Category Archives: Humor

Fibbing Friday, Feb 16, 2024

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For Fibbing Friday, Feb 16, 2024 the questions are:

1. Jonah wasn’t swallowed by a whale…he was swallowed by a  Wave. He was rescued by a Whale.
2. Who (or what) could make even the fiercest pirate quake in his boots? Ma Kettle
3. What did Huckleberry Finn have to really paint? Little Girl in Blue, but Mary Cassatt got the  credit.
4. What is the best food that can be paired with red wine? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
5. What are you wearing in the sun? Duh. A sunsuit, of course.
6. Why do dogs chase after cars? Someone put a bone on the back bumper rail.
7. What did the cat say to its kitten about the humans? They’re not Purrrfect, but they’ll do.
8. Goldfish are not fish. What are they? Crackers
9. What would you rather do instead of sleeping?  Write about it.
10. The Phantom didn’t haunt the Opera House…He haunted the  outhouse, where he scared the _ _ _ _ out of everyone. 

Image by Todd Cravens on Unsplash.

I dedicate these less than stellar answers to my sister Patti, who said she was suffering withdrawal because i had chosen not to do the Fibbing Friday this week. As usual, I minded her and did the prompt.

Gregarious, for WWP 351

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Gregarious

That Gregory was gregarious
wasn’t a trait nefarious
but still, as he piled word on word,
his excesses seemed  most absurd,
and the fact that he was wired,
meant listeners’ interest soon expired. 
Thus, the faint-hearted
Soon departed

 

For  WWP 351 the prompt was Gregarious. The answer needs to be exactly 38 words long.

The picture is used for illustrative purposes only, although it must be noted this friend loves to talk!
No one would walk away when he does so, however.

Ollie and Friends: For Whatsoever is Lovely, Week 6, 2024

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Olie was lonely so he sneaked into the house to cuddle up to his friends!

For the Whatsoever is Lovely Challenge

“Going Against the Grain” for Fibbing Friday, Feb 9, 2024

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For Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday. This week’s challenges are:

More from Guest Fibber Melissa Lemay this week:

What do you think of reading these?

1.  Distelfink: I am fairly sure this is an exposé of certain loose-tongued souls who themselves told tales out of school. In short, the pot calling the kettle black.
2.  Fastnacht: A quick evening snooze.
3.  Fergesslich: Prince Andrew’s pet name for his first hickey.
4.  Fress; Watercress, within an hour of its harvesting. 
5.  Honswarsht : Squeaky clean Mongolian Warriors right after their baths.
6.  Kedreck: Sneakers after a 20 mile marathon.
7.  Krex: King of Kellogg’s Cereals.
8.  Rutsch: Sound made when chewing the King of Kellogg’s Cereals.
9   Spritz:  Sound made when spitting out the King of Kellogg’s Cereals.
10. Wutz: The abdominal pains you experience if you don’t spit  out the King of Kellogg’s Cereals is your Wutz Nightmare!!!!

Mellowing with Age!!

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Rushing to get ready to leave to drive to the coast, but want to post something, so HERE is a replay of a blog from long ago which makes use of the word Mellow.

 

The MVB prompt is mellow

Fibbin’ Friday, Jan 26, 2024

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The challenge for Fibbing Friday this week is to interpret these words or phrases::

1. “A few sandwiches short of a picnic” What you get when you send a hungry kid to the deli to pick up your order for the party.

2. “Bagsy” My mysterious guest in my garden a few weeks ago.  (See him HERE.)

3. “Bog-standard”  My East Indian doctor, Dr. Adnatsgob’s  door sign, seen in a mirror.

4. “Budge up”  My dad’s advice to me when I asked him for a loan.  “Nope. No way. Better budge up instead!”

5. “Chinwag” My dog’s response to the smell of a bag of McDonald’s hamburgers.

6. “Faff” That sound a can of hair spray makes when it has just run out of spray.

7. “Full Monty”  Monty Python after the cast picnic when you haven’t sent a hungry kid to the deli to pick up your order for the party.

8. “Give me a tinkle on the blower”:  Donald Trump’s entreaty at the Ritz Carlton in Moscow.

9. “On it like a car bonnet”  What you answer, pointing to your head, when a friend asks you where the bird shit on you.

10. “Tickety-boo”  What your offense is called when a cop gives you a ticket for  sneaking up behind him and scaring him.

In A Pinch

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In a Pinch

A pinch of this, a pinch of that.
A pinch of salt or pinch of fat.
What is held between one’s fingers,
the thought of it most surely lingers—
those grains of salt to lick off you
or thoughts of belly fat to rue.

 

The dVerse Quadrille prompt today is pinch.
To see how others have responded to the prompt, go HERE.
Image by Ksenia Makagono on Unsplash.

Fibbing Friday for Jan 19, 2024

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For Pensitivity’s Fibbing Friday  the prompts to define are:

1. Biscotza: A pizza with a biscotti crust.
2. Blabbermaul: Mobster’s girlfriend who turned informant
3. Brutz : Mean men
4. Buss: Transportation for serpents
5. Doplich: A strap with which you lead a dop around.
6. Schnickelfritz: Your answer to your friend’s query about your very bad cheap permanent.
7. Strubbly: A short person with an effervescent personality
8. Glickleck: A French request for a hickey.
9. Grex: Your second husband’s response when your first husband strides into the room.
10. Schnitz: A thin, fried cutlet of meat with a bite taken out of it.

Image by FreePik

Blunt Cut (For RDP)

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Blunt Cut
(A Dear John Note from Rapunzel)

If my hair is a ladder, I’m cutting each rung
and closing the window from which they are hung.
Hope you find a good job since my decision to lop
off your means of support when I cut off my mop!

 

For RDP: Blunt

Costco Owes Me Thirty Minutes!!!

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Yes, it’s true. Costco owes me thirty minutes, which is how long it took
me to get this blasted can of Kirkland Tomato Paste Open!!!!
How is that possible and why was it Costco’s fault? Let me tell you. The story begins when my neighbors Sergio and David asked if I needed anything at Costco. I asked them to get me hamburger and they returned with a package the size of a large newborn baby..7 1/2 lbs! So, I divided it into 7 one pound packages and one 1/2  pound one. Click on pictures to enlarge and hear the rest of the tale.

 

made a meatloaf out of 1 1/2 pounds of the remains, and meatballs out of the rest.
Of course, meatballs screamed out for a sauce, so I tried to open this tomato paste,
but my can opener wouldn’t work,
and when I tried using my punch opener, the paste came oozing up but was too thick to pour out.
When I went to borrow my neighbor’s can opener, his wouldn’t work either, so he gouged it open, but it was impossible to get all the paste out.
Then he had a brilliant thought. Perhaps they had put the label on upside down and you had to open it from the bottom!
And he was right. The fault was not in my can opener, but in the factory. Turned over, the can opened like a charm.
And when the tomato paste was removed (careful, sharp edges) this bit of artistry was revealed.
And although it took me as long to get the can open as to prepare the rest of the sauce, After the sauce had simmered on the stovetop, I added the meatballs I’d made earlier
and popped them in the oven at a low heat.
An hour later.. voila!