Category Archives: Humor

Fibbing Friday, June 7, 2024

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Image by Shutterstock

For Fibbing Friday the challenge this week is:

1. What is a codpiece?  A fish’s six-shooter
2. What is a doublet? A very small set of twins.
3. Who wears the hose?  The head fireman.
4. What is a gauntlet? A very skinny head of romaine.
5. What’s kept in the moat? Nothing. There’s no room for any mo at the moat.
6. Where is the portcullis? Portcull is no longer here. It has been culled.
7. Who wields the battle axe?  Batman
8. Where is the draw bridge? At the entrance to the art academy.
9. What is a catapult? The cata pult the mouse out a his hole and eata it.
10. What is a flagon? It’s on a flag pole.

Monochrome-Madness

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I can’t for the life of me remember what I had on around my neck and face or why.

Click on photos to enlarge. Especially the last two!

I think the first two photos require an explanation. I would have stepped on this strange little creature if my friend hadn’t grabbed my arm and pointed down to it. This is exactly as we found it in the Walmart shopping center. It looked like a little animated dog poop creature trying to escape from a sinkhole! Yes, I did pick it up and bring it home with me. Relax. It was made of rubber. I included a second shot to show you the scale.

 

For Leanne’s Monochrome Madness

“Unruly Words” for The Sunday Whirl Wordle 657

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Unruly Words

This poem wants to dangle or take a giant leap.
I can hear it whirring as it wakens me from sleep.
I think that it’s been restlessly dancing in my dreams,
clicking on its castanets and bursting at its seams.

It may want to be a song, and thus the castanets.
Let’s hope this is the noisiest that this poem gets!
I like my poems whimsical and gentle like a sneeze.
Instead of words that storm and fuss, I prefer a breeze.

I grant that poetry has stirred others to their fate,
but poems that are too preachy tend to irritate.
Please talk to me in gentle words that put me at my ease,
for in this angry world it’s harder to find words that please.

For The Sunday Whirl the prompt words are: clicking whimsical leap poetry songs be whirring dangling fates talk grant storm (Image from a free image generator–couldn’t resist, but I promise not to get carried away with this!)

 

 

Baaad Puns, For Fibbing Friday May 31, 2024

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The questions this week were provided by Jim Adams. Thanks, Jim!

1. Rumpelstiltskin spun straw into gold in exchange for what? He would exchange for only two things: bitcoin or newly pressed stilt covers. 
2. What did humans do before the bobbin was invented? Called ahead for appointments.
3. What is the difference between knitting and crocheting?  a missing knit and an added croche.
4. What does a drop spindle do? Creates a mist to cool off crowds in a heat wave.
5. What does a painted pony have to do with a spinning wheel? They are both parts of a carousel.
6. If you stick a needle in your eye, does that show sincerity? No. It shows stupidity.
7. What was Barthélemy Thimonnier known for? The invention of a wallet one straps to one’s inner thigh to protect against pickpockets.
8. What happened in the Golden Age of sewing?  Thread price futures soared.
9. What breed of sheep makes the best wool? The ones who bring in the best return financially are Polypay sheep.  (A real breed.)
10. What happens when the cotton field gets rotten? Wool prices soar.

 

For Fibbing Friday

for Fibbing Friday, May 24, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday, today’s week’s questions are:

For Fibbing Friday

One No Trump for dVerse Poets, May 17, 2024

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 One No Trump

I must begin this sad narration

with these words of sad regret

for the state of our lost nation

 that has lost that noble way

carefully  planned in its gestation,

perfect in its founders’ minds,

but somehow skewed in maturation

by takeovers from the Trumpster set

 led by an idiot’s vain oration!

The dVerse Poets Magic 9 prompt today was to write *a poem in 9 lines
*meter and line-length at discretion of poet
*rhyme, a b a c a d a b a, with c and d unrhymed

Go HERE to read other poems that followed the propt.

 

 

For Fibbing Friday, May 17, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday the prompt questions are:

1. What did the fan say? Cool!

2. What really kicks off summer? Boot Camp.

3. Who rules the world? A Surveyor

4. What is the best thing to do to someone who snores? Get them their own room.

5. Who/what was your last unexpected house guest? Hurricane Sheila. Last house guest ever–expected or unexpected.

6. How does a blanket keep warm? It snuggles up to a warm body.

7. Why shouldn’t you snoop? Because ‘snot polite.

8. What is the worst thing that could happen to you? Nothing.

9. What do the gopher and mole do when they meet? Gopher supplies at the Mexican market and make molé.

10. What lurks in your backyard? Three dogs.

Bonus question
11. What is the best way to torture someone? Chuckle every time you see them.

For Fibbing Friday, May 10, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday the theme is to define the below:

1.   Mini Clubman: A preteen golfer
2.   Morris Minor: A paraphrase of “More is less.”
3.   Range Rover: A mounted cowboy
4.   Hillman Imp: A mountain sprite
5.   Datsun Violet: What Violet’s husband said to her when she queried him regarding what the glare was as they took the bandages off after her surgery that gave her vision for the first time.
6.   Triumph Herald: A messenger carrying the news that there will be three umpires for the game.
7.   Austin Cambridge: A viaduct constructed from used tin automobile cams.
8.   Ford Capri : The tag of a Christmas present for Leonardo Decaprio that the dog got to first and chewed a corner off of.
9.   Alfa Romeo: Fifty percent of an entire Romeo.
10. Talbot Horizon: An illustration of a mountain created by Artificial Intelligence.

Feline Gamble/Renewing the Catfood for #Squares Renew

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Feline Gamble

Stocked up on sustenance for my cats
and stowed it in a cupboard that’s
just outside my kitchen door.
(That’s what I built that cupboard for.)

The only problem seems to be
that closet lacks security,
but that is no problem, is it?
Unless cat burglars choose to visit!!

Go HERE for a kitty serenade.

 

For # Squares Renew

Baby Talk for Fibbing Friday for May 3, 2024

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This week’s theme from Pensitivity is Out of the Mouths of Babes. You might be familiar with them, but if you didn’t know what they were, what are your thoughts?

1. What is a Moo Moo?  A greeting by Farmer Brown’s stuttering cow MayBell.
2. What is a Bow Wow? Robin Hood’s performance at the archery competition
3. What is a Gee Gee? Colette’s 1944 Novel, spelled by a non-French person.
4. What is a Botty Cough? The result of AI getting a cold. (That is as in Artificial Intelligence, not Jolson)
5. What is a Chookie Egg? Part of an Australian breakfast.
6. What is a Choo Choo?  A meal in the dining car of a train.
7. What is a Tick Tock? The language of a blood-sucking arachnid.
8. What is a Paw Paw? Your father’s hand.
9. What is a Heffalump?  A cow udder.
10. What are Jammies? Minor collections of broken up ice in a river.