vogue.

Why has the world fallen into this state of dereliction?
Simply because we cannot—distinguish fact from fiction!!!

The words of the day are dazzle, tenuous, breeze and level. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/rdp-monday-dazzle/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/08/fowc-with-fandango-tenuous/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/your-daily-word-prompt-breeze-april-8-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/level/

The NaPoWriMo prompt today was to write a poem based on a slang word or phrase or acronym specific to a certain job. Hmmm. That’s a corker!!! Mine seems to work on so many different levels lately, but particularly when it comes to politics.

Why Me? NaPoWriMo 2019 Day 2

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Why Me?

Today I have the doldrums. My smile is upside down.
I cannot go to meet my cronies in the town.
My misery is absolute, I’m coughing and I’m sneezing,
and all this blowing of the nose is definitely unpleasing.

My bones could use some stretching, but I fear this will not be,
and Sandy, Harriet and Glen today I will not see.
I’ll try to talk to Gloria on the telephone
explaining why it’s best today that I am alone.

Why in fifteen minutes, as they shoot the  breeze.
will I be forced to lie abed, to blow my nose and sneeze?
Almond croissants and coffee and congeniality
are theirs while I am sentenced to echinacea tea!

The world just isn’t fair, my friend. I’m such a sorrowful wretch.
The only pleasure left in life to lie here and to kvetch!
It is life’s  idiosyncrasy that nine times out of ten
when I most want to paint the town, instead I must stay in.

What master of the universe sees that such a function
turns out to be a flop as a method of conjunction
with busy friends  that for two months I haven’t seen together
and in the one time we can meet, keeps me on such short tether?

 

The prompt words today are stretch, idiosyncrasy, absolute and upside. In addition, the NaPoWriMo prompt for today is to write a poem that ends in a question. Here are links to all:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/rdp-tuesday-stretch/
FOWC with Fandango — Idiosyncrasy
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/your-daily-word-prompt-absolute-april-2-
2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/02/upside/
NaPoWriMo