Well-Dined
Your settings are fantabulous–the china and the cutlery
a window to an earlier time of serving maids and butlery.
Your butter knives and bread plates, shrimp forks and the rest
might lead to intense nervousness as we’re put to the test
to know which fork we should use next. The difference between
the cake fork or the salad fork is not so easily seen.
You’re such an avid hunter through antique stores and bazaars,
searching for ornate candlesticks and antique canning jars,
that you must have been ecstatic when you found this antique set
of twelve place settings, all intact. How lucky could you get?
Eleven serving pieces, plus eleven for each setting—
to hint at all the courses that each diner would be getting.
Spoons for every purpose from ice tea to demitasse.
So many forks that Martha Stewart would be at a loss.
Cheese knives, cake knives, butter knives. Knives for steak and fish.
A different knife or spoon or fork for every single dish!
As we sit down, it’s quite befuddling perusing them,
let alone imagining that we will all be using them.
Our sideways glances indicate we’re all of the same mind.
No matter how confusing, we are bound to be well-dined!
These particular prompt words somehow led me to a memory of a brass-with-teakwood- handles set of cutlery that I bought in a bazaar in India. It was comprised of 144 pieces–eleven pieces in each of the twelve place settings and eleven serving pieces. I was so impressed with it in it’s lovely red felt-lined teakwood case that I bought two of them—one for me and one for my sister. They were, however, a pain to wash and keep shiny as you couldn’t put them in the dishwasher, and when I moved to Mexico, I sold mine. My sister’s had been consigned to her basement storage long before that, but I did once throw a dinner party where I invited eleven people and served a course for each implement. This meant: salad fork, shrimp fork, dinner fork, cake fork, demitasse spoon, ice tea spoon, soup spoon, teaspoon, steak knife, butter knife, regular knife.
Everything went fine until one friend showed up half an hour late from the bar, drunk and with three friends! Needless to say, I was not happy as my service didn’t stretch to fifteen. I had to set up another card table with my regular cutlery and they had to eat their shrimp cocktail and salad with the same fork. After that, my own set was consigned to basement storage as well, but at least it led to this poem.
Prompt words for today are fantabulous, hunter, ecstatic, intense and window. Photo by Dilyara Garifullina on Unsplash. Used with permission.
You’ll need to enlarge the photos to see the stories told by this cake and gingerbread house constructed by Roberta Cheadle. for the Lonely Artist Covid-19 Challenge.
I love Robbie’s originality. What alternative art form can you find to express your Covid experience? Music? Poetry? A story? An original Mask? A costume? A video? A recipe? A painting or sculpture? I think one friend is going to make a piece of jewelry. Use your imagination.
Breach of Conduct
There’s a glitch in my spelling—a flub in my speech.
I spelled the word breech when it should have been breach.
There’s a stupendous difference from word to word,
thus my conveyed meaning was rather absurd.
Forgive me for saying that your breech was ample.
and sending the notice out to get a sample
of whether the world at large shared my opinions,
and that is how my formidable minions
came to demonstrate actions unseemly and rude.
Their remarks about size were incredibly crude.
And so though I am sure that your actions were dumb,
I have no opinion re/ the size of your bum!
Prompt words today are glitch, speech, stupenous, demonstrate and sample. Photo by Obi Onyeador on Unsplash.
Unready for Steady
I’m being boyfriended to death, and it’s only been a week
of walking home from school together, strolling cheek-to cheek.
I never see my girlfriends. I have no time alone.
Every single moment, we are touching bone-to-bone.
I didn’t really think about the facts of going steady.
I guess I should have realized that I just wasn’t ready.
So because you are his best friend, I’m begging you to ready him
because after school today, I’m going to unsteady him!
Heartful Gatherings
Those who yawp on about rainbows and the weather are too wordy.
I’d rather converse at great length about topics more nerdy.
Crossed ankles and a pot of tea with polite conversation
seem somehow remiss in their mental titillation.
