Tag Archives: misbehaving cats

Cat Altercations

I thought I’d published this before but can’t find it. I’m thinking this is the mood my usually loving and docile cats were in when they wreaked havoc on my house last night or early this morning.

Not My Day So Far!!! May 31, 2020

 

It’s Sunday, and the only day of the week where I don’t have a minimum of three men here working. I should have known when one of the cats woke me up by biting my toe. I’d spent a night of sleep with no disturbances. No leg or foot cramps, no trips to the bathroom, no shortness of breath where I had to get up and sit up on the divan all night to breathe, as had happened Friday night. I got up to let them out and on my way back to bed, I noticed the goose down pillow I’d left on the couch during my last sleepless night. It was soaking wet! All the way through! It had rained the night before and I wondered if the dome skylight was leaking once again, but when I got within a foot of it, I could smell the rank stench of cat urine!!!! This had happened only once before in my 19 years of living with cats in Mexico and I had attributed it to Annie’s age when I came out one morning and found my $1,000 artisan quilt soaked in urine. But now that Annie is gone, her reputation is expunged. It was one of the young cats who was responsible. That does it. No more cats in the house!!!

My problems, however, were just beginning. The entrance to my laundry room is on the outside of my house, so I unlocked my bedroom door, opened the outside gate, tried to unlock the laundry room door, and no go! The door has a double lock—a regular one plus a deadbolt. Someone had not fastened the latches that hold the double doors in place, and when those latches are not shut, there is no way to get the deadbolt open! In the past, I’d had to call a locksmith to get the door open when Yolanda had neglected to fasten the manual bar latches, but it was Sunday and my arms were full of a urine-soaked down pillow—my favorite, I may add.

Back to the house and the shower, where I stripped two pillowcases off (so that’s where the matching pillowcase has been all these months) and began the job of soaking, expunging the air, soaping, wetting.  I rinsed out the pillow slips again and again in the sink under running water as the drain plug doesn’t close. (Another story.) Then, I started pouring white vinegar, as unfortunately the animal urine remover was in the locked laundry room.

The pillow, which I had soaked in a huge metal bowl in the shower, was now inflated to the size of a balloon and I realized there was no way I was going to get this dealt with without a washer and dryer, so I called Pasiano, who lives just two blocks away. He is the solver of most of my household problems and might know the secret of the locked laundry room. Often he goes to Guadalajara on weekends to visit family, but I was in luck. No, he wasn’t at home, but he was in San Juan Cosala, a small nearby village, and he’d be here in 15 minutes.

Long story short, he arrived, the pillow cases and pillow are in the washer on long cycle, and I am about to check out the leather sofa. I detect no odors, but when I bend over to check, I see the rainforest frog hand-fashioned of raw latex that normally sits on the coffee table in front of the divan on the floor along with a Oaxacan  handwoven mat it usually sat on. Obviously, the cats had staged one of their marathon chases before one celebrated by peeing on my favorite pillow!

It was on my trip back out to set the pillow and cases for their second cycle that I noticed first the bobble-head figure, formerly in a row on a shelf above the bed, lying on the floor on top of the scrunched-up Oaxacan carpet. Now minus one leg, it lay where it had come to rest after what I can imagine was a soccer match between the cats. I pick it up and restore the other bobble-heads to their former order, but this little bull will not march again until I provide the necessary prosthetic. I unlock the bedroom door and move out to the patio, where I for the first time notice the wall that the young man who repaired my  broken pipe had re-concreted.  He had done a horrible job. The natural curve of the wall had not been followed, the concrete was messy and unsmooth, and it generally looked like the job of an amateur. My contractor had promised to come out the day before and inspect the work of the young man but he’d let me down for the second time. He assures me it won’t be too late to redo the work on Monday and that he’ll send a different man, but hard for me to accept that concrete won’t be easier to remove 24 hours after it has been put in place than 48 hours.  I’d go down to the hammock to console myself in nature, but unfortunately, my hammock ripped down the middle yesterday. The cats are yowling indignantly at the door to be let in. Nope. Not my day.
This is perhaps the mood they were in when they created the damage below:

Trouble in Paradise

WANTED!!!

(Click on mug shots to enlarge for better identification.)

Oh man. Brian pooped in the sala and peed in the spare bedroom, in spite of the fact that I took him out twice last night and once this morning. Then Annie cried all morning in spite of the fact I’d given her food, water and head scratches—perhaps because Brian was in my bed with me? Put Brian out, put a cushy bed for him out on the side of the house and opened gate for Morrie to join him in the side and front yard so they could play without Diego’s interference. Morrie immediately went for the cat food in this usual cat’s domain and then for Annie, whom I had forgotten was in the front garden. Chased her behind the big planter, where she was cowering when I came out to put Morrie back in the back yard and to rescue Annie. There are not enough zones in this house! I don’t know that I have a solution to the problem. Brian is crying outside but I won’t have an animal who pees and poops inside!  Help.

