Category Archives: Humor

For Fibbing Friday, Apr 12, 2024

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Image by Diana Polke on Unsplash.

For Fibbing Friday, this week, the prompts prodding us to give voice to untruths are:

1. Accismus: What always precedes a New year’s Eve by six days?
2. Apocryphal: Tarzan’s best friend and shoulder to cry on.
3. Bridewell:  Report on the bride’s condition the morning after her wedding. 
4. Festinate: The medical terminoligy for an inflated and infected wound.
5. Snool: What’s the other name for the Xmas season? 
6. Rendling: Changing the tragic conclusion of a book by popular demand.
7. Fanfaronade: Honorary title bestowed upon the winner of the people’s choice  award in  the international hand-squeezed lemonade competition. 
8. Bloviate: The cocaine Violet  put on her breakfast cereal after mistaking it for sugar.
9. Pudibund: The extra-large  cummerbund in every man’s closet that is a precautionary    necessity in the event that he overindulges in the Xmas pudding.
10. Rebarbative: The state of a rose bush when it is growing new thorns.

Which Way???? CWWC Apr 11, 2024

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For Cee’s CWWC, any type of road, path, step, bridge or sign on the theme of Which Way? It seems like this qualifies! There is a sign and who knows which way the locks of this lovely twisty head of hair is going to go next??? Click on photos to enlarge.

Day’s End, NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 11, Monostich Poem

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Day’s End

One more stitch in the garment of life.

 

The NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a Monostich Poem–a one-line poem. (I couldn’t resist the pun.)

“Kitchen Cruelty” For NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 10

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“Woman sentenced to 5 years Expulsion from Kitchen for Cruelty to Kohlrabi”

Concerning cruelty to food, I’m worthy of your jeers.
I’ve tortured tortellini and brought green onions to tears.
I’ve chopped heads off of celery, gored eyes out of potatoes,
cut kernels off of ears of corn and boiled live tomatoes.
Shredded parmesan and Julienned countless bell peppers,
minced salmon into balls and rolled pancakes into crepers.
I’m guilty of the boiling of innocent spaghetti
and of wielding blade to chop a cabbage into fine confetti.
I am a kitchen torturer of unthinkable portions,
stretching bread dough into the most grotesque contortions.
I never met a batter that I didn’t want to beat,
so if edible, it’s best you stage a fast retreat
or in my oven or my stove, I’ll find a way to heat you,
In short, if you are edible, I”ll find a way to eat you!

For NaPoWriMo Day 10

Oddest Photo Found While Sifting Through My Photo Files

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I showed you mine, not you show us yours!!!!!

Cold Comfort, for NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 9

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Click on Photos to Enlarge.

Cold Comfort

This thermal cup was different. Things stayed cold all night through.
I liked the one that I had first, so then I bought a few.
Four cups grew to six and then finally to eight.
When I misplaced one of them, it always had a mate
waiting in my kitchen drawer, or  three or four or five.
There were always one or two remaining in their hive
when one was left out in my car, the other by my bed,
another in some restaurant  where I had been fed.

One loaned to a friend and one gone to who knows where?
Yet almost everywhere I looked, there was at least one there.
Each time I went to Walmart, I bought all that were left.
When they were discontinued, you can bet I felt bereft.
Now I’m down to six of them from ten that I have bought,
so I need to keep good track of  them—(all of them I’ve got.)
Precious dear containers that keep my ice intact—
my most dear possessions? Yes. It is a fact!!!!

 

NaPoWriMo, Day 9: Write a poem celebrating an everyday object.

For Fibbing Friday: It’s (Not) the Truth!!!

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For Fibbing Friday, the subject is “Truth,” but these are definitely not the true definitions of the provided words.

Groak: Comment by a frog with (ironically) a frog in its throat
Nefelibata: Cake mixture made by a recent addition to the cooking staff at the bakery.
Paranymph: Identical twin sisters with equally loose morals.
Flummery: Insincere flattery.
Sirenize: The part of a seductive woman located between the thigh and calf.
Carker: A dog who loves riding in automobiles.
Smatchet: The unsharp side of the axe used for smacking naughty kids.
Shivviness: An unordinary fondness for Chevrolets.
Sprauncy: What I said to Celia, my Australian friend,  when she asked me what that shrimp cocktail was.
Druxy: Beth and Jo’s pet name for Nancy Drew.

Sorry this is late! My sister just tipped me off that I’d forgotten to do it.  Done in 12 min. while waiting for company to arrive!!! Phew!!!! A new speed record.

“Python Pariah” for The Sunday Whirl Wordle 649, Apr 7, 2024

Python Pariah

The root of all his problems is a bad mood he can’t shake.
Spooning with a garden hose?  A horrible mistake!
Returning now to his old den is not within the cards.
Too humiliating to face his former pards.

Outside it is both cold and wet and ice stands up in slivers.
It’s the sort of weather that can give a snake the shivers. 
Hard to move through ice and snow with neither arm nor limb
and all those constellations of shards of ice on him.

He’s gobbled down a lizard and nibbled on a squirrel,
then lay rigid on the platform until ready to unfurl.
He negotiated train tracks after descending a stair.
Zipped right down the train aisle without paying his fare.

Slipped into the baggage room and curled up in a coil,
rocking with the movement as the train began to roil.
He then passed a dreary spell while digesting his food.
It’s hard to enjoy traveling when in an iffy mood.

When he is finished shivering, then he begins to cough.
He knows not his destination, knows not where he’ll get off.
He only asks that it is warm with places he can hide
and curl up somewhere safe with a real girl snake at his side!

 

The Sunday Whirl Wordle 649 prompt words are: nibbles slithers spoon platform shards root constellations limbs dreary spell shake wet

Swing Shift for NaPoWriMo

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Swing Shift
One thing Lynnie Brost knew for sure was when she was right.
The problem was, that her tongue
was not always adequately aligned to her head.
But she knew for sure
that my time was up
and that it was her turn next
on her favorite swing.
Her face red, hands on hips,
she demanded that I surrender my place.
“And I mean maybe!!!” she screamed
into the uncensoring air.
No other denizen of the swings
saw fit to tell her
the contradictory nature
of her emphatic statement.
Nor did I.

For Day 6 of NaPoWriMo
Image by Matthew Moloney on Unsplash

Midday Trialogue For NaPoWriMo 2024 Day 5

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Midday Trialogue 

You follow me wherever I go
or walk in front of me.
At day’s middle, I trip over  you.
Never am I free.

I have no light inside me,
I’m your dark side. You’re my cue.
I have no choice in where I go.
I’m always here with you.

I send them both where they must go,
The power is all mine.
I am their master painter.
I keep them both in line.

Without me, neither one would be.
Shadows are borne by sun,
and the entire world would cease
if my light were done.

I grow every living thing,
body and silhouette.
So you can see that both of you
are purely in my debt.

For NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 5