Give me feet up on the coffee table with a nerd or two—
both talk and a libation of a stronger brew.
Quantum physics, writing, music, games or art
make for a connection that is closer to my heart.
When it comes to cliques that I could be a part of,
I prefer to find a group that I can find the heart of.
Prompt words for today are connection, nerd, rainbow, yawp and group.
Bumblebees
Plant some flowers, and they will come,
and though they have a fuzzy bum,
curb your finger, curb your thumb.
Have another sip of rum.
Crack your knuckles, pop your gum.
Call your sweetie, call your mum.
Bake some brownies and have you some.
Sing a ditty, whistle, hum.
Play tuba ‘til your lips are numb.
Strum your cello, pound your drum.
Sand your chair legs ‘til they’re plumb.
Pat your kitten’s furry tum,
but as these bumblebees go and come,
to pet one would be really dumb!!!!!
For the dVerse Poets Pub Quadrille Challenge: bum. Two quadrilles on this one!!
To see the challenge, go HERE.
Home Vacation
Exotic locations hold no sway with me.
I’d rather relax right here under my tree.
Here I’m sovereign of place. I’m the queen of the lot.
No finer vacation can ever be bought.
No accidental airline disaster,
no luggage to lose and I get here much faster.
The kitchen is close if I’m in need of sipping.
I need not wear masks and there’s no need for tipping.
Travel right now isn’t all that it was.
Its credibility lowered because
since we are not through with enforced quarantining,
we travel through videos and magazining.
So bring out the cards and bring out the dice,
and a dry gin martini , with olives, on ice.
If we can’t travel to Vegas or Reno,
we’ll have to make do with our home-grown casino!
Word prompts for today are sway, credibility, accidental, sovereign and location.
The Duchess’s Hair Comb
In a very strong wind, in a leap of confusion,
a grasshopper staged an act of intrusion.
His leap took him higher than ever before
just as a visitor opened the door,
and he rocketed high over carpet and chair
to land in the dowager’s snowy white hair.
His illegal entry unplanned and unwitting,
he clung to her coiffure and he ceased his wild flitting.
As friend after friend arrived at her door,
each was given to say, “I simply adore
your new hair ornament. Is it vintage Lalique?
and they came a bit closer, the better to peek
at the grasshopper clinging within a stiff curl,
sprayed liberally so it wouldn’t unfurl.
The grand dame, a bit dotty and splendidly vain,
said over and over and over again,
“Yes, it is,” and bent over to pour out more tea.
Then she settled again, with a cup on her knee.
As the gossip flowed on with nary a bleep,
the grasshopper settled and soon fell asleep.
By this means, he avoided a swat or a squashing
as all of the ladies continued their noshing.
They murdered each sandwich and cookie and cake,
never once taking note that her comb was a fake.
And when the tea ended, he took a small ride
as his patron accompanied her guests all outside.
Then he took a great leap and was finally free
to luxuriate in his new liberty.
Not one person there knew the truth of the matter.
One guest told the tale to her favorite hatter
of the fabulous jewel the dowager wore
and the hatter relayed it to more and to more
of his customers, then asked the lady who wore it
if she would show him, so he, too, could adore it.
So she raided her vaults and her jewelry case,
but the jewel had vanished—was gone with no trace.
And the lady, known lately as vague and forgetful,
imagined great loss and grew angry and fretful.
She questioned her servants, then called the police,
but since she could find not a trace of the piece—
no receipts or photos or proofs of insurance—
the police could not give her any assurance
that they could recover it, and soon departed,
leaving the dowager so broken-hearted,
now convinced that this hair ornament was her favorite,
mourning the fact that no more could she savor it.
Thus goes the story that was handed down
among the servants and all over town.
It went down in history as a grand theft
that left the grand duchess sorely bereft.
While down in the garden, hearty and hale,
her purloined jewel calmly munched on her kale.
Prompt words today are carpet, rocket, garden, intrusion and illegal.
