Category Archives: Humor

“Nocturnal Shuffle” for RDP

DSC09523
Midnight Minuet

Sneaking down the unlit hall,
we take turns answering nature’s call,
awaiting our own turn to sneak
to the john to have a leak.

In the darkness, we repeat
this rather tricky hourly feat.
Him, then her, then me at last.
So are our nightly ramblings cast.

It is not choice that brings us here
to void ourselves of pop or beer.
In fact, a full night’s sleep we seek—
our intentions strong, but bladders weak.

At eleven, twelve and one and two,
sleeping is what we’d rather do.
Instead, we do-si-do—just missing
the next sojourner bent on pissing!

 

This poem is dedicated to all of those over sixty who find themselves taking more nightly journeys down the hall than in the past. Perhaps, like me, you are a houseguest. If so, there is no avoiding the nocturnal shuffle if your hosts, like you, are of a certain age.

 

 

The Ragtag Daily Prompt is Nocturnal

Comb vs. Hair: For NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 22

Comb vs. Hair 

Every day, the great debate
as I attempt to set it straight.
Yet despite how hard I try,
it continues to go awry.
The straight and narrow is not its schtick.
It’s stubborn, willful, obtusely thick.

It wanders from my planned-out way.
Down former paths it prefers to stray.
Daily, I attempt to guide,
while it goes against the tide.
Unruly tangles and snarls abide
while I would choose to smoothly slide

down tresses lovely, shiny, straight,
instead, alas, it is its fate
to wander this way and then that.
(Perhaps it’s best to wear a hat
when wandering away from home?)
This hair will never succumb to comb!!!

The NaPoWriMo prompt today is to write a poem in which two things have a fight.

Silly Answers for Fibbing Friday, Apr 19, 2024

(A Hint)

Our words to “define” for this Friday Are:

1. Sardoodledom  Traditional time of leisure for the highest official during the Russian Empire.
2. Callithumpian  The brutal hazing of freshman students from California by ruffian seniors in Texas.
3. Turdiform  What Shitologists study
4. Persiflage The whipping of an intruder with one’s pocketbook
5. Palpebrous Easily pinched and fondled
6. Chary My favorite kind of pie
7. Malapert Herb’s mom
8. Dowsabel  The loud ringing of the bell in the stock exchange that signals a brilliant trade.
9. Maquillage The result of a fight between a big hamburger and a porcupine
10. Dysania An addiction to shooting craps

 

For Fibbing Friday, Apr 19, 2024

Green Brownies for dVerse Poets, Apr 12, 2024

DSC07902

(This poem evolved from notes that I scribbled into the margin
of our Mexican Train score sheet while visiting my friend Gloria.)

Green Brownies

The brownie that she serves me
crumbles when I try to break it in half.
Her sense of humor allows it and so I tease her.
“Gloria, this looks like the kind of food
my grandmother tried to pawn off on us—
weeks old and crusty from the refrigerator.”

“Those chocolate chips were like that when I bought them!”
she insists, even before I question their green tinge.
I think that this is even worse than the alternative,
and say so and we both laugh as she eats her brownie
and I reduce mine to dust. Not a hard task, as it turns out.

She’s had a bad infection for a week or more.
“I’m not contagious,” she insists each time she coughs
a long low rasping rumble that threatens to avalanche.
“Now stop!” she tells the sounds that explode
without permission from her chest.

“Perhaps,” I say, “These brownies are a godsend
and that’s penicillin growing on the chocolate chips.”
Then her deep coughs transform into
gasps of laughter that echo mine.

The young man there to rake the garden
looks up at us and shakes his head
at two old ladies drinking rum and
eating something chocolate,
and it occurs to me that perhaps
what the world sees as senility
is simply evolution
out of adulthood
to a higher
stage.

For dVerse Poets Open Link 360
You can see how others responded to the prompt HERE.

For Fibbing Friday, Apr 12, 2024

Image by Diana Polke on Unsplash.

For Fibbing Friday, this week, the prompts prodding us to give voice to untruths are:

1. Accismus: What always precedes a New year’s Eve by six days?
2. Apocryphal: Tarzan’s best friend and shoulder to cry on.
3. Bridewell:  Report on the bride’s condition the morning after her wedding. 
4. Festinate: The medical terminoligy for an inflated and infected wound.
5. Snool: What’s the other name for the Xmas season? 
6. Rendling: Changing the tragic conclusion of a book by popular demand.
7. Fanfaronade: Honorary title bestowed upon the winner of the people’s choice  award in  the international hand-squeezed lemonade competition. 
8. Bloviate: The cocaine Violet  put on her breakfast cereal after mistaking it for sugar.
9. Pudibund: The extra-large  cummerbund in every man’s closet that is a precautionary    necessity in the event that he overindulges in the Xmas pudding.
10. Rebarbative: The state of a rose bush when it is growing new thorns.

Which Way???? CWWC Apr 11, 2024

 

For Cee’s CWWC, any type of road, path, step, bridge or sign on the theme of Which Way? It seems like this qualifies! There is a sign and who knows which way the locks of this lovely twisty head of hair is going to go next??? Click on photos to enlarge.

Day’s End, NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 11, Monostich Poem

Day’s End

One more stitch in the garment of life.

 

The NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a Monostich Poem–a one-line poem. (I couldn’t resist the pun.)

“Kitchen Cruelty” For NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 10

“Woman sentenced to 5 years Expulsion from Kitchen for Cruelty to Kohlrabi”

Concerning cruelty to food, I’m worthy of your jeers.
I’ve tortured tortellini and brought green onions to tears.
I’ve chopped heads off of celery, gored eyes out of potatoes,
cut kernels off of ears of corn and boiled live tomatoes.
Shredded parmesan and Julienned countless bell peppers,
minced salmon into balls and rolled pancakes into crepers.
I’m guilty of the boiling of innocent spaghetti
and of wielding blade to chop a cabbage into fine confetti.
I am a kitchen torturer of unthinkable portions,
stretching bread dough into the most grotesque contortions.
I never met a batter that I didn’t want to beat,
so if edible, it’s best you stage a fast retreat
or in my oven or my stove, I’ll find a way to heat you,
In short, if you are edible, I”ll find a way to eat you!

For NaPoWriMo Day 10

Oddest Photo Found While Sifting Through My Photo Files

 

I showed you mine, not you show us yours!!!!!

Cold Comfort, for NaPoWriMo 2024, Day 9

Click on Photos to Enlarge.

Cold Comfort

This thermal cup was different. Things stayed cold all night through.
I liked the one that I had first, so then I bought a few.
Four cups grew to six and then finally to eight.
When I misplaced one of them, it always had a mate
waiting in my kitchen drawer, or  three or four or five.
There were always one or two remaining in their hive
when one was left out in my car, the other by my bed,
another in some restaurant  where I had been fed.

One loaned to a friend and one gone to who knows where?
Yet almost everywhere I looked, there was at least one there.
Each time I went to Walmart, I bought all that were left.
When they were discontinued, you can bet I felt bereft.
Now I’m down to six of them from ten that I have bought,
so I need to keep good track of  them—(all of them I’ve got.)
Precious dear containers that keep my ice intact—
my most dear possessions? Yes. It is a fact!!!!

 

NaPoWriMo, Day 9: Write a poem celebrating an everyday object.