Fresh Worms for Sale
Many have not come to terms
with the benefits of worms.
They find them repulsive and squishy.
Revolting, creepy, crawly, ishy.
But these folks tend to just react
without examining each fact
of all that folks could find to do
with worms if they’d just buy a few.
Granted, worms that wad and mingle
lack the charm of just a single
worm that can be used for bait
on a hook and with a weight,
but every person knows this use,
which always calls for worm abuse.
Worms, however, also toil
to break up and aerate the soil.
In jars with holes poked in the lids,
worms make good pets for little kids.
Good for hours of watching, they need
little care and little feed.
Worms don’t need collars, leashes, dishes,
never go against your wishes.
They are not barkers nor run-arounds.
None of the nastiness of hounds.
They have no hair to grow and shed.
You do not have to pat their head.
They have no other nasty habits
like gerbils, hamsters, cats or rabbits.
You don’t have to change their litter.
When traveling, you don’t need a sitter.
No vet bills when your pets are worms–
no fleas nor ticks nor mites nor germs.
Worms take up very little space
and may be trained to run a race.
And if you make a well-placed bet,
they just might get you out of debt.
The benefit of worms now told,
May I consider this worm sold?
Surely you’ll find much to do
with one or two that leave with you.
If you’re not a fisherman
and if a pet’s not in your plan,
If you are a sadistic sickie,
just put one down your girlfriend’s dickie!*
*for the youth among us, a dickey is a turtle neck or collared inset
that may be worn under a vee-necked sweater or jacket to create the illusion that one is wearing a sweater or blouse under it.
The Prompt: Embrace the Ick–Think of something that truly repulses you. Hold that thought until your skin squirms. Now, write a glowing puff piece about its amazing merits.