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Spider on the ceiling, legs evenly spread round,
I can’t help but wonder what keeps you ceiling-bound.
Have you little suction cups welded to each foot,
and if so, has nature adequately put
each one on this spider far above my bed
so it will not disconnect and land upon my head?
For MVB the prompt is “Ceiling.”
Some Advice for Touchers
Most people don’t mind a touch,
and though others may like it too much,
you have learned, I am hoping,
when it comes to groping,
that no one is fond of a clutch.
for Esther’s “Laughing Along With a Limerick” Challenge: Touch
An Apologia for Indolence
Those beasts that prowl the underworld with claws uncoiled to strike
assume the right to wander anywhere they like.
They thread their ways through canyons, all over the map––
through every twisting river’s course, through every mountain gap.
Stuck tight to their temples are their matted strands of hair.
Masked by tree limbs and tall grasses, they maintain their vigilance where
a hunter or a camper or a homeless, shiftless sort
unschooled in the ways of beasts, chooses to cavort.
Thus do those loved ones vanish who choose to exercise
while at home are resting those of us who are more wise!!!
For The Sunday Whirl Wordle, the words are: prowl beast claws shift strands twists wander underworld map thread
Imposters
On this moonlit ghoulish night, the wind plays tricks on us.
It spins around our ghostly wraps and makes the vampires cuss
as all the wicked creatures rise up from the dead
to escape from where they’re buried and do what we all dread.
Within the crypts where they’ve been resting, their hearts just barely beating,
they’ve been plotting to impersonate small kids out trick-or-treating.
They’ll go out ringing doorbells, never once exposing
the fact that they’re real ghosts and goblins, not just children posing.
They’ll grab up all the candy so when the next child begs
for Hershey bars or Reese’s bars, they’ll only get the dregs
the zombies left––the licorice and the candy corn,
so kids go home with empty bags—crying and forlorn.
This is the spell that witches cast in twenty-twenty-three
when they came out of hiding to see what they could see
And saw small nervy children impersonating witches
and goblins, ghosts and vampires, then making scary pitches
for popcorn balls and candy and other gastric pleasures.
Whereupon the witches decided to take measures
to turn the tables on the kids, they decided on a whim
to teach those kids a lesson by impersonating them!
So this is my fair warning that tonight when your bell rings,
and creatures wearing witch hats or fangs or other things
first mouth an incantation or issue hearty “Boos,”
then demand that you give candy, lest a trick ensues,
best give them all the Hershey bars met by their greedy eye,
the Reese’s Bars and Milky Ways that they might espy.
But also keep a stash on hand for later in the night
when all professional witches and ghosts have taken flight.
And you hear a feeble knocking of gypsies with tearstained eyes
and ghosts in wrinkled bedsheets and little goblin guys
with smiles all turned upside down and tummies empty of
chocolate and gummy bears and other sweets they love
because their competition has beat them to the knock,
please bring out all that candy that you have kept in stock
to fill the bags of children who come knocking at your door.
These fakers are the real creatures that Halloween is for!
For the Sunday Whirl Wordle, the prompt words are: ghoulish night wind tricks spin wrap spell wicked dead crypt buried within
Hallo-fourthof-valen-mas
This festival’s the weirdest of any that I’ve seen—
a crazy combination of Christmas and Halloween.
The hire-a-Santa in the mall wears bear paws on his feet
and when the kids climb on his lap, they mutter, “Trick or Treat!”
Below the Christmas wreaths above, door knockers are kept busy
as grandmas baking Yule logs are kept in a fine tizzy
by swarms of little carolers who can barely reach
the door knockers, who gather with arms up to beseech
the homeowners for candy after every song,
then stuff it in the Christmas stockings that they brought along.
Scores of scavengers dressed up like shepherds or like kings
as well as Virgin Marys or angels sporting wings
abandon Christmas pageants to Trick-or-Treat instead.
You might ask me by what edict the world was made to wed
Halloween and Christmas? What legislative body
chose two celebrations equally over-gaudy
and mixed them both together to try to regulate
the number of occasions on which we celebrate?
I think it was the W-H-O that thought up this solution
to try to deal with Covid and to try to curb pollution,
then issued this weird sentence and made us all comply
to celebrate all holidays on the fourth of July!
