Category Archives: Humor

Fibbing Friday

7 Replies

For Fibbing Friday, the assigned words to define this week are:

1. Artichoke. Painter’s block
2. Brass. A cold bottom.
3. Criteria. A shopping mall for animals.
4. Doppelganger. A member of a weatherman’s group. (Dew-People Ganger)
5. Effervescent. Always odiferous.
6. Frugal. In the mood to dance, mid-sixties style.
7. Gossamer. Someone given to repetitive vacation locations. 
8. Hallucinate. To suffer a prolonged, uncontrollable fit of laughter over an old “I Love Lucy” episode. 
9. Ingenious. Not fond of  the “I Dream of Jeannie” show.
10. Jeopardy. A soirée for geologists.

 

“Immortality” for The Three Things Challenge

3 Replies

Immortality

In no way am I ready for meeting the Grim Reaper.
If it were up to me, I’d rather he be a Grim Creeper.
In all ways, I repel the thought that he’s advancing fast,
for when it comes to living, I wish that it would last.
In short, I’m not in readiness but rather in denial,
for I’m simply not in shape to walk that final mile.
I’ve dug my heels in. I’m not ready for that journey in the sky.
I’m going to go on living. I’m not ever going to die!!!

For the Three Things Challenge the prompt words were: REPEL READINESS REAPER

(When we had my sister’s grave marker made, they offered us a “deal” so my other sister and I had our own markers made at the same time. I did not realize that they’d actually install the stones in our family plot!  So, as you can see above…my eternal resting place awaits me. Strangely enough, one childhood friend has told me he mows around it monthly and another sent me this photo of flowers he’d placed on it for memorial day. As you can see, there is no reason for me to actually give up the ghost as I’m getting enough attention without doing the actual deed.)

Jellybelly Saturday Night

9 Replies

Jellybelly Saturday Night

The only right place to put jelly
is on toast and then into your belly..
Then when you are sated
and fully elated,
 go sit it in front of the telly!

for the Limerick Challenge, the prompt was Jelly

“Capitol Hill” for The Sunday Whirl

5 Replies

 

Capitol Hill

He tolls the bell, this liar son
saying that the war he’s won.
He casts his spell, pretending that
the tricks he pulls out of his hat
are gospel truth as he finds fault
with saner men who try to halt
his lies and tricks and machinations
with news reports and protestations
that find him guilty of heinous acts
while he hits back with money’s power
as all around him succumb and cower
fearing their own loss of station,
fortune, job, or reputation.
“It’s fine,” they sigh, “and meant to be
so long as it advances me!”

For The Sunday Whirl #760 the prompt words are:
tolls spell inclined mind find sigh hit guilty fine fault liar 

“Something Old” for dVerse Poets

33 Replies

                                                                                                                              jdb photo

Something Old

Love is a narcotic that makes us think we’re wise-—
nature’s slick conspiracy for matching girls and guys.
It hangs around in barrooms, obscured in eyes and talk,
and before you know it, it makes you walk the walk
down rose-petaled aisles on your way to say “I do,”
in something new or borrowed and something old and blue.

Then love becomes a train wreck, beginning with the pastor
and continuing through daily life until the last disaster
when “I do” becomes “I won’t,” and all love’s vows once-spoken
wind up in love’s dump heap—abandoned, crushed and broken.
Blame it all on Cupid, that chubby little liar,
who never warns us that new love is likely to expire.

For dVerse Poets “Something old. .  .” Prompt

Darn. I took so long trying to find an illustration for the “Something Old, Something New”. . .’ prompt that the Mr. Linky link lapsed, so here it is. for Open Link Night.

Making An Impression, for SOCS

3 Replies

Making An Impression

 

 

Making An Impression

I  think the time has come for me to render this confession.
I simply am no good at all at making an impression.
My hair is light, my skin is pale, I’m hard to see at all.
The only slight impressions I make are when I fall!

 

 

For SOCS, the prompt word is “impress.

Silly Answers, for Fibbing Friday

8 Replies

Yay! Here’s this week’s Fibbing Friday: (Photo by Alex Dusa.)

1. What is a tandem? A liberal  beach visitor.
2. What is a periwinkle?  A cluster of age lines on a geriatric face.
3. What’s the difference between a pitcher and a ewer? One throws a ball and the other bawls at her lamb.
4. Who was Penelope Pitstop? (That should read “What Is Penelope Pit’s top?) It is her breasts, of course.)
5. What is pigeon toed? A pigeon, of course.
6. What is a toupee? A urinating duo.
7. What is carrion? Suitcases you take on the plane for free.
8. What is a milkshake? An allergic reaction to lactose.
9. What is a cockle? A very small rooster.
10. What is a choux bun? A breadroll fed to a chicken in Australia.

Benediction for SOCS

12 Replies

Benediction

May your life be a pleasure from morning to night.
May your  talents be many and your drawbacks be slight.
When you’re sharing a donut may you have the last bite,
without finding out later that your dress is too tight.
May all of your children be a delight.
May they not stutter or blunder or fight.
May they always be tidy, unwrinkled and right.
May they be clever and of adequate height.
May your fame be unblemished and your burdens be light,
so when your husband is high as a kite,
he will have the wisdom to stay out of sight.

 

As you may have guessed, the SOCS  prompt is “may your…”

 

Gadfly, for RDP

14 Replies

Gadfly

Flitting about, here and there
to adjust your makeup, fluff your hair
no one could ever know or guess
how many times you change your dress
to achieve that casual look you flaunt–
like attention’s not the thing you want.
A gadfly free of care and stress
over how you look and dress,
No one would guess how carefully
you engineer the “you” we see.

The prompt for RDP is “Gadfly.”

 

(I just have to show you what AI came up with when I requested it make a picture just like the one above but with the girl a bit older:

Hilarious, no????

“Some Poetic Feet” for dVerse Poets Open Link Night

27 Replies

Malina Rose photo

Four Feet off the Ground

He loved her khaki overalls, her hiking boots and hat,
so altered his agenda to be where she was at.
He knew she was the girl for him, and though he’d never met her,
he knew at once he was in love and that he’d not forget her.
He tracked her to the lunch room, sneaking down the hall,
keeping so far behind she didn’t notice him at all.
He followed her to English class, then slipped into his own.
If it had been left up to him, she never would have known
the strength of his affection. Nor would she have met him.
She would have had no choice to remember or forget him.
From the start, he thought that she clearly walked on air
and one day without knowing it, he followed her up there.
She was two feet off the ground, and with him, it made four.
All across the campus, they were seen to soar.
But when she stopped abruptly, he simply could not miss her.
He forged ahead, bumped into her, and when she turned, he kissed her!
And though at first it seemed that she merely was astounded,
in time, they formed a pair and then they were more firmly grounded.

 

For Photo Challenge #269

For dVerse Poets Open Link Night..Some Poetic Fet!