1/2 hour later. Good news. Brian has stopped crying.

Excellent Investment Opportunity!!!

Excellent Investment Opportunity!!!

My old cat will not eat her meals of chicken, meat or fishes.
Can after can, they’re offered, but they do not meet her wishes.
And although she’s demanding, calling for food at all hours,
only now and then do I provide food she devours.

I spend a fortune on her food, but still she oft refuses it.
She lowers her nose and sniffs the air, saunters over and peruses it,
gives two licks, then leaves the rest, meowing for some other
as later it is eaten by the dogs or by her brother.

“Fancy Feast” or “Kitty Cuisine”—whatever, she rejects it,
and if perchance she deigns to dine, afterwards she ejects it.
Since somehow at 18 years old, she’s nonetheless abiding,

perhaps they are hyperbole, these things that I’m confiding,

Still, she is particular and more so as she ages.
At 6 a.m. and noon and five and midnight, how she rages.
It makes no difference whether I am sleeping, sitting, standing.
“Now” and “Now” “NEEEEOW!!!!” she yowls, stubbornly demanding.

Lately, I have had a thought (It’s genius and no less)
of how to please her highness re: this culinary mess.
We need to have new flavors of cat food she might like—
rat or lizard, garter snake, hummingbird or shrike.

Why has no one thought of this? It makes such perfect sense.
Cats do not trawl for tuna or sit upon a fence
waiting for turkeys to trot by. They do not fish for trout.
They wait for passing chipmunks or for mice to run about.

I’m starting up a business canning food that she would eat.
She’ll gobble mouse fresh from the can and soon she’ll be replete.
If I can’t  find investors, I’m going it alone.
“Judy’s Pest Control and Disposal”––killing two birds with one stone.

 

Here, if you are interested, is the first stage of development of my innovational new cat food: https://judydykstrabrown.com/2019/04/14/cat-and-mouse/

And here is the final product: https://judydykstrabrown.com/2019/04/14/el-raton-cat-food-motivational-and-dispersal-system/

 

G is for Gatos

Hint: It will be much easier to see enlarged photos and captions if you click on “Visit” and then click on first photo to enlarge these photos.  If you are viewing in Reader or on Facebook and just click on the first photo instead of on “Visit,” photos will be smaller and captions unreadable as they will be superimposed over the photos.

For: https://ceenphotography.com/2017/10/03/cees-fun-foto-challenge-letter-g-needs-to-have-the-letter-g-log-goggle-geometry-lodge/

Oy Vey! Life with Cats

Frannie is fascinated by the corn husk flowers on my dining room table.  She sniffs them, bats, them, even tastes them.  I don’t allow this, but she hasn’t quite gotten the message yet.

Kukla and Ollie, on the other hand, are very fond of lying on my computer keyboards.  Sometimes they type very unusual coded messages.  At other times, they just create music as they hit a certain key that trills a repetitive musical tone.

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I think they like the light of the screen shining on them as they have also learned how to turn on the reading light behind the bed in “their” room and in spite of all of the times I have gone in and turned it off, when I next go into the room, it is switched on and all four cats are curled up in a ball on the bed underneath it.

When Ollie somehow landed on this particular spot on the computer or possibly connected with something on the screen that was making this repeated tone, I lifted him off the keyboard.  Unfortunately, he resisted the idea by reaching out for a clawhold and when I finally got him detached, the key he had curled his claws around came off with him.

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You should know that this is a brand new keyboard I’d had installed just a month or so ago after Morrie ruined the other one by jumping into the pool and splashing water on the computer, wiping out the keyboard.  I fear my animals have proven to be a bigger item in my budget than I had expected.

Forty minutes later, I had figured out the correct assembly method for the three interlocking pieces.  It was not easy, but it seemed right.  They all fit together and everything seemed snapped into place—until I tried to snap it onto the little mounded nub on the keyboard.  I had to force it down and although it caught hold, the key didn’t work unless I POUNDED it in a manner totally unacceptable.  Prying it off again, however, proved to be even harder than making it work.  When I finally did, on my third attempt, it launched itself—each part in a different direction. The kittens found this very distracting as they tried to locate the pieces before I did. In the end, I located the pieces and put them in an envelope in my computer case. Whether I tell the computer repairman the true story of how the injury came to be will be determined at a later date.

Sometimes it is necessary to resort to a foreign language to get the true level of your frustration across. I hope my Jewish friends forgive me as I once more vent in a language I have no claim to.  Oy vey just seems the right thing to say. Did I spell that right?

Frannie? Get off the table!!!!