And so in combination with the skeletons and holly,
as witches and small ghosts are enjoined to act more jolly,
fireworks are exploding in the sky far up above,
and as they trick-and-treat they also express love
by handing out their valentines—kill two birds with one stone
by trading hearts for Hershey bars with a ghostly moan.
And that’s how Hallo-fourthof-valen-mas has come to be
the only time when we’re allowed a group festivity.
And since part of it’s Halloween, without being asked
every guest, no matter what their politics, comes masked!!!
In question 4069, Ann Koplow has asked us to describe a new holiday. This is mine.
Scorpion in the Sacristy
Minuscule but powerful, it causes us to shake.
The most masculine among us have been known to quake
and to seek protection whenever one is seen,
for it is rumored that their punch is wicked mean.
They inspire colorful language from the subjects of their strikes,
because it’s understatement to simply scream out “Yikes!”
when stricken by a scorpion. The occasion calls for more,
and that is why the village priest was pardoned when he swore
as he removed the host veil and was stung upon the hand,
for though the Holy Father issued a reprimand
for the sin of taking the name of Christ in vain,
since the priest was still in shock and reeling in his pain,
not one of his parishioners, it’s said, has censored him,
for each and every one of them thanked God it wasn’t them!
Prompt words today are colorful, minuscule, punch, quake, protection and seen.
Improving on the Masters
Surreptitiously, I raise the quill to make a thin gray line
to festoon the drawing that is not even mine,
then tuck my small utensil securely in my purse.
Nightly I make this journey, and nightly I rehearse
what I will say if caught at last, imagining the worse.
The art museum’s climate—chill and dry and dark
gives way to summer’s damp heat as I hurry through the park,
find my car and drive away, speeding ever faster
lest I be finally detected, improving on a master.
Prompt words today are festoon, surreptitiously, quill, utensil, thin, climate.
Seasonal Bribery
Santa’s elves are in the workshop wrapping caramel kisses
to put in the stockings of little boys and misses
whose lofty thoughts are centered on baseball gloves and dolls—
hopes whispered into Santa’s ear in numerous city malls.
But my premonition is that though your needs are captivating,
there’s a likely chance that Santa’s been equivocating
about giving you the puppy that you’ve been asking for
every day and every night for a year or more.
I’ve heard Santa’s considering the possibility
that you might be lacking in responsibility.
Would you fill his food bowl and pick up puppy poop?
Would you train him not to raid the chicken coop?
Everything about a puppy is not cute and nice.
He might bring you baby birds or even wiggling mice!
Tear up favorite clothes you leave upon the floor,
chew up all your Barbie dolls and Teddy bears and more.
You’d have to learn to clean your room and put your things on shelves—
all the things observed by Santa and his elves.
Do your chores the first time requested by your mother.
If you can’t do your present chores, could you handle another?
It’s not too late to change your ways. Come help to dry the dishes.
Santa might be watching and decide to meet your wishes.
You have another month or two in which you could grow up
enough so you can handle caring for a pup!!!
Prompts today are caramel, workshop, premonition, lofty, responsibility, captivating.
Dietary Doldrums
Her eating habits, luckily, were found to be most corrigible,
for her personality was found to still be porridgeable.
Oatmeal formed her breakfast and salads formed her lunch
as she foresook the bad foods on which she used to munch.
Buttery popcorn banished as an unhealthy mistake,
she snacked instead on kale chips for her figure’s sake.
Rare steak was soon banished, for she relished it no more
once she foresook flesh meats, shuddering at their gore.
Her electric grinder ground chickpeas up instead
and this was the protein upon which she fed.
Healthy ever after once her war with food was won,
meals sugarless and greaseless, alas, were not much fun.
\Prompt words today are buttery, personality, gore, corrigible, Steak and electric. Image by Deryn Macey on Unsplash.
Preparing for Summer
When your appetite starts knocking and you crave a light repast,
even though the time since your last meal seems too vast,
tie your cravings to a stanchion and curb their niggling prompt.
Do some calisthenics or take a forest romp.
Defenestrate those Oreos. Resist that peanut brittle.
It takes a lot of will power to make yourself more little.
Dieting’s not easy. Resolution is the pits,
but it will all be worth it when your favorite swimsuit fits!!!!
Prompts for today are: knocking, vast, defenestrate, stanchion, forest and peanut brittle.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 